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“Aim high and serve nothing but aces”: (Re)-watching The Bionic Woman

Mel O'Drama

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Escape To Love / Max

(continued)




Jamie’s few scenes in Max are all from a hospital bed, where Rudy is said to be doing some routine maintenance on her bionic limbs. While this adds a certain realism, and it’s almost refreshing for Jamie to have a degree of normality, it feels plain wrong to have an episode of The Bionic Woman in which the titular character is a supporting character, and her usual activities are distributed among the “spinoff” characters: Max doing bionic duties, Bobby sneaking in to try and rescue his aunt and Val bringing the feminine charm.


Spinoff theories aside, the other thought is that it might have come from necessity if Lindsay had some kind of injury which meant that she couldn’t be as active. It’s not unheard of for this to happen in TV series, and we certainly don’t see her doing anything other than sitting in bed. But I also noticed that Lindsay had visible tan lines on her face where she’d clearly recently been in the sun. Perhaps this episode was simply written round giving the leading lady a bit of R&R, with her returning at the end of some time off to shoot all her scenes in one day.

Incidentally, as part of my exploration in trying to work out why Lindsay hardly appeared, I tried to see if she gave birth around this time. It appears not, since her first child was born in 1982. But it was news to me that at this time she was married to Michael “James Dempsey” Brandon. I’d had no idea. With the guest-cast on this series, Lindsay was already two degrees of separation from Dynasty. This not only puts a new spin on that, it also makes her a maximum of three degrees of separation from EastEnders.

Back in Escape To Love, Sandor has fallen in love with Jaime and finds time during their hiding out to write a love song for her. It’s all a little saccharine, but all is forgiven thanks to a brilliant choice in the score. The song isn’t sung, but Jaime reads out the words while Sandor strums his little guitar (not a metaphor. It’s an actual guitar). The guitar is incorporated into Charles Albertine’s score, with other instruments added until it becomes a full instrumental and the audience can experience how the song “sounds” in Sandor’s head. I find myself wondering if Charles wrote the entire song or put the music to lyrics written by episode scribe Ellen Wittman. Either way it’s a wonderful bit of detail.

Sandor’s crush never feels as inappropriate as it could, mainly because Mitchell Laurance is in his late twenties here. He’s acting perhaps a dozen years younger than he is, which is a little jarring. This might be why the character feels as though he has a mild developmental disorder.

Sandor’s behaviour continues to be frustrating at times. He makes a three act play over deciding whether or not he wants Jaime to rescue him. He ignores Jaime’s instructions to stay close to her, wandering off to pick her flowers and so gets caught in a trap, meaning they miss their chance of reaching the helicopter waiting to whisk them to safety. Later on he hands himself over to the enemy without consulting the people working overtime to rescue him.

All the same, there’s a sense of a journey. He does attempt to overcome his fear about escaping. His crush on Jaime is endearing (up to a point). And when he ends up in the same situation of crossing the border at episode’s end, he eventually manages to stop making Zoolander faces long enough to run.

It also has to be said that some of the frustration adds to the episode and makes Escape To Love a far more watchable episode than Max. Sandor is in an extreme situation, and responding as many people no doubt would. It’s good to see a character who doesn’t seem to get the rules of superhero sidekicks. His indecisiveness and hesitation amps up the suspense which in turn raises the level of threat, because it’s a complication for Jaime.

In Max, Bobby might end up being a bit more go-getting than Sandor, but it doesn’t quite make up for the fact that he’s a bit of a nob to begin with.
 

Mel O'Drama

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Over The Hill Spy / All For One / The Pyramid








As I’ve said before, this series works best for me when it’s not too fantastic. Aliens with futuristic technology and noisy flashing “hi-tech” machines are a turn-off. As are superhuman powers, beyond bionics or that which can be scientifically explained.

This is why the humdrum Over The Hill Spy and All For One are far preferable to the fantastic elements of The Pyramid, even with its higher stakes and key moments such as the atomic power pack for Jaime’s bionics being removed.

The Pyramid is played for truth as much as possible, but can never look anything but dated and I found myself tuning out for much of the episode. Christopher Stone from Fly Jaime is back, now playing Chris Williams who has O.S.I. connections and is apparently firmly established with Oscar as Jaime's latest beau (poor Raymond must have got tired of waiting for Jaime to return). He's got a similar rugged charm to Steve Austin (and even Steve's old moustache), but at the moment it's a bit meh. I found him more engaging in Fly Jaime, so if we can't have Steve or Roger Grette, I do wonder why not simply have Stone playing Marlowe whose doctoring skills had brought him onto the O.S.I.'s radar.

Back in humdrumsville, Over The Hill Spy and All For One both see Jaime chloroformed and bound. How many times has this happened during the series now? We must be onto fingers and toes. In Spy the perpetrator, Terrence Quinn, explains to the recovering Jaime his reasons for favouring chloroform. One being that it has “minimal side effects”. Dr Google tells me it can cause asphyxiation and arrhythmia leading to heart attack, in addition to being a carcinogen. Good job Quinn isn’t trying to harm her.

Quinn himself is Jaime’s odd couple pairing for the episode. An O.S.I. agent and master of disguise whose age forced him into retirement against his wishes and so the titular Over The Hill Spy. The price for him to assist Jaime and to allow Oscar back into his good books is ten years’ salary with benefits to which Oscar readily agrees. Where do I sign up? In All For One, along similar lines, Oscar also authorises the government to put thirty eight students through university. Deep pockets indeed.

Raising an eyebrow or two, many of the lighter notes in Spy come from Quinn’s age, most notably his myopia. After losing his glasses, he basically becomes Mr Magoo. Meanwhile, All For One features Over The Hill Student Mrs Simpson. Something about her hanging out with the three fast talking young criminals, keeping watch as they pull their tricks and chatting away to Jaime as the roofie in Jamie’s coffee takes effect puts me in mind of the jive talking pensioner from Airplane!

Linking the campus antics of All For One with the high sci fi of The Pyramid is future Mr Lindsay Wagner Henry Kligi. He effortlessly goes from playing a grungy student to an Inca Warrior. And I didn’t even notice until after the fact.
 

Angela Channing

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As I’ve said before, this series works best for me when it’s not too fantastic. Aliens with futuristic technology and noisy flashing “hi-tech” machines are a turn-off. As are superhuman powers, beyond bionics or that which can be scientifically explained.
You're so right. The whole concept of replacement limb and brain implants making someone superhuman was a pretty outlandish idea back in the 1970s, the rest of the show needed to be rooted in reality for it to work.

Loving your reviews, by the way.
 

Mel O'Drama

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You're so right. The whole concept of replacement limb and brain implants making someone superhuman was a pretty outlandish idea back in the 1970s, the rest of the show needed to be rooted in reality for it to work.

The same's true for any premise, I suppose. I can accept any kind of reality if it's well written and played for truth. But as soon as it breaks its own rules of reality, or stretches a concept to the point I don't feel invested then it's a problem.

The Pyramid episode is an example of this. I imagine Jaime and Christopher's initial incredulity was intended to match (and diffuse) the audience's, but I never bought into it the way Jaime did (perhaps because she "lived" it while I had a more objective view).

I was also struck with the contrast between the scenes with the alien sentinel and the ones with Oscar and the technicians which had lots of really nice, naturalistic touches in the way Oscar interacted with these colleagues. Usually it would be enough for me to believe, but in this case the contrast seemed to work against it by heightening the artifice of the scenes with Jaime and the alien.



Loving your reviews, by the way.

Oh, thank you.
 

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The Antidote / The Martians Are Coming; The Martians Are Coming / Sanctuary Earth / Deadly Music




Following on from an episode in which Jaime lies in bed while Max has an adventure and another in which aliens invade, these four episodes include one in which Jaime lies in bed while Max has an adventure and a double-bill of alien invasion. Then, for good measure, it throws in an episode in which sharks are visibly abused. Happy days.

Firstly, the Max episode, The Antidote. When Jaime was hospitalised after being poisoned early in the episode, I groaned inwardly. The last thing I felt like watching was another episode in which Jaime was sidelined while Max ran round with his human companion (Chris in this case) to solve matters. And that’s exactly what I got. It turns out, though, that I became quite invested in the episode as it progressed. Yes, most of the Chris/Max stuff was humdrum, but the scenes of Jaime helpless in her hospital bed while a bogus nurse/Soviet spy plans to finish the job were quite gripping at times. And Callahan was back as well.

I still can’t shake the feeling that Max and The Antidote were filmed around Lindsay being limited for whatever reason. I’m fairly sure that none of her studio work in this episode saw her on her feet. The opening scene with her poisoned had her seated for the entire scene. There was a little walking/kicking action in location scenes, but I assume they were filmed out of sequnce, and she was supposed to be injured and unwell anyway.

As season three progresses there’s a feeling not only of repetition but of puerility. At the very least, the sci-fi element has not only been increased, it also feels more generic and silly. There’s little rationale behind much of it.

The Martians Are Coming is a particular low point. Sanctuary Earth may have actual aliens, but Martians had a ridiculous Scooby Doo explanation about humans using holograms to make a helicopter look like a spaceship. And a heap of laughably shoddy special effects. I almost felt embarrassed for the dignified actors left trying to polish this turd.

Sanctuary Earth may have an alien fleeing a war torn planet like Kara Zor-El, but she is played by (a very young) Helen Hunt who has that Jodie Foster thing of being an old head on young shoulders. She brings a depth and emotional intelligence that overcomes naff imagery, including a Land Of The Giants type scene where she stands next to a giant telephone for a scene where she is supposed to have condensed herself down to a tiny size. With the episode’s primary focus being on the relationship between she and Jaime who helps shield her, it brings out some wonderful colours in Lindsay Wagner as well. It’s far from the best this series has to offer, but if we must have alien beings arriving this is the way to go.








continued...
 

Mel O'Drama

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The Antidote / The Martians Are Coming; The Martians Are Coming / Sanctuary Earth / Deadly Music


(continued)




Having three alien-themed episodes in very close succession can be perhaps be attributed to trends of the time. Star Wars was nine months old at this point. New enough to be on trend; but long enough to be an established cultural phenomenon as the highest grossing film of all time at that point.

The sharks of Deadly Music no doubt reflect the influence of the previous holder of the highest grossing crown, and The Bionic Woman’s Universal cousin: Jaws. It was well known by the public that the hugely anticipated sequel Jaws 2 was in production at the time this episode aired, and Universal were no doubt keen to exploit this. The shark fad was everywhere, from film rip-offs to superhero comics to sitcoms. All things considered, Jaime battling sharks is entirely predictable. Not having been aware of this episode before, I found it interesting to note that it preceded Wonder Woman’s battle with a shark by some ten months. There have been a few such shared scenarios that have made me realise the powers that be over at CBS were evidently watching Jaime’s show with notepads on their laps.

The shark theme may be influenced by the currency of Jaws, but there’s more than a hint of Thunderball in presentation and execution (Jaime even wears a red wetsuit for the underwater scenes). Thunderball’s shark of choice was the Tiger Shark and while it’s not specified, that’s what the sharks here appear to be.

The treatment of the Tiger Shark in Hollywood is fairly brutal. Jaws had a Tiger Shark killed to order in order to be displayed on a dock as the film’s red herring(!), with arrows stuck into it, its jaws removed and an actor spitting on it for a deleted scene. Those in Thunderball were squashed into the salted swimming pool of a villa used by the crew. They were behind plexiglass in order to make Sean Connery look brave though one got through a gap (the production designer later told The Guardian Connery “was walking on water” in order to get out of the pool quickly). They, too, had a dead Tiger Shark brought in, this time to be towed through the pool and appear to attack people. But the special effects crew hadn’t understood how sharks function, and the “dead” shark revived in the water. It goes without saying that the poor creature must have suffered a slow and torturous death.

The Bionic Woman seems to use live Tiger Sharks for some scenes, including one in which a live shark has a flexible pipe wrapped round it and - clearly helpless - is left to sink to the seabed where it rolls slowly onto its back (never a good sign). In another scene, one of the sharks is punched full force on the nose and loops over backwards, hitting its face on the sea bed. It appears dead when it hits, and I suspect it was dead (or stunned) when it was dragged through the water to pretend to attack. And all for the sake of entertainment. Just like in Thunderball.

There is some text at the end of the episode:

Although the U.S. Navy is conducting research inn the behavior of sharks, this story is fictional.

I'm assuming it's legally mandated. And I notice there's nothing about no animal being harmed!

By the way, Jaime has yet another old flame on the go in this episode, flirting like Billy-O when he's trying to go through diving procedure with her. Having grown up in the Eighties with its paranoiac conservatism towards sex in the wake of awareness of HIV, I still find it a little shocking to see the sexual revolution of the Seventies represented in a show of this kind. All the same, it's fascinating. And there's definitely something of the laid back California hippy about Jaime.

For the record, it's also plain to see this season that Jaime burnt her bra. Though this may have as much to do with Farrah Fawcett as the Freedom Trash Can.
 

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I remember an article in Look-In from 1978 where they said the alien themed episodes were all connected together and were about a race of superior aliens coming to earth to take back their rule of the planet and that centuries before had given mankind extra brain power to function as thinking beings instead of animals. This however isn't what we got in the series when it arrived and the shows with the aliens had no relation to each other whatsoever!
JB
 

Mel O'Drama

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I had always wondered why they had so many alien themed episodes this particular season but I guess capitalizing on the Star Wars craze made sense at the time. I would say they did overdo it a little though.

Oh yes, I agree. It's more noticeable because two of the episodes were back-to-back, and they happened just two episodes after The Pyramid. It feels a little tired at this point, as though they're just throwing sci-fi cliches at the series at the expense of the more grounded reality it's had for most of its run. It's possible they're running out of ideas and repeating stuff as long-running episodic sci-fi series tend to do after a couple of seasons. But I also can't help wondering if NBC had a different approach to the series.



I remember an article in Look-In from 1978 where they said the alien themed episodes were all connected together and were about a race of superior aliens coming to earth to take back their rule of the planet and that centuries before had given mankind extra brain power to function as thinking beings instead of animals.

Oh, well remembered Johnny. That could have been really interesting.



This however isn't what we got in the series when it arrived and the shows with the aliens had no relation to each other whatsoever!

Yes, it's all a bit random, isn't it?
 

Mel O'Drama

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This is one of the reasons I didn't enjoy season 3 as much as I enjoyed 1 & 2.

I'd say this is true for me as well. Season Three has its moments and it certainly has some good things going for it (like more Callahan). It's also my first time out with Season Three (unlike the first two), so there's that as well. But my overall feeling is that the first two years were more consistently well-written.
 

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I noticed you can still see Lindsay's scar that she got from her car crash with then hubby Michael Brandon! Upon reading her wiki page it appears they were permanent scars some were on her scalp but they were hidden by her flowing locks! Not sure when it happened TV episodes wise but on January 18th 1976 after only six episodes had been screened but I'm not aware of when I first noticed the one above her lip!
JB
 

Mel O'Drama

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I noticed you can still see Lindsay's scar that she got from her car crash with then hubby Michael Brandon! Upon reading her wiki page it appears they were permanent scars some were on her scalp but they were hidden by her flowing locks! Not sure when it happened TV episodes wise but on January 18th 1976 after only six episodes had been screened but I'm not aware of when I first noticed the one above her lip!

According to a Bionic Wiki (which in turn references The Bionic Book) it was around the time The Deadly Missiles was shot and the scar is first noticeable in Bionic Beauty. Watching on a larger screen, it's quite noticeable at times in some First Season episodes, though I haven't noticed it as time's gone on so I assume it's either healed or been treated (or perhaps I'm not that observant).
 

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Well I can't say I noticed when and where I first saw her scar but I did remember something about it written in a paper or on the net! Seeing that pic you put up reminded me of her accident and the car crash that caused it!
JB
 

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Which One Is Jaime? / Out Of Body / Long Live The King / Rancho Outcast






As we hurtle towards the end of the run - just one episode remains of the series proper - I’m happy to report that there’s been a general upturn in the quality of output.

Most notably, there have been no aliens or flying saucers in these four episodes. The closest we’ve got to stretching credulity has been Tommy Littlehorse transcendentally manifesting his spirit self all over the shop while he’s in a coma. But, do you know what? I willingly suspended my disbelief because of the reasonably intelligent way in which the rest of the story was told.

There is still a little repetition. Some of it is seen in motifs or tropes: characters are rendered unconscious by injections from darts or microneedles in more than one of these episodes, for example; while Jaime’s odd couple pairings with untrustworthy affiliates also continues.

Some repetition can be seen in revisiting actors, such as Rancho Outcast seeing the return of Diane “Arleen” Civita and Henry “Mr Lindsay Wagner” Kligi , both playing different characters from those we’ve previously seen (this is Henry’s third role in less than four months).

And then some of it feels more blatantly like we’re covering significant ground that’s been walked before. Long Live The King, for example, feels very much like a retread of Season Two’s Jaime And The King.

Not that this familiarity makes it bad or unwatchable. Quite the opposite. I’m thoroughly enjoying the series again, which is really something considering I was becoming resigned to the idea that the series had jumped the shark and I was prepared for these latter episodes to be a test of endurance. I’m glad this hasn’t been the case.

What else? Well, Callahan and Mark Russell both made their curtain calls in Which One Is Jaime? It’s always great to see Callahan. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned Sam Chew Jr. as Mark very much, but his recurring appearances going back to Season One have brought a comforting familiarity and consistency. He’s inconspicuous enough to allow the main actors to shine, while having enough screen presence to intrigue. In a couple of his early appearances I’d thought he looked like a young Bill Devane and had to check it wasn’t his son Joshua.

Universal Studios Tour alert: I recognised the Flash Flood street instantly, which is curious because I’ve never been on the tour, nor do I have a specific association (though I’m sure I’ve seen it in numerous TV shows and films).

Jaime’s love life is as busy as ever. As well as a flirtation with ladies’ man Sam Sloan in Long Live The King, Jaime is seen to share a deep bond with Tommy Littlehorse in Out Of Body. It’s heavily implied they’re lovers and soulmates.

As well as finding time for all that, Jaime’s also updated her Datsun 280Z. Her new one has different bumpers and silver alloys rather than the black wheel covers. It’s even more lovely than the one it replaces.
 

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On The Run




If I had expectations of this episode, they were based in the knowledge that this isn’t quite the end of the story. Three reunion films wrapped up the story a decade later. suggesting that the series proper would end in a reasonably open-ended way, as is par for the course with this era and genre.

I also knew the final episode title ahead of time and had seen a still associated from this episode in which Jaime looks upset and is seen hugging a man. We only see the back of his head (as it appears to be in a home setting I’d assumed it was Jim Elgin. Turns out it’s Oscar).

From these small nuggets, I’d deduced it was Jaime who would go on the run from the O.S.I. And that the episode would perhaps be one that’s one of reflection for the character. I wasn’t wrong on either count, but still, the episode managed to surprise me with its approach.

Watching at this pace - the entire series in six weeks - I’ve been unable to fully put out from my mind the difficulties Jaime had adjusting to her bionics at first, and the deal she struck with Oscar and the O.S.I. to go to work occasionally. Back in Welcome Home, Jaime, I felt she’d adjusted to her new life too easily, and got her memories sorted out too easily.

As time’s gone on, we’ve seen less and less of her life as a schoolteacher, which is fine up to a point, but I’ve found myself questioning how she finds the time to go on all these missions for days and weeks at a time.

Then there are all the men Jaime has dated. Presumably there’s been some skin involved, and yet there’s not really been more than a passing quip about her bionics. While I’m not expecting angst and conflict week after week, I have sometimes found myself wondering about the kind of conversations Jaime might have had with lovers about the fact that she’s a triple amputee and the way this might have affected her confidence.

While Jaime’s crisis may have seemed to come from nowhere, with all of the above in mind it felt incredibly right. Her weariness from being at the beck and call of the O.S.I; the fact that she’s had less and less time to teach; her feeling like she’s losing her humanity; her doubts about the way she is perceived by others. It all feels appropriate. This could be watched back-to-back with those early episodes and fit seamlessly in terms of theme and tone.

It’s a very human story, which is the best kind. Appropriately this has given us some terrific character moments, especially for Jaime and Oscar: Jaime composing her resignation letter; her speech to Oscar; Oscar telling Jaime she’s like family and he loves her; Oscar’s fury at the system that wants to cage Jaime so she doesn’t walk away with government secrets in her mind and on her body; Jaime’s monologue in the coach house as she packs to go on the run (her self-critical spiel as she approaches a mirror reminded me of Val/Verna in the motel on Knots).

Lindsay Wagner and Richard Anderson did perhaps some of their best work in this instalment. With different writing, Oscar's more emotional moments - explicitly talking about loving Jaime; bellowing at a senator for getting Jaime's name wrong while taking about catching her - could have come across as out of character. Instead, it feels that this side of Oscar are entirely natural given his long-term inner conflict. These moments, then, were perhaps inevitable. And they've been a long time coming.

On another level, there's an undercurrent of ending that runs through this episode. Even outside of the story, there's a quiet sadness to the performances which I like to think is informed by the series - and their working relationships - drawing to a close.






continued...
 

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On The Run



(continued)



The episode’s supporting cast is reliable as ever - if a bit thinner than I’d have liked. Rudy’s as solid as always. There’s no big moment for him, but that’s his strength. He grounds the series. Slightly confusingly, Chris is once again Jaime’s lover and there are even flashbacks to their time at a cabin. As I said, he’s fine, but I haven’t got past viewing him as a bargain basement Steve Austin. There’s no Callahan, but we do have a kind of callback with Sarah the slightly dopey doctor from The Antidote who, bizarrely, is covering for Callahan as receptionist.

Obviously we can't have Steve, but the other most notable absences are Helen and Jim Elgin. It seems most untruthful that Jaime would flee without saying goodbye. Even one of them in a cameo would have made the episode just that bit more perfect.

I did appreciate the little nods to the original story of The Bionic Woman from SMDM. Here she accidentally bursts a tennis ball she’s holding, just as she did in that first episode (I may be wrong, but I think these give a bookend with the symmetry between the first bionic thing she did then, and the last here). There’s also a Humpty Dumpty sequence as Jaime imagine’s herself falling from a wall while flashing back to the skydiving accident, which references Steve and Jaime reciting the rhyme while testing her bionic hearing. There’s even a nice slow-mo running sequence as iconic as those of early vintage.

Considering the absence of her teaching work the last couple of seasons, it’s notable that Jaime’s two key turning points of the episode involve her relating to and connecting with children. She’s deeply affected when a girl she’s tasked to protect looks at her in fear and calls her a “robot lady”, bringing on Jaime’s doubts like a tidal wave. In the latter part of the episode, Jaime - now a lonely fugitive - has a conversation with a boy in a park as she sits on a bench. He views his father differently since an accident took his father’s sight and is struggling to connect with him. Coming from her own place of understanding, Jaime is able to convince the boy to treat his father the same as he did before the accident. As she talks, Jaime breaks into almost hysterical laughter and there’s a sense that she’s found her freedom. It’s at this point that the government agents catch up with her, and - rather than fight or flight - Jaime turns herself in with quiet dignity.

Things end with a sense of resolution and compromise, with Jaime returning willingly to the O.S.I. on the condition that she is given time to have a life and teach so that her work with the O.S.I. can mean something. With this comes an implication that Jaime's strength of feeling in this matter has had a profound affect on others in the O.S.I. who have become machines of a different kind to Jaime. In the end what really makes the difference for Jaime and those around her is not her bionics but her humanity and soul.

It may not be absolute closure, but it's enough of a key turning point for Jaime (and indeed, Oscar, Chris and high-ups at O.S.I.) to make this an essential and important episode in the history of the series. And not just because it's the final one. It’s a result for Jaime, of course. But it’s also good news for the audience, because the story has directly addressed many concerns about changes or criticism of changes in direction. It’s shone a light on those criticisms and ended with a sense of resolution and hope. It feels as though the journey we’ve taken has been honoured and acknowledged.

Which makes it well worth the investment.
 

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A good episode which shows you that they're never finished with you once they've got you if you a cybernetic human spy, even if you want to retire! It was left oddly whether Oscar was in on her being confined to a security prison for people the government doesn't want at large or if he was really sympathetic for her cause, he said he was but you never know? Strangely enough Thames TV here in the UK did not play this episode as the last one, leaving that to Rancho Outcast believe it or not? I always loved Max the dog in the third season too! Your analysis of the series was pretty awesome too, Mel, well done!
JB
 
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