Dallas TNT - "Forgiveness"

[Karin Schill]

Thank you everyone for the feedback it's much appreciated!

@superman fan I am glad you found the latest updates excellent.

@stevew you are right, Pam did side with Cliff most of the time on the original show too. I think Bobby even told John Ross that his Pamela always sided with the Barnes over the Ewings since she was a Barnes first on Dallas TNT. It was such a nice scene where he let John Ross know that he understood where he was coming from being a Ewing who loved a Barnes woman.

I agree that Sue Ellen needs to see John Ross for who he is instead of just seeing him as a younger version of his father.
I think there was a nice scene with John Ross and Sue Ellen from the final episode which was deleted where they shared a mother/son moment. They did have a few of those on Dallas TNT but they were few and far between.

@Miss Texas 1967 thanks for the fanfic link. I do hope you will get around to post your Dallas fanfic over here some day too!
I agree that the Ewing family are more fragmented these days now when Miss Ellie is gone. She was the glue that held her family together.

Anyway time for another update.

*

Lucy Ewing Cooper put down her glass of wine and took in the view of the pool. She and Pamela were sitting in some sun chairs in their backyard, catching up on everything that had happened in the last 30 years. The kids had taken off after lunch and were spending the afternoon with their friends and Mitch had brought Afton to have a look at some new sculpture they’d bought for their garden. Mitch had developed quite an interest in art from the time when Lucy still worked at the art gallery and these days he was even more interested in stuff like that than Lucy was. So that had left Lucy and Pam with a lot of time to catch up on their own. “When Afton said you wanted to see me I didn’t quite know what to expect,” Pam said. “But look at you, the years have really agreed with you.”

“Thank you,” Lucy smiled. “You don’t look a day over 60 yourself.”

“Thanks but that’s not what I meant,” Pam said. “I mean this place and Mitch and the kids. You are really living the American dream.”

“Yeah I guess you can say that we’ve made it,” Lucy smiled.

“You really have come a long way from the little girl who used to cut school,” Pam said and Lucy laughed.

“True, I’m so glad that Ellie’s not up to any nonsense like that. She’s surprisingly bright that girl. She’s a straight A student so she’s nothing like I was at that age.”

“Well I can see a little of you in her,” Pam said. “Still I guess she doesn’t have a need to act out considering that her parents are not absent like yours and mine were.”

“That’s a good point,” Lucy nodded in agreement.

“But you have reason to be proud over your kids, both of them,” Pam said.

“Thank you,” Lucy smiled. “I had them late so I had started to wonder if I might not be able to have kids. So they mean the world to me.”

“I can understand that,” Pam said.

“It’s hard to believe that Brad’s 20 already,” Lucy reflected. “It seems like just yesterday he was in diapers!”

“They do grow up fast,” Pam said. “Before long they’ll be getting married and start families of their own and then you’ll be grandma.”

A shadow passed over Lucy’s face, “If I live that long.”

“Why do you say that?” Pam asked. “Of course you will still be here. I mean why wouldn’t you...” Pam’s voice trailed off as she could see the pain in Lucy’s eyes. “Lucy what’s wrong?”

Lucy sighed heavily before she admitted, “I think I’m dying.”

Pam dropped her cheek, “What?”

“I found a lump in my breast,” Lucy confided in Pam.

“Oh Lucy no,” Pam said in a concerned tone of voice. “Is it cancer?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy said, as the tears welled up in her eyes. “I found it two months ago but I’ve been too scared to check it up.”

“But Lucy you have to get checked. I mean if it is cancer you need to fight it.”

“I know but I keep putting it off,” Lucy said. “I remember how I felt when grandma got cancer. So the last thing I want is to put my family through this. I mean it’s Ellie’s senior year so if it’s cancer I’m completely gonna ruin that for her. So I keep thinking that maybe it will go away by itself and if it doesn’t I could have it checked out later when she’s away in college and doesn’t need me as much anymore...”

“That’s the dumbest reasoning I’ve ever heard,” Pam said in a firm tone of voice. “I get that you don’t want to be a burden to your family and that you don’t want to worry them. But if you don’t check it out now you do realize that you might not be here for Ellie’s graduation!”

Her harsh words shook some sense into Lucy who sighed heavily, “You’re right. I’ll call the doctor’s office first thing tomorrow morning and make an appointment.”

“That’s a good girl,” Pam said, “and remember whatever they’ll find you’ve got this okay?”

“Okay,” Lucy nodded, although deep inside she wasn’t feeling as certain of that as she tried to make light of. In fact she was scared senseless and not just of the way her family were going to react, but she was actually afraid of dying. She just loved her life so much and the knowledge that it could all be taken away from her within a year really scared her.

 

[stevew]

I think this is a good point too. I understand Sue Ellen and John Ross have a troubled history in the TNT show but if the family are so fragmented going forward it's almost a question of what's the point? The old Ewing Oil was meant to benefit the family, even when it was unevenly weighted towards one brother or another. It would be nice to see Ewings as one again.

I felt the fundamental problem with Dallas TNT - it should have been the Ewing’s united against a common enemy. The Ewing’s can certainly fight each other but they needed to build the show first.

 

[stevew]

Thank you everyone for the feedback it's much appreciated!

@superman fan I am glad you found the latest updates excellent.

@stevew you are right, Pam did side with Cliff most of the time on the original show too. I think Bobby even told John Ross that his Pamela always sided with the Barnes over the Ewings since she was a Barnes first on Dallas TNT. It was such a nice scene where he let John Ross know that he understood where he was coming from being a Ewing who loved a Barnes woman.

I agree that Sue Ellen needs to see John Ross for who he is instead of just seeing him as a younger version of his father.
I think there was a nice scene with John Ross and Sue Ellen from the final episode which was deleted where they shared a mother/son moment. They did have a few of those on Dallas TNT but they were few and far between.

@Miss Texas 1967 thanks for the fanfic link. I do hope you will get around to post your Dallas fanfic over here some day too!
I agree that the Ewing family are more fragmented these days now when Miss Ellie is gone. She was the glue that held her family together.

Anyway time for another update.

*

Lucy Ewing Cooper put down her glass of wine and took in the view of the pool. She and Pamela were sitting in some sun chairs in their backyard, catching up on everything that had happened in the last 30 years. The kids had taken off after lunch and were spending the afternoon with their friends and Mitch had brought Afton to have a look at some new sculpture they’d bought for their garden. Mitch had developed quite an interest in art from the time when Lucy still worked at the art gallery and these days he was even more interested in stuff like that than Lucy was. So that had left Lucy and Pam with a lot of time to catch up on their own. “When Afton said you wanted to see me I didn’t quite know what to expect,” Pam said. “But look at you, the years have really agreed with you.”

“Thank you,” Lucy smiled. “You don’t look a day over 60 yourself.”

“Thanks but that’s not what I meant,” Pam said. “I mean this place and Mitch and the kids. You are really living the American dream.”

“Yeah I guess you can say that we’ve made it,” Lucy smiled.

“You really have come a long way from the little girl who used to cut school,” Pam said and Lucy laughed.

“True, I’m so glad that Ellie’s not up to any nonsense like that. She’s surprisingly bright that girl. She’s a straight A student so she’s nothing like I was at that age.”

“Well I can see a little of you in her,” Pam said. “Still I guess she doesn’t have a need to act out considering that her parents are not absent like yours and mine were.”

“That’s a good point,” Lucy nodded in agreement.

“But you have reason to be proud over your kids, both of them,” Pam said.

“Thank you,” Lucy smiled. “I had them late so I had started to wonder if I might not be able to have kids. So they mean the world to me.”

“I can understand that,” Pam said.

“It’s hard to believe that Brad’s 20 already,” Lucy reflected. “It seems like just yesterday he was in diapers!”

“They do grow up fast,” Pam said. “Before long they’ll be getting married and start families of their own and then you’ll be grandma.”

A shadow passed over Lucy’s face, “If I live that long.”

“Why do you say that?” Pam asked. “Of course you will still be here. I mean why wouldn’t you...” Pam’s voice trailed off as she could see the pain in Lucy’s eyes. “Lucy what’s wrong?”

Lucy sighed heavily before she admitted, “I think I’m dying.”

Pam dropped her cheek, “What?”

“I found a lump in my breast,” Lucy confided in Pam.

“Oh Lucy no,” Pam said in a concerned tone of voice. “Is it cancer?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy said, as the tears welled up in her eyes. “I found it two months ago but I’ve been too scared to check it up.”

“But Lucy you have to get checked. I mean if it is cancer you need to fight it.”

“I know but I keep putting it off,” Lucy said. “I remember how I felt when grandma got cancer. So the last thing I want is to put my family through this. I mean it’s Ellie’s senior year so if it’s cancer I’m completely gonna ruin that for her. So I keep thinking that maybe it will go away by itself and if it doesn’t I could have it checked out later when she’s away in college and doesn’t need me as much anymore...”

“That’s the dumbest reasoning I’ve ever heard,” Pam said in a firm tone of voice. “I get that you don’t want to be a burden to your family and that you don’t want to worry them. But if you don’t check it out now you do realize that you might not be here for Ellie’s graduation!”

Her harsh words shook some sense into Lucy who sighed heavily, “You’re right. I’ll call the doctor’s office first thing tomorrow morning and make an appointment.”

“That’s a good girl,” Pam said, “and remember whatever they’ll find you’ve got this okay?”

“Okay,” Lucy nodded, although deep inside she wasn’t feeling as certain of that as she tried to make light of. In fact she was scared senseless and not just of the way her family were going to react, but she was actually afraid of dying. She just loved her life so much and the knowledge that it could all be taken away from her within a year really scared her.

Cancer does run in the Ewing family.

 

[Mrs Bobby James Ewing]

Great updates Karin! I love your story so much and I am looking forward to reading about Bobby&Pam’s talk in the future! I hope Bobby is able to get Pam to forgive him for the past and I also hope that Lucy doesn’t have breast cancer because she deserves to live happily ever after with Mitch, their daughter Ellie, and their son Bradley. Please update your story again soon because I can’t wait to find out what happens next with everyone in your story.

 

[Karin Schill]

Thank you for the feedback everyone. It is always appreciated.

@stevew you are right that Dallas TNT lost focus on the Ewings. I think the first season was the best one, but after that the focus shifted away from them. JR's death really changed things. Another problem was that the story was more plotdriven than character driven so it didn't make sense sometimes.

Anyway you are right that cancer runs in the Ewing family so Lucy has every reason to be afraid!
Actually I came up with this plot since I remembered that when Miss Ellie got cancer Lucy was afraid that it meant that she would get it too some day. The "Why me?" scene comes to mind and it was very moving. So I wanted to revisit this plot as it felt like the foundation for it had already been laid on the original show.

@Mrs Bobby James Ewing you don't have to wait all that much longer for Bobby & Pam's talk as it's coming closer. You will also get an answer to if Lucy has cancer or not, quite soon as she will see a doctor now when Pam's encouraged her to do so.

Then now let's more on to tonight's update.

*

Bobby didn’t get a chance to confront Ann about her and Ryland until later that evening. Because when he came back home Ann was nowhere to be found. So he had a drink and waited for her to come home. He sat in the study and he waited and he waited. Then right before dinner she finally arrived back at the house with hurried steps. “Where have you been?” He demanded to know.

“Oh hi Bobby,” Ann smiled uneasily at him, as she hadn’t expected him to be home already, “You’re home early!”

“I asked you a question,” he said before he repeated it, “Where have you been?”

“Oh I went to see Emma,” Ann said nonchalantly and Bobby sighed since he knew what that meant.

“You mean you went to see your ex!” He said bitterly.

“No I went to see Emma,” Ann insisted.

“So what did she say?”

“Nothing,” Ann sighed. “She’s angry with me because I told her father about something she told me in confidence.”

“What?”

“I can’t tell you,” Ann said.

“But you could tell Ryland?”

“He is her father, he had the right to know!”

“And I am your husband so doesn’t that give me the right to know too?” Bobby yelled angrily at her.

“Not in this case,” Ann insisted.

“Fine you just keep lying to me,” Bobby said bitterly. “Since you’ve been doing it so well so far.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Ann argued.

“Right so next thing you’re gonna tell me that you weren’t comforting Harris the other day either!"

Ann crossed her arms, “Who’s told you that?”

“Who do you think?”

“Judith!” Ann spat out the name. “Bobby if I were you I wouldn’t listen to anything that old broad has to say. You know that she hates me.”

“Yes but she’s also surprisingly accurate about some things,” Bobby argued.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that whatever thing you’ve got going with your ex ends now. I don’t want you to see Ryland anymore.”

“But Bobby that’s ridiculous. Nothing’s going on between me and Harris,” she denied it.

“I’m serious Ann, I don’t want you to see Ryland anymore!”

“But how could I do that?” Ann asked. “We have a child together and you know how troubled Emma’s been since the kidnapping.”

“I know but Pam and I have a child together too,” Bobby said.

“Yes that she’s neglected for the past 28 years, I tell you Bobby what kind of mother would do something like that?”

“I don’t know but Christopher has forgiven her. She is a part of his life again and therefore she will be a part of mine whether you like it or not,” Bobby reasoned. “So I need to clear the air with her.”

“He’s forgiven her?” Ann echoed, as she looked stunned. “But how could he do that when the woman abandoned him?”

“How could Emma forgive you?” He countered her question with a question.

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s not like you’ve raised Emma either.”

“But that is different she was kidnapped!”

“Yes by your ex-husband’s mother and he let it happen,” Bobby said. “I want you to remember that when you see him.”

“So you’re going to see Pam?”

“Yes, I need some answers,” he said firmly and Ann sighed in defeat. She really didn’t want Bobby to see Pam but then again she was seeing Ryland behind his back so she wasn’t exactly in a position to forbid him to see her either. Besides maybe Bobby seeing Pam again wasn’t such a bad idea as it would give him a chance to finally get closure once and for all and then he could leave that part of his life in the past where it belonged.

To Be Continued...

 

[Pammy P]

We are getting closer to the reunion. Great stuff

 

[stevew]

Thank you for the feedback everyone. It is always appreciated.

@stevew you are right that Dallas TNT lost focus on the Ewings. I think the first season was the best one, but after that the focus shifted away from them. JR's death really changed things. Another problem was that the story was more plotdriven than character driven so it didn't make sense sometimes.

Anyway you are right that cancer runs in the Ewing family so Lucy has every reason to be afraid!
Actually I came up with this plot since I remembered that when Miss Ellie got cancer Lucy was afraid that it meant that she would get it too some day. The "Why me?" scene comes to mind and it was very moving. So I wanted to revisit this plot as it felt like the foundation for it had already been laid on the original show.

@Mrs Bobby James Ewing you don't have to wait all that much longer for Bobby & Pam's talk as it's coming closer. You will also get an answer to if Lucy has cancer or not, quite soon as she will see a doctor now when Pam's encouraged her to do so.

Then now let's more on to tonight's update.

*

Bobby didn’t get a chance to confront Ann about her and Ryland until later that evening. Because when he came back home Ann was nowhere to be found. So he had a drink and waited for her to come home. He sat in the study and he waited and he waited. Then right before dinner she finally arrived back at the house with hurried steps. “Where have you been?” He demanded to know.

“Oh hi Bobby,” Ann smiled uneasily at him, as she hadn’t expected him to be home already, “You’re home early!”

“I asked you a question,” he said before he repeated it, “Where have you been?”

“Oh I went to see Emma,” Ann said nonchalantly and Bobby sighed since he knew what that meant.

“You mean you went to see your ex!” He said bitterly.

“No I went to see Emma,” Ann insisted.

“So what did she say?”

“Nothing,” Ann sighed. “She’s angry with me because I told her father about something she told me in confidence.”

“What?”

“I can’t tell you,” Ann said.

“But you could tell Ryland?”

“He is her father, he had the right to know!”

“And I am your husband so doesn’t that give me the right to know too?” Bobby yelled angrily at her.

“Not in this case,” Ann insisted.

“Fine you just keep lying to me,” Bobby said bitterly. “Since you’ve been doing it so well so far.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Ann argued.

“Right so next thing you’re gonna tell me that you weren’t comforting Harris the other day either!"

Ann crossed her arms, “Who’s told you that?”

“Who do you think?”

“Judith!” Ann spat out the name. “Bobby if I were you I wouldn’t listen to anything that old broad has to say. You know that she hates me.”

“Yes but she’s also surprisingly accurate about some things,” Bobby argued.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that whatever thing you’ve got going with your ex ends now. I don’t want you to see Ryland anymore.”

“But Bobby that’s ridiculous. Nothing’s going on between me and Harris,” she denied it.

“I’m serious Ann, I don’t want you to see Ryland anymore!”

“But how could I do that?” Ann asked. “We have a child together and you know how troubled Emma’s been since the kidnapping.”

“I know but Pam and I have a child together too,” Bobby said.

“Yes that she’s neglected for the past 28 years, I tell you Bobby what kind of mother would do something like that?”

“I don’t know but Christopher has forgiven her. She is a part of his life again and therefore she will be a part of mine whether you like it or not,” Bobby reasoned. “So I need to clear the air with her.”

“He’s forgiven her?” Ann echoed, as she looked stunned. “But how could he do that when the woman abandoned him?”

“How could Emma forgive you?” He countered her question with a question.

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s not like you’ve raised Emma either.”

“But that is different she was kidnapped!”

“Yes by your ex-husband’s mother and he let it happen,” Bobby said. “I want you to remember that when you see him.”

“So you’re going to see Pam?”

“Yes, I need some answers,” he said firmly and Ann sighed in defeat. She really didn’t want Bobby to see Pam but then again she was seeing Ryland behind his back so she wasn’t exactly in a position to forbid him to see her either. Besides maybe Bobby seeing Pam again wasn’t such a bad idea as it would give him a chance to finally get closure once and for all and then he could leave that part of his life in the past where it belonged.

To Be Continued...

Bobby’s coming to a recognizing with himself.

 

[Miss Texas 1967]

Caught up on a few updates at once again

Bobby manages to land himself in relationships where communication always appears to be difficult. It was a known thing with Pam but he still repeats it with Ann. He's a hothead too which doesn't help. Bobby needs to speak with Pam, that's a given, he needs to hear from her mouth what she felt and how things were in the past. Ann needs to explain to Bobby in a better way why she can't tell him about Emma's situation and why she is spending time with Harris to help Emma. They both need to remember they're married to each other and that should be a bond shouldn't be able to be broken by an encounter with an ex. I also still think there might be merit in Ann and Pam meeting and talking without the hostility they currently have towards each other that isn't actually justified.

Sue Ellen and John Ross are both hurting over the same event, if they could just come together to comfort each other instead of be angry every time they see each other they'd feel better, heal quicker and come out closer at the other end.

Nice seeing Pam and Lucy back together again. I like that we got an actual background for Lucy, having husband and kids grounds her rather than the way she just floated around aimlessly on the TNT show. Sad news about her potential cancer, kind of very Lucy to shy away from the challenge of getting checked, she needed Pam to remind her of everything she could lose by postponing it.

 

[Karin Schill]

Thank you to everyone who's left feedback and/or rated my story. It's much appreciated.

@Pammy P you are right that it won't be long until Bobby and Pam meet again!

@stevew yeah Bobby needs to get the answers that only Pam can provide.

@Sarah have you read this update?

@Miss Texas 1967 you are right about Bobby. He and Pam had communication problems and he and Ann also has communication problems. So it does seem like it's a pattern for him in his relationship. He and Jenna certainly had communication problems too as he didn't even know if he was Charlie's father for ages. So can you think of any communication problem between him and April?

I do seem to remember them sending huge cards to each other to apologize after some argument.

Then as for Bobby & Ann. I have tried to stay true to how they were on Dallas TNT and although they were supposed to be this great love couple they did have a bunch of issues. Lack of trust. Lack of communication, keeping secrets etc.
So I think it's only realistic if these issues still remains in this story.
But yeah I agree with you that they would need to talk to each other more. It's interesting how you keep pushing for a Pam & Ann conversation.

I agree with you about Sue Ellen & John Ross too. They are both hurting from JR's death and do need each other.

I'm glad you like that I have given Lucy a background. I always liked Lucy & Pam's relationship during the first seasons on the show so I figured it would be nice to revisit their friendship. Pam did understand where Lucy was coming from since they had both had absent fathers who drank too much.

Anyway let's move on to tonight's update.

*


Chapter nine



Sue Ellen really hated this time of the day. Maybe it was because when darkness fell over the city it was a reminder of how lonely she was. She had always hated to spend the night alone. When she had been married to JR he had often been out late, screwing one of his mistresses. But at least he had always come home to her eventually, smelling of cheap perfume. She had pretended to be asleep and hadn’t caused a scene. She had hated what he was doing to her and when she had tried to take revenge and have her own affairs she had loathed the woman she’d turned into. All she had ever wanted was a happy marriage. But that had never been in the cards for her. JR had cheated on her and betrayed her and treated her like dirt and yet she couldn’t stop loving him.

She had loved and hated JR Ewing for almost all of her adult life and that hadn’t stopped now when he was gone. The bastard had made her believe that they could have had another chance together before he passed. But he had cheated her out of that chance with him and that was what hurt the most. It wasn’t JR’s fault that he had gotten cancer. But it sure as hell was his fault that he’d never told her. He had been the love of her life and she’d known that JR had loved her too and yet he’d chosen to die alone. She had wanted to be there for him, to nurse him and more than anything to say goodbye to him. But she had never gotten that chance. Instead their final goodbye had taken place at her house where he’d stopped by late one evening on his way to the airport.

She had been sitting curled up in the sofa reading a book when she’d suddenly heard the doorbell ring. She had wondered to herself who it could be at this time of the night. Maybe it was John Ross who’d come to see her to talk business, or maybe Bobby needed to talk to someone about Ann. He was taking her trial really hard. But it turned out that it was neither John Ross nor Bobby, since when she’d opened the door she had been surprised to see JR standing there. Yet she wasn’t exactly disappointed.

“JR!” She’d smiled at him, as she could feel her heart skip a beat from the sight of him.

“Hello darling,” he had smiled his most charming smile at her. “Can I come in?”

“I don’t know it’s late,” Sue Ellen said, as she looked at her watch that showed that it was already past nine.

“This will only take a minute,” JR said. “Please Sue Ellen I really need to talk to you about something important.”

“Alright then,” Sue Ellen said, as she opened her door. “I guess we can talk over a cup of tea.”

“Thank you,” JR smiled at her as he entered her house. Then he’d followed her into the kitchen where they’d got some tea before they’d walked over to her living room where they’d sat down next to each other on the sofa.

“So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?” Sue Ellen asked. “Does this have anything to do with me taking over Elena’s shares in Ewing Energies?”

“So you’ve decided to partner up with John Ross then?” He smiled proudly at her.

“Yeah,” Sue Ellen nodded.

“Good John Ross needs someone he can rely on in his corner,” JR smiled approvingly.

“You’re not jealous?” Sue Ellen asked surprised.

“No why should I be jealous?”

“I don’t know, all these years you’ve always said that you couldn’t wait to work with John Ross and now he’s asked me to be his partner instead,” Sue Ellen said.

“Well the way I see it, Ewing Oil was always a family company so I’m sure there’ll be a place for me too once you’ve taken it over.”

“You sly devil,” she hit him playfully on his arm, “you’ve got it all worked out, haven’t you?”

“Yeah you just wait and see, this is gonna be my masterpiece,” JR smiled wistfully.

“Same old JR,” Sue Ellen sighed.

“Not quite,” JR said. “I’m actually not here to talk about business.”

“Really?” She gave him a surprised look.

“I was hoping we could talk about us,” he said and she could feel herself freeze from his words. A part of her wanted nothing more than to let him back in but another part of her didn’t want her heart broken all over again. So she remained guarded.

“Sorry to disappoint you but there is no us,” Sue Ellen insisted.

“But there used to be,” JR reminded her. “Sue Ellen I know that I haven’t treated you right but I want you to know that I have always loved you.”

Her lip trembled ever so slightly before she sighed, “JR we’ve been over this before...”

“I know, it’s too late for us now,” he said sadly, “But after everything we’ve meant to each other I just wanted to stop by and say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?”

“Yeah I’m flying to Abu Dhabi tonight,” he’d informed her. “I’ve got some unfinished business to take care of over there.”

“I see,” Sue Ellen nodded. “So when will you be back?”

He shifted uncomfortably at that, “It depends.”

“On how things are going?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Anyway I want you to promise to take care of John Ross when I’m gone.”

“You mean you want me to keep an eye on him?” She asked. “Make sure he doesn’t get too involved with Cliff Barnes’s daughter?”

“Well I forgave him for selling me out to that weasel once, but I don’t want to see him turn it into a habit,” JR said. “I don’t want Cliff to have too much influence over our son.”

“And what if he’ll become John Ross father in law?”

“Then God help us,” JR grimaced.

“I know,” Sue Ellen said. “But I think it could really happen.”

“You think he’s that serious about Pamela?”

“Yeah,” Sue Ellen nodded. “He went against your wishes to be with her. He wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t serious about her.”

“I see,” JR sighed before he went quiet.

“What’s the matter JR?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking,” He said.

“About what?”

“About John Ross and Pamela,” JR said. “Maybe there’s a way to win her over. I mean if we could get her to side with us against her father...”

“God you’re evil,” Sue Ellen said.

“I am just looking out for our son. I want what’s best for him.”

“So do I,” Sue Ellen said before she put her tea cup down. “Anyway it’s getting late so I think you’d better go.”

“There’s no chance of me staying the night?” He asked out of the blue and his words made her feel warm and cold at once. Seeing her bottom lip tremble he added, “I mean for old times’ sake?”

She hesitated a moment since there was no denying it that a part of her would always want him. But then she shook her head, “No!” She put up a warning finger to him, “So don’t you even try.”

“Too bad I’ve always loved waking up with you,” JR said.

“I thought you had a plane out tonight?”

“Well the jet could just as easily take off in the morning,” JR winked at her.

“You’re taking the company plane?”

“Yeah, I don’t suppose you’d care to join me?”

“No thanks,” Sue Ellen said.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying now, can you?”

“I guess not,” Sue Ellen said as she stood up. “Anyway let me show you to the door.”

“Okay,” he reluctantly got up and walked after her to the door. There they got standing for a moment.

“So I hope you’ll have a safe journey,” she told him.

“Thank you Sue Ellen,” he smiled sadly at her. “I’m glad you still care.”

“Of course I care,” She said. “You’ll always be John Ross father.”

“Right, he’s still the best thing that came out of our marriage,” he smiled proudly at her and she nodded, before she leant over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She had intended it to be just a nice display of affection but JR had grabbed hold of her arms and refused to let her go. So before she could stop him he had given her a proper goodbye kiss on the mouth. It had caught her by surprise and a part of her had wanted more. But she knew that she couldn’t let him spend the night. It had hurt too much the last time she’d made herself vulnerable to him. So she’d pulled away from him saying firmly, “Safe travels.”

“Take care and I want you to remember that I love you,” he said huskily and his words had gotten to her. But she had not changed her mind about letting him stay.

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye,” She said, as she pushed him towards the door. He had looked a little disappointed and really sad but he had not tried to linger on any longer. Instead he’d taken one long last look at her, as he’d memorized what she looked like, before he’d just left without saying goodbye. He had known then that it was the last time he’d ever see her and it was simply too hard to say goodbye. So he’d just walked off into the night, leaving her behind.

But she had not known then that it would be the last time she’d ever see him. If she had there had been so many other things she had wanted to tell him. Things that had been left unsaid between them. If she had known how little time they’d have left she wouldn’t have wasted it on arguing with him and trying to keep him at a distance. She would have let herself love him instead. She would have given him another chance to be close to her. But she hadn’t known that it would be the last time she ever saw him so instead of being there for him she had pushed him away when he had needed her the most. But back then she had only had their son’s best interest in mind. She might have loved them both but when it came down to a choice between JR and their son, her loyalty lied with her son.

It had hurt her to see how alienated JR and John Ross had become. JR was hurt that John Ross had gone behind his back to see Cliff. Hurt that John Ross was dating Cliff Barnes daughter. She knew him well enough to know that it was painful for him. But she also knew that John Ross was hurting just as badly and that the boy was too young and proud to ever admit that he was wrong. So she had chosen to talk to JR instead to ask him to take the first step. He’d been standing all alone, outside of the courthouse, looking down as John Ross had passed through the metal detectors. He had looked all alone and gloomy and she had decided to give him a piece of her mind. “What the hell is the matter with you JR?”

“I’m sure you’ll fill me in.”

“Is forgiveness beyond you?” She’d asked harshly. “John Ross had his reasons for going to Cliff and if you have to know, I gave him Cliff’s private number,” she’d informed him and his jaw dropped. She could tell that the information had hurt him. But she didn’t care since she’d rather have JR angry with her than with their son. “So if you wanna blame anyone, blame me.”

“Well for the life of me I can’t think of one sensible reason for our boy to go and seek a favor from that bitter old bastard.”

“Fathers’ are supposed to take the high road when it comes to their sons,” she’d lectured him in a no nonsense tone of voice. “Forgive John Ross.” Her words had had the desired effect as JR had chosen to forgive John Ross and they had patched up their relationship before he died, all thanks to her.

It was ironic how she’d asked JR to forgive their son and yet she couldn’t find it in her heart to forgive JR for keeping his illness from her and for robbing her of a proper goodbye. Maybe in time she’d find a way to forgive him. She knew that she needed to do that to truly get closure but right now the loss of him was still too fresh. Yes JR had been gone for over a year now. But the pain of losing him hadn’t subsided yet and as long as she held on to her anger, bitterness and pain she found herself unable to forgive him. She needed to forgive him to heal. She was aware of that but she just wasn’t ready. JR had loved her. But he had had a funny way of showing it as he had constantly hurt her and right now he was hurting her even from the other side of the grave.

 

[stevew]

Thank you to everyone who's left feedback and/or rated my story. It's much appreciated.

@Pammy P you are right that it won't be long until Bobby and Pam meet again!

@stevew yeah Bobby needs to get the answers that only Pam can provide.

@Miss Texas 1967 you are right about Bobby. He and Pam had communication problems and he and Ann also has communication problems. So it does seem like it's a pattern for him in his relationship. He and Jenna certainly had communication problems too as he didn't even know if he was Charlie's father for ages. So can you think of any communication problem between him and April?

I do seem to remember them sending huge cards to each other to apologize after some argument.

Then as for Bobby & Ann. I have tried to stay true to how they were on Dallas TNT and although they were supposed to be this great love couple they did have a bunch of issues. Lack of trust. Lack of communication, keeping secrets etc.
So I think it's only realistic if these issues still remains in this story.
But yeah I agree with you that they would need to talk to each other more. It's interesting how you keep pushing for a Pam & Ann conversation.

I agree with you about Sue Ellen & John Ross too. They are both hurting from JR's death and do need each other.

I'm glad you like that I have given Lucy a background. I always liked Lucy & Pam's relationship during the first seasons on the show so I figured it would be nice to revisit their friendship. Pam did understand where Lucy was coming from since they had both had absent fathers who drank too much.

Anyway let's move on to tonight's update.

*


Chapter nine



Sue Ellen really hated this time of the day. Maybe it was because when darkness fell over the city it was a reminder of how lonely she was. She had always hated to spend the night alone. When she had been married to JR he had often been out late, screwing one of his mistresses. But at least he had always come home to her eventually, smelling of cheap perfume. She had pretended to be asleep and hadn’t caused a scene. She had hated what he was doing to her and when she had tried to take revenge and have her own affairs she had loathed the woman she’d turned into. All she had ever wanted was a happy marriage. But that had never been in the cards for her. JR had cheated on her and betrayed her and treated her like dirt and yet she couldn’t stop loving him.

She had loved and hated JR Ewing for almost all of her adult life and that hadn’t stopped now when he was gone. The bastard had made her believe that they could have had another chance together before he passed. But he had cheated her out of that chance with him and that was what hurt the most. It wasn’t JR’s fault that he had gotten cancer. But it sure as hell was his fault that he’d never told her. He had been the love of her life and she’d known that JR had loved her too and yet he’d chosen to die alone. She had wanted to be there for him, to nurse him and more than anything to say goodbye to him. But she had never gotten that chance. Instead their final goodbye had taken place at her house where he’d stopped by late one evening on his way to the airport.

She had been sitting curled up in the sofa reading a book when she’d suddenly heard the doorbell ring. She had wondered to herself who it could be at this time of the night. Maybe it was John Ross who’d come to see her to talk business, or maybe Bobby needed to talk to someone about Ann. He was taking her trial really hard. But it turned out that it was neither John Ross nor Bobby, since when she’d opened the door she had been surprised to see JR standing there. Yet she wasn’t exactly disappointed.

“JR!” She’d smiled at him, as she could feel her heart skip a beat from the sight of him.

“Hello darling,” he had smiled his most charming smile at her. “Can I come in?”

“I don’t know it’s late,” Sue Ellen said, as she looked at her watch that showed that it was already past nine.

“This will only take a minute,” JR said. “Please Sue Ellen I really need to talk to you about something important.”

“Alright then,” Sue Ellen said, as she opened her door. “I guess we can talk over a cup of tea.”

“Thank you,” JR smiled at her as he entered her house. Then he’d followed her into the kitchen where they’d got some tea before they’d walked over to her living room where they’d sat down next to each other on the sofa.

“So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?” Sue Ellen asked. “Does this have anything to do with me taking over Elena’s shares in Ewing Energies?”

“So you’ve decided to partner up with John Ross then?” He smiled proudly at her.

“Yeah,” Sue Ellen nodded.

“Good John Ross needs someone he can rely on in his corner,” JR smiled approvingly.

“You’re not jealous?” Sue Ellen asked surprised.

“No why should I be jealous?”

“I don’t know, all these years you’ve always said that you couldn’t wait to work with John Ross and now he’s asked me to be his partner instead,” Sue Ellen said.

“Well the way I see it, Ewing Oil was always a family company so I’m sure there’ll be a place for me too once you’ve taken it over.”

“You sly devil,” she hit him playfully on his arm, “you’ve got it all worked out, haven’t you?”

“Yeah you just wait and see, this is gonna be my masterpiece,” JR smiled wistfully.

“Same old JR,” Sue Ellen sighed.

“Not quite,” JR said. “I’m actually not here to talk about business.”

“Really?” She gave him a surprised look.

“I was hoping we could talk about us,” he said and she could feel herself freeze from his words. A part of her wanted nothing more than to let him back in but another part of her didn’t want her heart broken all over again. So she remained guarded.

“Sorry to disappoint you but there is no us,” Sue Ellen insisted.

“But there used to be,” JR reminded her. “Sue Ellen I know that I haven’t treated you right but I want you to know that I have always loved you.”

Her lip trembled ever so slightly before she sighed, “JR we’ve been over this before...”

“I know, it’s too late for us now,” he said sadly, “But after everything we’ve meant to each other I just wanted to stop by and say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?”

“Yeah I’m flying to Abu Dhabi tonight,” he’d informed her. “I’ve got some unfinished business to take care of over there.”

“I see,” Sue Ellen nodded. “So when will you be back?”

He shifted uncomfortably at that, “It depends.”

“On how things are going?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Anyway I want you to promise to take care of John Ross when I’m gone.”

“You mean you want me to keep an eye on him?” She asked. “Make sure he doesn’t get too involved with Cliff Barnes’s daughter?”

“Well I forgave him for selling me out to that weasel once, but I don’t want to see him turn it into a habit,” JR said. “I don’t want Cliff to have too much influence over our son.”

“And what if he’ll become John Ross father in law?”

“Then God help us,” JR grimaced.

“I know,” Sue Ellen said. “But I think it could really happen.”

“You think he’s that serious about Pamela?”

“Yeah,” Sue Ellen nodded. “He went against your wishes to be with her. He wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t serious about her.”

“I see,” JR sighed before he went quiet.

“What’s the matter JR?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking,” He said.

“About what?”

“About John Ross and Pamela,” JR said. “Maybe there’s a way to win her over. I mean if we could get her to side with us against her father...”

“God you’re evil,” Sue Ellen said.

“I am just looking out for our son. I want what’s best for him.”

“So do I,” Sue Ellen said before she put her tea cup down. “Anyway it’s getting late so I think you’d better go.”

“There’s no chance of me staying the night?” He asked out of the blue and his words made her feel warm and cold at once. Seeing her bottom lip tremble he added, “I mean for old times’ sake?”

She hesitated a moment since there was no denying it that a part of her would always want him. But then she shook her head, “No!” She put up a warning finger to him, “So don’t you even try.”

“Too bad I’ve always loved waking up with you,” JR said.

“I thought you had a plane out tonight?”

“Well the jet could just as easily take off in the morning,” JR winked at her.

“You’re taking the company plane?”

“Yeah, I don’t suppose you’d care to join me?”

“No thanks,” Sue Ellen said.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying now, can you?”

“I guess not,” Sue Ellen said as she stood up. “Anyway let me show you to the door.”

“Okay,” he reluctantly got up and walked after her to the door. There they got standing for a moment.

“So I hope you’ll have a safe journey,” she told him.

“Thank you Sue Ellen,” he smiled sadly at her. “I’m glad you still care.”

“Of course I care,” She said. “You’ll always be John Ross father.”

“Right, he’s still the best thing that came out of our marriage,” he smiled proudly at her and she nodded, before she leant over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She had intended it to be just a nice display of affection but JR had grabbed hold of her arms and refused to let her go. So before she could stop him he had given her a proper goodbye kiss on the mouth. It had caught her by surprise and a part of her had wanted more. But she knew that she couldn’t let him spend the night. It had hurt too much the last time she’d made herself vulnerable to him. So she’d pulled away from him saying firmly, “Safe travels.”

“Take care and I want you to remember that I love you,” he said huskily and his words had gotten to her. But she had not changed her mind about letting him stay.

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye,” She said, as she pushed him towards the door. He had looked a little disappointed and really sad but he had not tried to linger on any longer. Instead he’d taken one long last look at her, as he’d memorized what she looked like, before he’d just left without saying goodbye. He had known then that it was the last time he’d ever see her and it was simply too hard to say goodbye. So he’d just walked off into the night, leaving her behind.

But she had not known then that it would be the last time she’d ever see him. If she had there had been so many other things she had wanted to tell him. Things that had been left unsaid between them. If she had known how little time they’d have left she wouldn’t have wasted it on arguing with him and trying to keep him at a distance. She would have let herself love him instead. She would have given him another chance to be close to her. But she hadn’t known that it would be the last time she ever saw him so instead of being there for him she had pushed him away when he had needed her the most. But back then she had only had their son’s best interest in mind. She might have loved them both but when it came down to a choice between JR and their son, her loyalty lied with her son.

It had hurt her to see how alienated JR and John Ross had become. JR was hurt that John Ross had gone behind his back to see Cliff. Hurt that John Ross was dating Cliff Barnes daughter. She knew him well enough to know that it was painful for him. But she also knew that John Ross was hurting just as badly and that the boy was too young and proud to ever admit that he was wrong. So she had chosen to talk to JR instead to ask him to take the first step. He’d been standing all alone, outside of the courthouse, looking down as John Ross had passed through the metal detectors. He had looked all alone and gloomy and she had decided to give him a piece of her mind. “What the hell is the matter with you JR?”

“I’m sure you’ll fill me in.”

“Is forgiveness beyond you?” She’d asked harshly. “John Ross had his reasons for going to Cliff and if you have to know, I gave him Cliff’s private number,” she’d informed him and his jaw dropped. She could tell that the information had hurt him. But she didn’t care since she’d rather have JR angry with her than with their son. “So if you wanna blame anyone, blame me.”

“Well for the life of me I can’t think of one sensible reason for our boy to go and seek a favor from that bitter old bastard.”

“Fathers’ are supposed to take the high road when it comes to their sons,” she’d lectured him in a no nonsense tone of voice. “Forgive John Ross.” Her words had had the desired effect as JR had chosen to forgive John Ross and they had patched up their relationship before he died, all thanks to her.

It was ironic how she’d asked JR to forgive their son and yet she couldn’t find it in her heart to forgive JR for keeping his illness from her and for robbing her of a proper goodbye. Maybe in time she’d find a way to forgive him. She knew that she needed to do that to truly get closure but right now the loss of him was still too fresh. Yes JR had been gone for over a year now. But the pain of losing him hadn’t subsided yet and as long as she held on to her anger, bitterness and pain she found herself unable to forgive him. She needed to forgive him to heal. She was aware of that but she just wasn’t ready. JR had loved her. But he had had a funny way of showing it as he had constantly hurt her and right now he was hurting her even from the other side of the grave.

Beautiful.

The “masterpiece” will always stick in my gut as the greatest failure of JR’s life, like watching the last season of the original over and over again, knowing he left nothing to his son. As a father, that would hurt worse than the cancer. Though I was very glad he thought of Sue Ellen and gave her a piece of his momma’s oil. Still I wished there’d been something of JR left behind, but pain.

 

[Miss Texas 1967]

@Miss Texas 1967 you are right about Bobby. He and Pam had communication problems and he and Ann also has communication problems. So it does seem like it's a pattern for him in his relationship. He and Jenna certainly had communication problems too as he didn't even know if he was Charlie's father for ages. So can you think of any communication problem between him and April?

Bobby telling April he couldn't move on past Pam with any woman and then going for Tammy, Kay, Tracey and Jeanne was a bit off. They did of course have the discussion that because she slept with JR in the past he could never be with her but he definitely used Pam's recent loss as an excuse at points. Then they eventually get together and she had the insecurity when Kay came to town, that was more April than Bobby though. But what was Bobby's problem was when April sold some of her oil fields to help him financially and he was angry because it wasn't manly or whatever. I think Bobby and April had the most problems getting together but when they were together they were ok. Bobby had little problem starting or resuming a relationship with Pam or Jenna. Even in the show after 1 night with Pam during the separation he was sure they were back together lol

 

[Karin Schill]

Thank you everyone for the feedback!

@stevew thanks. I am glad you think the update was beautiful.

I agree with you that JR's masterpiece wasn't very good. I think the writer's wrote themselves into a corner whereas JR was concerned since he was supposed to have come out on top in season two and get it all back. Yet Larry died before they could finish filming the season and therefore they had a problem!
In retrospect it seems like they should have prepared themselves better for the day they lost him. Everyone knew that Larry had cancer and yet it was like nobody wanted to believe that it would actually kill him.

But yes I agree with you that it's a shame that JR couldn't leave much to John Ross. It wasn't like when Jock died and Bobby and JR fought for control over Ewing Oil for a whole year.

@Miss Texas 1967 good point about April selling off those oil fields to Carter McKay. So April and Bobby had communication issues too!
Out of all the women that Bobby dated after Pam disappeared I liked him the best with April and I think we were meant to feel that way too. I think they had already made up their mind to change April's character and make her the next Mrs. Bobby Ewing when Pam disappeared. But they needed to build the romance up slowly for the fans to warm up to them instead of objecting that she wasn't Pam. So they threw in all these other love interest in the meantime, so that April looked like an improvement over them!

Enough said and now on to tonight's update and yes it's the one some of you have been waiting patiently for...

*


Pam had been surprised when it rang on the doorbell since she wasn’t expecting any visitors. For a moment she thought that Afton might have had an appointment that she’d forgotten all about when she’d gone into town this morning. But when she opened the door and saw him standing there on her doorstep, she had to catch her breath, since this visitor was most definitely there to see her.

“Bobby?” It felt strange just saying his name, as she hadn’t had a Bobby in her life for a long time.

“Good morning Pam,” Bobby greeted her before he shifted uncomfortably. She could tell from his pose that he was nervous, as he went on, “Sorry to just drop by like this. But Christopher told me where I could find you.”

“Oh so he told you about the lawsuit, huh?” Pam sighed heavily since she thought she knew why Bobby was there. He must have heard about Josephine’s lawsuit and was probably here to talk her out of it.

But to her surprise Bobby looked questioningly at her, “What lawsuit?”

Realizing her mistake Pam bit her lip nervously, before she decided to drop it, “Never mind. So what brings you here?”

“You,” he replied hoarsely and her heart skipped a beat, “I think it’s about time we clear the air between us.”

“Well in that case, why don’t you come on in?” Pam offered, as she took a step back, so that he could walk through the door. “This could take a while.”

“Yeah,” Bobby nodded. “28 years is a long time to be away from each other.”

“It is,” Pam agreed in a strained tone of voice, “So I think we’d better sit down for this one.”

“Alright,” he agreed, before he followed her into the living room where they sat down on the sofa. It felt odd sitting so close to each other and yet they kept some distance between them, as they were careful not to touch each other. An uncomfortable silence lingered between them and the tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife.

Wanting to break up the mood she enquired, “So how much has Christopher told you?”

“Not much,” Bobby grimaced as this was hard for him to wrap his mind around. “He said you were kidnapped from the hospital and that Katherine was behind it.”

“She was,” Pamela confirmed it in a sad voice. “She was always envious of our love so when I got ill she seized the opportunity to break us up.”

“I still don’t get how she could get away with kidnapping,” Bobby said upset. “I mean I had an armed guard posted outside of your room.”

“Yes but she bribed some doctors to bring me out of the room. The guard just thought I was going to have my bandages removed. So he let them take me. I thought for sure you would realize that Katherine was behind my disappearance. So I waited for days and weeks and months for you to come and rescue me. But you never came.”

Picking up on the accusing tone in her voice he apologized. “I’m sorry about that. If I had known that you were kidnapped...” his voice trailed off as this was very painful for him to talk about. “I thought you wanted to leave me. I mean that letter Katherine wrote was very convincing.”

“Yeah sending you that letter sure was a masterstroke on her part,” Pam snorted. “So what did it say anyway?”

He looked surprised at her, “She didn’t read it to you?”

“No,” Pam shook her head. “She only mentioned it after she’d fooled Cliff that I wanted nothing to do with him thanks to that actress.”

Bobby's eyes narrowed, “What actress?”

“Margaret something,” Pam said. “Katherine hired her to play me. I was sure that Cliff would see that she wasn’t me. But to my horror he never did.”

“So Katherine hired an actress, huh?” Bobby said in a strained voice, as he thought back on the woman he’d briefly dated, who had looked like Pam. Maybe her coming into my life wasn’t a coincidence either? He pondered. After all Cliff said she looked just like Pam post plastic surgery. But if Cliff never saw Pam. He must have seen Jean. Bobby’s mind was working over time.

“Yeah she did, why are you asking?”

“Because I might have had a run in with her myself,” Bobby admitted.

“Don’t tell me you also thought she was me,” Pam groaned.

“Only at first glance,” Bobby sighed, as he didn’t want to discuss how the actress had helped him get over her with Pam. Or well he had thought he had gotten over her at least. But the moment he’d laid eyes on the real Pam again he had known that he’d only been fooling himself all these years as there was still something unfinished between them.

“I knew you would see through her,” Pam said. “Still I never understood why you gave up on me. I mean if you truly loved me...”

Bobby grimaced in pain, “You know I loved you,” Bobby said, A part of me still does, his heart screamed out to him and he had to bite his tongue not to tell her that.

“Then why didn’t you look for me?” Pam looked at him with her sad brown eyes.

Not being able to stand looking into them he looked down, “Because the letter Katherine sent me asked me not to try and find you if I really loved you,” Bobby finally revealed with a heavy sighed.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Wow! Katherine sure was good at manipulating people, playing us out against each other like that,” Pam said in an upset tone of voice.

“She was, I still have the letter if you wanna read it?” Bobby said, as he picked out a letter from inside of his coat pocket.

“You brought the letter?”

“Yeah I thought that it might help you understand why I gave up on you,” Bobby said with a sigh before he handed her the letter. “Why don’t you read it?”

“Okay,” Pam said in an unsteady voice as she opened the letter and began reading it in silence.

“My Darling Bobby,

Please forgive me. I know how I’ve hurt you and Christopher but believe me I’ve done the best thing for all of us. When I saw myself in the mirror, I couldn’t stand the thought of you or Christopher ever seeing me that way. I don’t know if anything can ever be done to help me but I couldn’t stand to destroy our love by having you see me the way I am. You know how much I love you both and if you love me I beg you not to try and find me. Remember me as I was before the accident and take care of our son. The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life is to leave the two of you. Understand that and please let me find the way myself. I love you forever. Pam.”

Observing her reaction, as she read it, he could see her hands start to tremble really bad. She was visibly upset from that. “Oh that bitch! She had no right to!” Pam exclaimed.

“But she did and I feel like such a fool for believing that letter was from you,” Bobby said in a broken voice. “I mean all that wasted time we could have been married.”

Pam shivered when she heard him utter those words as they sounded oddly familiar somehow, “I know,” she said sadly. “Still what hurts the most is all the years that I’ve missed with our son.”

“Yeah that too,” Bobby sighed. “You know Christopher begged me to ignore the letter and try and find you anyway. If only I had listened to him...”

“Well he might have been only six years old but Christopher was right, I wanted to be found!"

“I know that now but I guess I was hurting too much to see it then,” Bobby said. “I was so angry with you for leaving us. I held on to that anger for years until it turned into bitterness. I didn’t think I could ever forgive you for leaving us. So when Christopher told me what had really happened to you it was such a curveball,” Bobby grimaced before he admitted why he was really there. “It made me realize that I am the one who needs your forgiveness.”

She reached out and gently touched his hand, “Forgiveness for what?”

“For being an idiot,” Bobby said, as he took her hand into his. “I mean if I hadn’t believed in that stupid letter we could have been married for almost 30 years now.”

“You think we’d still be married if she hadn’t kidnapped me?”

“Yeah of course, don’t you?” He gave her an intensive look that seemed to burn a whole in her skin.

She withdraw her hand from his as quickly as if she'd actually burnt herself on it. “I don’t know,” She licked her lips nervously. It was a lie and she knew it. In her heart she knew that they would still have been married but she didn’t see any point in telling him that now when he was married to someone else. So she pointed out instead, “I mean you did marry someone else after I’d left you. So apparently I can’t have been all that hard getting over.”

“You have no idea,” he said huskily.

“But I do,” Pam said sadly. “ You see Katherine made sure to throw all the women you were dating in my face. She was taunting me because you had forgotten about me.”

“Oh Pam, I’m sorry if I had known...”

“But you didn’t so let’s just drop it, okay?” She gestured to him with her hand to stop.

“No it’s not okay,” Bobby shook his head. “See I only dated all those women because I was lonely and I swear it took years before I was ready to marry someone else.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me."

“But I want to,” Bobby insisted. “You know as much as I loved April I would never have married her if you hadn’t left me.”

“But you did,” she reminded him.

“I did,” he confirmed, and it got painfully silent between them as they both reflected upon that for a moment.

“You know it’s funny, never once did I think I’d lose you to April,” Pam said in a strained voice, “Jenna maybe. After all she was the mother of your child...”

“Yes and she still pined for me, but I didn’t want to come between her and Ray,” Bobby grimaced. “So I let her go.”

“How noble of you!"

“It was the right thing to do,” Bobby said in a strained tone of voice. “Jenna and Ray have been married for almost 30 years now.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Pam said.

“So do I but it works for them,” Bobby said. “Probably because I gave up my right to see Lucas.”

“You did?” She asked him surprised.

“Yeah my relationship with him was hurting too many people. So it was for the best.”

Pam looked at him in disbelief, “I’m surprised and you’ve never regretted it?”

Bobby went silent for a while, since the truth was that he had regretted it, a lot even. Yet he wasn't sure what good it would do to tell her that. So he just said. “Sometimes but it’s water under the bridge. Lucas knows I’m his real father now but he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He thinks of Ray as his father and he’s got another sister too.”

Pam dropped her chin in surprise, “Ray and Jenna had a child?”

“Yeah a daughter named Katie. She’s about four years younger than Lucas.”

“Good for them,” Pam said. “But you never had any more children?”

“No,” Bobby shook his head. “I wanted to but April died on our honeymoon and when I met Ann we were both older.”

Pam nodded as she realized what that meant. “So you haven’t been married to her for that long then?”

“Nine years,” Bobby said before reminding her. “Which is longer than we were married.”

“I guess it is,” Pam sighed. “My second marriage has also been more successful.”

“That’s right Christopher mentioned something about you getting remarried too!”

“I did,” Pam said. “But that’s different since I had amnesia.”

Bobby felt like someone had punched him in the stomach when he heard that. Since there it was, the last piece of the puzzle. “You did?” He asked surprised, as it all made sense to him now. “So is that why you didn’t return to us after Katherine died?”

“Yes I forgot all about you.”

Her words hurt him more than he’d like to acknowledge, “And then you married someone else?”

“Yeah back in 1991,” Pam sighed.

“Then you’ve been luckier than me,” Bobby said and when Pam gave him a questioning look he went on, “I mean to have a marriage last that long,” he clarified. “So what’s he like?”

“Who?”

“Your husband,” Bobby clarified.

“My husband’s dead.”

Her words shook him to the very core of his being as he had been relieved to learn that Pam was married too. Since that meant that they were both taken and happy with other people. So to hear that she was actually widowed made his heart ache for her. “Oh I’m sorry, I just assumed he didn’t come with you and Josephine to Dallas...”

“No Leone died 4 years ago,” Pam clarified. “Thank God I have Josephine, otherwise I would have been all alone.”

“Josephine lives with you?”

“Yes its customary for a woman to live with her parents until she gets married in the middle east,” Pam explained.

“I see so why don’t you tell me more about your life over there?”

“Alright as long as you’ll fill me in on what’s happened here in Dallas,” Pam said.

“Cliff and Afton haven’t told you?” Bobby asked.

“Only some things. I want to know about you and Christopher and all the things I’ve missed.”

“Like his first wedding?”

“Yeah but why don’t you start with his childhood and teenage years?” Pam suggested.

“Alright, after you left Dallas Christopher met a woman called Lisa Alden. I thought she was good for him so we spent some time together.”

“You dated her?”

“Not romantically,” Bobby denied it. “She was much younger so I thought of her as just a friend. At least until I found out why she’d really come to Dallas. You see it turned out that she was Jeff Faraday’s sister and...” Bobby went on telling Pam about the most important things that had happened in his and Christopher’s life since Pam had left town almost three decades ago and Pam listened with a wistful look on her face. The more she heard the more she come to realize just what she’d missed out on when she’d lost her memory...

 

[Karin Schill]

Pamela Rebecca didn’t have any appetite this morning. She was having a late breakfast all by herself on the Southfork patio, as she was lost in thoughts. She had been trying to figure out a way to tell her husband about the neurofibromatosis ever since she’d had lunch with her mother two days ago. But the first time she’d tried he hadn’t listened and then she hadn’t found a way to broach the subject again. She was afraid of how he’d react to her news. Their marriage had been fragile at best since they’d patched up their relationship after her father’s funeral and she was afraid that John Ross would leave her for another woman once she’d told him about her family’s secret. I wonder if he’ll run back to Emma? Pamela Rebecca pondered. Or maybe he’ll find himself a new mistress? The thought sickened her. That is unless he’s already seeing someone else. He did get home late last night and...

Here Pamela’s train of thoughts were interrupted by the very person that was on her mind, as her husband finally decided to join her at the breakfast table. “Morning darling!” He dutifully kissed her on the cheek, before he sat down next to her.

Pamela gave him a look before she said in a chilly tone of voice, “You got home late last night.”

“Yeah I had a late business appointment,” John Ross said nonchalantly.

“Business or business?” She asked in a jealous tone of voice. She wasn’t sure why she was trying to pick a fight with him. It was almost like if her subconscious mind was trying to push him away since she was afraid of losing him.

“Just business,” John Ross said in an annoyed tone of voice. “I was having a meeting with Judith Ryland if you must know.”

“That late at night?”

“Well she suggested a dinner and drinks. What was I supposed to do, turn the old broad down?”

“You slept with her?” Pamela asked in a jealous tone of voice.

“God no!” John Ross shuddered at the thought. “She’s Emma’s grandmother!”

“Who runs a bordello, so I am sure she has an appetite for young studs like you.”

“Maybe but I ain’t one of her whores,” John Ross said firmly.

“I should hope not,” Pamela said.

“Why so testy today?” John Ross asked. “You aren’t pregnant are you?”

His words felt like a cold shower to Pamela, but it had also given her the opening she had been waiting for. “About that,” she licked her lips nervously. “I think that maybe we should wait with having a baby.”

“What?” John Ross looked surprised. “I thought we were both in agreement that now was the time to have kids.”

“We were but I’ve sort of changed my mind,” Pamela said.

“How come?” John Ross enquired. “Was it because of something I’ve said?”

“Nope,” Pamela shook her head. “I still want a baby, it’s just that I’m scared to after what I found out the other day when I had lunch with my mother.”

“Afton told you not to have a baby?” John Ross gave her a confused look. “But that doesn’t make any sense. I thought your mother wanted grandkids!”

“She does,” Pamela sighed. “It’s just that she reminded me of why my younger brother died before he was two years old!”

“You had a younger brother?” John Ross looked puzzled at her.

“Yeah, didn’t Christopher tell you that he had another cousin?”

“No,” John Ross shrugged his shoulders, “when was this?”

“In the mid 90’s,” Pamela told him.

“Ah around the time my mom and Don had me tucked away at that British boarding school,” John Ross said testily. “It makes sense now!”

“You really hated that school didn’t you?”

“Sure did but you’re changing the subject,” John Ross said. “Why did your little brother die?”

Pamela sighed heavily since this was hard for her to talk about. “Jacob died because he had a disease called neurofibromatosis,” Pamela finally told him, as a tear fell down her cheek.

“Wasn’t that what killed Cliff?”

“Yes,” Pamela nodded, as more tears fell down her cheek, “It’s an hereditary disease, which means that I have it too.”

“But you’re not sick, so are you sure that you have it?”

“Yeah,” Pamela cried. “Mom had me tested for it and I don’t have any symptoms of the disease so I am healthy but I am still a carrier of the disease which means that I can pass it on to my children.”

“Damn!” John Ross cursed, when the penny dropped. “So what you are really telling me is that if you and I have a baby he or she could die before they are two years old?”

“Yeah,” Pamela nodded. “I am so sorry John Ross. But I don’t know if I can have a baby now. Losing the twins almost killed me. So I don’t know if I can go through all that again.”

“That’s just swell, your father is still ruining our lives even from the grave!” John Ross said angrily, before he got up and stormed off without saying another word. He knew that it was childish to lash out like this at Pamela when she was obviously hurting as much as he was. But he was just too upset to deal with this like a man. So he did what he’d always done as a boy. He ran away from the problem. He wasn’t proud of the way he had reacted. But right now he needed some time to digest this and what it might mean for them before he could be strong for his wife. So he left her crying all by herself.

 

[stevew]

Pamela Rebecca didn’t have any appetite this morning. She was having a late breakfast all by herself on the Southfork patio, as she was lost in thoughts. She had been trying to figure out a way to tell her husband about the neurofibromatosis ever since she’d had lunch with her mother two days ago. But the first time she’d tried he hadn’t listened and then she hadn’t found a way to broach the subject again. She was afraid of how he’d react to her news. Their marriage had been fragile at best since they’d patched up their relationship after her father’s funeral and she was afraid that John Ross would leave her for another woman once she’d told him about her family’s secret. I wonder if he’ll run back to Emma? Pamela Rebecca pondered. Or maybe he’ll find himself a new mistress? The thought sickened her. That is unless he’s already seeing someone else. He did get home late last night and...

Here Pamela’s train of thoughts were interrupted by the very person that was on her mind, as her husband finally decided to join her at the breakfast table. “Morning darling!” He dutifully kissed her on the cheek, before he sat down next to her.

Pamela gave him a look before she said in a chilly tone of voice, “You got home late last night.”

“Yeah I had a late business appointment,” John Ross said nonchalantly.

“Business or business?” She asked in a jealous tone of voice. She wasn’t sure why she was trying to pick a fight with him. It was almost like if her subconscious mind was trying to push him away since she was afraid of losing him.

“Just business,” John Ross said in an annoyed tone of voice. “I was having a meeting with Judith Ryland if you must know.”

“That late at night?”

“Well she suggested a dinner and drinks. What was I supposed to do, turn the old broad down?”

“You slept with her?” Pamela asked in a jealous tone of voice.

“God no!” John Ross shuddered at the thought. “She’s Emma’s grandmother!”

“Who runs a bordello, so I am sure she has an appetite for young studs like you.”

“Maybe but I ain’t one of her whores,” John Ross said firmly.

“I should hope not,” Pamela said.

“Why so testy today?” John Ross asked. “You aren’t pregnant are you?”

His words felt like a cold shower to Pamela, but it had also given her the opening she had been waiting for. “About that,” she licked her lips nervously. “I think that maybe we should wait with having a baby.”

“What?” John Ross looked surprised. “I thought we were both in agreement that now was the time to have kids.”

“We were but I’ve sort of changed my mind,” Pamela said.

“How come?” John Ross enquired. “Was it because of something I’ve said?”

“Nope,” Pamela shook her head. “I still want a baby, it’s just that I’m scared to after what I found out the other day when I had lunch with my mother.”

“Afton told you not to have a baby?” John Ross gave her a confused look. “But that doesn’t make any sense. I thought your mother wanted grandkids!”

“She does,” Pamela sighed. “It’s just that she reminded me of why my younger brother died before he was two years old!”

“You had a younger brother?” John Ross looked puzzled at her.

“Yeah, didn’t Christopher tell you that he had another cousin?”

“No,” John Ross shrugged his shoulders, “when was this?”

“In the mid 90’s,” Pamela told him.

“Ah around the time my mom and Don had me tucked away at that British boarding school,” John Ross said testily. “It makes sense now!”

“You really hated that school didn’t you?”

“Sure did but you’re changing the subject,” John Ross said. “Why did your little brother die?”

Pamela sighed heavily since this was hard for her to talk about. “Jacob died because he had a disease called neurofibromatosis,” Pamela finally told him, as a tear fell down her cheek.

“Wasn’t that what killed Cliff?”

“Yes,” Pamela nodded, as more tears fell down her cheek, “It’s an hereditary disease, which means that I have it too.”

“But you’re not sick, so are you sure that you have it?”

“Yeah,” Pamela cried. “Mom had me tested for it and I don’t have any symptoms of the disease so I am healthy but I am still a carrier of the disease which means that I can pass it on to my children.”

“Damn!” John Ross cursed, when the penny dropped. “So what you are really telling me is that if you and I have a baby he or she could die before they are two years old?”

“Yeah,” Pamela nodded. “I am so sorry John Ross. But I don’t know if I can have a baby now. Losing the twins almost killed me. So I don’t know if I can go through all that again.”

“That’s just swell, your father is still ruining our lives even from the grave!” John Ross said angrily, before he got up and stormed off without saying another word. He knew that it was childish to lash out like this at Pamela when she was obviously hurting as much as he was. But he was just too upset to deal with this like a man. So he did what he’d always done as a boy. He ran away from the problem. He wasn’t proud of the way he had reacted. But right now he needed some time to digest this and what it might mean for them before he could be strong for his wife. So he left her crying all by herself.

Shitty of John Ross. He needed a dad like mine. He’d have told him, I get it, but if you’re not old enough to put the other person first, you’re not old enough to be married and you’re certainly not old enough to have kids.

I put a heart but only because there wasn’t a broken heart. Please follow this up soon.

 

[Pammy P]

Brilliant Pam and Bobby scene, well written.

 

[Karin Schill]

Thank you everyone for rating and leaving feedback on my story.

@stevew you are right about John Ross. He is acting like a spoiled brat. He should have been more sensitive to Pamela Rebecca's feelings. But he's not. Then again a lot of people kept saying that Christopher and John Ross acted immature on the Dallas TNT show. So I think it suits with what we saw.
I think your dad is right though. If you have a spouse and kids you need to be able to put someone else before yourself.

@Pammy P I'm glad that you think the Bobby and Pam scene was brilliant.
There's more coming with them later. But first...

*


Emma was still moping on her room when there was a knock on her door, “Emma honey, open the door. It’s your grandma!” Judith cajoled her. “I brought your lunch.”

Judith then waited for about a minute before Emma finally opened the door. “Thanks grandma, what would I do without you?”

“Oh you’d be just fine without me,” Judith said, as she put the food trey down on Emma’s desk. “You’re a strong young woman Emma. I want you to remember that.”

“If I’m such a strong woman why don’t I feel like one?”

“Because you’ve been hurt,” Judith said. “I know you Emma. You’re a liberated woman who’s a free spirit. But if you are playing with fire you sometimes gets burned.”

“What are you getting at?”

“I know what happened in Mexico and it’s about time you pick yourself up and goes on with your life.”

Emma's eyes widened, “Dad’s told you about the rape?”

“No he didn’t have to,” Judith said. “I’ve been around long enough to be able to spot a bird with a broken wing.”

“Is that how you sees me?”

“Yeah," Judith said as she placed her hand on her daughter's cheek, looking her in the eye, "You’ve been hurt Emma and it’s gonna take a while before you’ll learn to fly again but you will.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” Emma asked in small voice.

“Because I’ve seen the look that’s in your eyes too many times before in my girls.”

“But they are prostitutes,” Emma stated the obvious, as she moved away from her grandma.

“Call girls,” Judith corrected her granddaughter. “Still just because they get paid for sex it doesn’t mean that they enjoy everything that the clients does to them. But they always pick themselves back up again after a while and so will you!”

“I can’t believe you compare me to your whores!” Emma yelled.

“Why not when you’ve been sleeping with a married man?”

Her grandma's words cut like a knife because deep down Emma knew that her grandma was right. But she didn't want to admit it. “That was uncalled for. You know John Ross never paid me for sex.”

“I know,” Judith said in her Texas drawl. “I also know that your parents are getting on your nerves right now. So I think I have the perfect cure to your blues!”

Emma gave her a skeptic look, “What’s that?”

“A change of environment,” Judith pointed out. “I know of this nice little ski resort in the Swiss alps that’s still opened for the season.”

“I can’t believe this,” Emma said upset, “You know I’ve been raped and your answer is to send me skiing?”

“Well you don’t have to go of course,” Judith said. “You are free to remain here moping on your room. But I think the fresh air and change of scenery would do you some good.”

“Maybe,” Emma shrugged her shoulders. “I do have some friends in Switzerland that I haven’t seen in a long time.”

“So you’ll go?” Judith asked.

Emma hesitated for another moment as she seemed to think over her options. But all things considered she could see that the offer her grandma had made was the better one. So she gave her grandma her best smile, “Alright I’ll go!”

“That’s a good girl,” Judith said, patting Emma on the head, like if she was a dog and Emma rolled her eyes at her grandma’s over the top gesture. Yet she knew that underneath the surface her grandma was really a lot more caring than one would give her credit for at first glance. She wanted what was best for her granddaughter and right now it was her firm belief that it was a ski trip in the alps. Emma wasn’t as certain that it would do her any good but she was willing to humor her grandma. It was lucky that she did too, as this particular ski trip was about to change Emma’s life forever...

 

[Karin Schill]

Lucy was nervously fiddling with her cross necklace as she sat opposite a doctor, who was sitting behind a desk, going through her journal on a tablet. “Okay so Mrs. Cooper what make you think that the lump might be cancerous?” Doctor Cohen asked. “Does it hurt?”

“No, not really,” Lucy said. “But my grandma had a mastectomy when I was young.”

“I see,” Doctor Cohen nodded.

“Also one of my uncles died of cancer two years ago and my mom’s had a colostomy,” Lucy told him.

“So cancer runs in your family?”

“Yes,” Lucy nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

“Alright then,” Doctor Cohen looked pensive. “From what you’ve told me I think the lump might be benign, but considering your family history I’d still like to do a mammogram and a tissue sample just to make sure.”

“Okay,” Lucy nodded, as she kept praying for the whole thing to go away. She really hoped that she didn’t have cancer and although the doctor seemed optimistic she was still convinced that he was wrong and that she was in fact was dying.

 

[Karin Schill]

Back at Cliff’s house were Bobby and Pam still sitting talking on the sofa in the living room. Hours had passed by since he’d first arrived and by now they’d had lunch together. Not that either one of them had much of an appetite as learning about each other’s lives and all the missing years was a lot to digest all at once and they were both feeling emotionally exhausted by now. They’d spent 28 years apart and in a way they were more like strangers now. They were exes who were starting out from scratch trying to get to know each other again. Yet at the same time there was still a bond between them and some old feelings were still lingering on. It was confusing and heartbreaking and exhilarating all at once. But most of all it was melancholy. Because spending time together like this, just the two of them was a painful reminder of what could have been and of what they’ve missed out on due to other people’s meddling.

“So I think we’ve pretty much covered the most important events of the past 28 years,” Bobby sighed.

“Yeah,” Pam nodded. “Except one thing.”

He gave her a questioning look, “What’s that?”

“You haven’t said a word about Cliff.”

“That’s not true,” Bobby shook his head. “I told you about how he worked with me at Ewing Oil for a while after you disappeared before he and JR started up the damn Barnes-Ewing feud again.”

“You did but that’s not what I need to know,” Pam said.

Bobby tensed from her words, “What are you getting at?”

“I want you to tell me that you didn’t send my brother to jail,” Pam spelled it out to him.

Bobby's face hardened and he looked away since he was unable to look her in the eyes when they talked about this. “I’m sorry but I can’t do that!"

Pam could feel her heart drop when she heard that, “You had something to do with it?”

“I did,” he confirmed.

She could feel a wave of emotions crash over her. She was hurt, she was confused and most of all she was angry. “So John Ross was right, the Bobby Ewing I was married to doesn’t exist anymore!”

“That’s ridiculous Pam. I might be older but I am still the same man!” He said defensively.

“No the Bobby Ewing I loved would never have left my brother to rot in prison. He would have helped him instead!” She argued.

“But Cliff deserved to go to jail!” He argued back.

His words felt like a cold shower to her. She shook her head before she looked at him in disbelief. “God Bobby how can you even think that anyone, even less my brother, deserved to go to jail for a crime he didn’t commit?”

“Take off your rose colored glasses Pam. I know you want to believe the best about your brother but make no mistake, he was no saint. In fact Cliff did commit a crime and therefore he deserved to go to jail!”

“Cliff’s only crime was trusting you. He apparently shouldn’t have done that.”

“You don’t know what he did?” Bobby raised his voice. “He killed my grandchildren and he got away with it. But thanks to JR I found a way to avenge that.”

“JR?”

“Yes it was his idea to send Cliff to jail for his murder.”

“So JR brainwashed you into sending my brother to jail?”

“He didn’t brain wash me. I knew that he was right,” Bobby said. “ See JR told me that if Cliff went to jail it would end this ridiculous Barnes-Ewing feud and it did!”

“You don’t end a feud by framing an innocent man," Pam argued. "You end it by walking away from it!”

“Yes but you and I both know that Cliff would never have done that!”

“That’s a damn lie and you know it. Cliff did exactly that. Or didn’t he have the chance to frame you and JR for a tanker accident once but chose not to?” Pam reminded Bobby.

He stared at her in disbelief, as he hadn’t expected Pam to know about that, “Who told you about that?”

“Cliff did!” She filled him in. “After I rescued him from that Mexican dump you left him to die in!”

“I see. What else did he tell you?” Bobby asked. “Did he poison your mind with his hatred against us Ewings?”

“He didn’t have to!” Pam said. “I’m disgusted by what you did!”

“You can’t mean that!”

“Oh I mean it alright. In fact after what you did to Cliff I don’t even blame him for hating the Ewings. It seems to me like you’ve given him just cause to hate your family!”

“I should have known that you’ll still be siding with your brother against us Ewings!” Bobby said. “But don’t forget that Christopher is a Ewing too!”

“Leave our son out of this. He’s already told me he had nothing to do with sending Cliff to jail.”

“Then he was lying to you,” Bobby said. “Christopher was in on it too.”

“Because you conned him into believing that Cliff had killed JR.”

“Yes but once he found out the truth he was not exactly rushing to Mexico to get his uncle out of jail. Neither was Pamela, because they both wanted this horrible feud to be over with.”

“You can justify what you did all you want, but it still doesn’t change the fact that you sent an innocent man to jail,” Pam said. “A man who used to be your brother in law and who was your son’s uncle at that.”

“I’ve already explained why I did it,” Bobby said. “It was for the best.”

“The best for who?” Pam asked. “For Cliff? For Pamela? For Christopher? Or for You?” Pam questioned his choice. “No the only person who benefited from this was your damn brother but you’re too stubborn to see it!”

“Why can’t you let go of your anger?” Bobby asked. “JR is dead and so is Cliff so what does it matter now who was right or wrong?” Bobby asked. “They are both gone and the feud is buried and dead with them.”

“That’s what you think but this is far from over,” Pam said.

“You can’t be serious!”

“No I’m dead serious,” Pam said angrily. “You came here looking for my forgiveness for giving up on us and I might be able to forgive you for that. But I’m never gonna forgive you for what you did to Cliff!” Pam yelled before she stood up. “Now get the hell out of my brother’s house. Cliff wouldn’t want you here and neither do I!” Pam yelled with angry tears running down her cheeks, before she turned around and rushed off, leaving a stunned Bobby sitting on the sofa looking after her. Seeing how upset Pam was about what he’d done to her brother a part of him wanted to run after her to comfort her. But he left quietly instead since he knew that there was nothing he could say to her that would ease her pain or make this better.

To Be Continued...

 

[stevew]

Back at Cliff’s house were Bobby and Pam still sitting talking on the sofa in the living room. Hours had passed by since he’d first arrived and by now they’d had lunch together. Not that either one of them had much of an appetite as learning about each other’s lives and all the missing years was a lot to digest all at once and they were both feeling emotionally exhausted by now. They’d spent 28 years apart and in a way they were more like strangers now. They were exes who were starting out from scratch trying to get to know each other again. Yet at the same time there was still a bond between them and some old feelings were still lingering on. It was confusing and heartbreaking and exhilarating all at once. But most of all it was melancholy. Because spending time together like this, just the two of them was a painful reminder of what could have been and of what they’ve missed out on due to other people’s meddling.

“So I think we’ve pretty much covered the most important events of the past 28 years,” Bobby sighed.

“Yeah,” Pam nodded. “Except one thing.”

He gave her a questioning look, “What’s that?”

“You haven’t said a word about Cliff.”

“That’s not true,” Bobby shook his head. “I told you about how he worked with me at Ewing Oil for a while after you disappeared before he and JR started up the damn Barnes-Ewing feud again.”

“You did but that’s not what I need to know,” Pam said.

Bobby tensed from her words, “What are you getting at?”

“I want you to tell me that you didn’t send my brother to jail,” Pam spelled it out to him.

Bobby's face hardened and he looked away since he was unable to look her in the eyes when they talked about this. “I’m sorry but I can’t do that!"

Pam could feel her heart drop when she heard that, “You had something to do with it?”

“I did,” he confirmed.

She could feel a wave of emotions crash over her. She was hurt, she was confused and most of all she was angry. “So John Ross was right, the Bobby Ewing I was married to doesn’t exist anymore!”

“That’s ridiculous Pam. I might be older but I am still the same man!” He said defensively.

“No the Bobby Ewing I loved would never have left my brother to rot in prison. He would have helped him instead!” She argued.

“But Cliff deserved to go to jail!” He argued back.

His words felt like a cold shower to her. She shook her head before she looked at him in disbelief. “God Bobby how can you even think that anyone, even less my brother, deserved to go to jail for a crime he didn’t commit?”

“Take off your rose colored glasses Pam. I know you want to believe the best about your brother but make no mistake, he was no saint. In fact Cliff did commit a crime and therefore he deserved to go to jail!”

“Cliff’s only crime was trusting you. He apparently shouldn’t have done that.”

“You don’t know what he did?” Bobby raised his voice. “He killed my grandchildren and he got away with it. But thanks to JR I found a way to avenge that.”

“JR?”

“Yes it was his idea to send Cliff to jail for his murder.”

“So JR brainwashed you into sending my brother to jail?”

“He didn’t brain wash me. I knew that he was right,” Bobby said. “ See JR told me that if Cliff went to jail it would end this ridiculous Barnes-Ewing feud and it did!”

“You don’t end a feud by framing an innocent man," Pam argued. "You end it by walking away from it!”

“Yes but you and I both know that Cliff would never have done that!”

“That’s a damn lie and you know it. Cliff did exactly that. Or didn’t he have the chance to frame you and JR for a tanker accident once but chose not to?” Pam reminded Bobby.

He stared at her in disbelief, as he hadn’t expected Pam to know about that, “Who told you about that?”

“Cliff did!” She filled him in. “After I rescued him from that Mexican dump you left him to die in!”

“I see. What else did he tell you?” Bobby asked. “Did he poison your mind with his hatred against us Ewings?”

“He didn’t have to!” Pam said. “I’m disgusted by what you did!”

“You can’t mean that!”

“Oh I mean it alright. In fact after what you did to Cliff I don’t even blame him for hating the Ewings. It seems to me like you’ve given him just cause to hate your family!”

“I should have known that you’ll still be siding with your brother against us Ewings!” Bobby said. “But don’t forget that Christopher is a Ewing too!”

“Leave our son out of this. He’s already told me he had nothing to do with sending Cliff to jail.”

“Then he was lying to you,” Bobby said. “Christopher was in on it too.”

“Because you conned him into believing that Cliff had killed JR.”

“Yes but once he found out the truth he was not exactly rushing to Mexico to get his uncle out of jail. Neither was Pamela, because they both wanted this horrible feud to be over with.”

“You can justify what you did all you want, but it still doesn’t change the fact that you sent an innocent man to jail,” Pam said. “A man who used to be your brother in law and who was your son’s uncle at that.”

“I’ve already explained why I did it,” Bobby said. “It was for the best.”

“The best for who?” Pam asked. “For Cliff? For Pamela? For Christopher? Or for You?” Pam questioned his choice. “No the only person who benefited from this was your damn brother but you’re too stubborn to see it!”

“Why can’t you let go of your anger?” Bobby asked. “JR is dead and so is Cliff so what does it matter now who was right or wrong?” Bobby asked. “They are both gone and the feud is buried and dead with them.”

“That’s what you think but this is far from over,” Pam said.

“You can’t be serious!”

“No I’m dead serious,” Pam said angrily. “You came here looking for my forgiveness for giving up on us and I might be able to forgive you for that. But I’m never gonna forgive you for what you did to Cliff!” Pam yelled before she stood up. “Now get the hell out of my brother’s house. Cliff wouldn’t want you here and neither do I!” Pam yelled with angry tears running down her cheeks, before she turned around and rushed off, leaving a stunned Bobby sitting on the sofa looking after her. Seeing how upset Pam was about what he’d done to her brother a part of him wanted to run after her to comfort her. But he left quietly instead since he knew that there was nothing he could say to her that would ease her pain or make this better.

To Be Continued...

I’m curious, why Pam didn’t confront Bobby with Cliff’s illness? Bobby still fills justified in what he did, but maybe less so or not at all if he knew about Cliff being ill. He certainly has a new enemy.

 

[Karin Schill]

Thank you for the feedback @stevew .
You raise a good point about why she didn't throw Cliff's illness in Bobby's face. I'm not sure why I didn't use that when I wrote the scene. But Bobby does know that neurofibromatosis is what killed Cliff. But yeah I figured it would be unrealistic if Pam would just fall back into Bobby's arms after everything that has happened. Bobby definitely crossed a line when he sent Cliff to jail and it makes sense that Pam is furious with him for doing that to her brother. I'm not sure if I would stretch it as far as to say that they are enemies. But they are definitely on opposite sides of the Barnes-Ewing feud!

*


Chapter ten


When Ann had gotten Harris call she’d been terrified that her daughter might have done something stupid, like overdosing on pills or trying to commit suicide by slitting her wrists. Ann didn’t think her daughter was capable of doing something like that. But she knew that her daughter was hurting and since she hadn’t watched her grow up she didn’t know her as well as she should have. So there was always a chance that she might have been wrong about her. She had been wrong about Pamela Rebecca. Ever since Pamela Rebecca had tried to commit suicide last year she’d learnt that even strong girls could have moments of weaknesses. In Emma’s case her weaknesses were men and pills. She really was her mother’s daughter in that sense, as Ann had had her own issues with drug addiction. It had taken her a long time to get clean, so she knew better than anyone which demons Emma was fighting. So when Harris hadn’t told her what was going on over the phone she had feared the worst. But when she arrived at the house she soon realized that she had worried about nothing.

“Hi Ann!” Harris smiled smugly at her. “Look who’s decided to come out of her room?”

“Hi mom!” Emma smiled sweetly at her.

“Oh Emma!” Ann cried relieved as she threw her arms around her daughter and pulled her into a big hug. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Don’t be,” Emma said. “What happened wasn’t your fault and I am going to be okay.”

“So you will see my shrink?” Ann asked.

“Why am I not surprised that you need a shrink,” a voice came from the door and when Ann turned around she was not happy to see Judith standing there. “After all you’ve always been a basket case!”

“Judith,” Ann acknowledged the woman. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” Judith asked. “But soon the real question is gonna be what are you doing here.”

“You know I am here to see Emma,” Ann said.

“I know,” Judith said. “But soon you’re gonna have to go elsewhere to see your daughter.”

“What are you talking about?” Ann asked. “You can’t take my daughter away from me again. She knows me now.”

“Yes and I am sure Emma won’t mind you visiting her,” Judith said.

“What are you talking about?” Ann asked in an upset tone of voice.

“I’m taking Emma on a vacation,” Judith smiled.

“Emma, is this true?” Ann asked.

“Yeah grandma has offered to take me skiing in the alps,” Emma said. “We’re leaving this afternoon.”

“You’re going on a vacation with her?” Ann asked.

“Well I’m not gonna stay the whole time,” Judith said. “After all I do have business to attend to here in Dallas.”

“Grandma is just getting me installed at the resort,” Emma said. “She’s promised to make herself scarce once I’ve met up with some friends later this week.”

“Emma went to a boarding school in Switzerland so she has lots of friends over there,” Harris informed Ann.

“I thought it might do her some good to catch up with them,” Judith said. “She’s been so lonely since she came here to Dallas.”

“Well good,” Ann nodded. “I didn’t think I’d say this Judith, but I think this is the first time you and I agree on something.”

“I’m not doing this to please you. I am doing this for my granddaughter,” Judith said with a drawl before turning to her granddaughter. “Emma why don’t you say goodbye to your parents. We need to get going now.”

“Okay,” Emma smiled before she turned to her mom, “Bye mom and don’t worry about me, I will be fine.”

“I know,” Ann smiled. “But promise to call me when you’ll get there okay?”

“I will,” Emma smiled before she gave her mother a hug. She then turned to her father and hugged him too. “Bye daddy!”

“Bye Emma, have a good time and try to stay out of trouble, you hear?”

“Okay,” Emma smiled at her father before she turned around to leave with her grandmother.

“Oh and Ann, I trust I won’t be seeing you around here once I get back!” Judith faked a smile at the woman who she despised.

“Bye mother,” Harris just said, as he was eager to get the woman out of his hair.

Judith then left them alone and as soon as she was gone Ann turned to Harris with a smile on her face, “I don’t get why you sounded so worked up on the phone. Emma’s going to see her friends is a good thing, isn’t it?”

“It depends on how you look at it,” Harris said. “You see those friends are all doing cocaine and party all weekend but if you think that’s the right crowd for Emma...”

Ann's face paled when she heard that. “Oh My God you’re right, if she hangs out with them she’ll probably start using again!”

“That’s my concern yes,” Harris said.

“We’d better tell her not to go,” Ann said and made a motion to run after her but Harris stopped her by grabbing hold of her arm.

“No Annie!” He insisted. “We can’t do that.”

“But it’s our daughter and I don’t want her to start using again!”

“I don’t either and I’m just as worried as you are,” Harris said. “But if we try to stop her from going she’s just going to get mad because we don’t trust her and then she’ll go with mother anyway.”

“You’re right," Ann sighed. "But what are we going to do?”

“I will send out a private eye to keep an eye on her,” Harris informed Ann. “He will watch her from a distance and the moment there’s cause to worry I will be on the first flight to Switzerland, alright?”

“Alright but I don’t like it.”

“I don’t either but don’t worry I’ve got this,” Harris said reassuringly as he pulled Ann into another hug and all Ann could do was hold onto him. It was strange but over the past two years her hatred for Harris had evaporated and been replaced by another feeling. She wouldn’t call it love. But she certainly remembered why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place now and she’d grown to trust him again.