The prognosis on Alexis is not as bad as it looked: the doc claims she has superficial damage to her face and throat and will need skin grafts, etc. Luckily (!?!) Adam had been there to perform first aid after her drunken fall into the fireplace. Blake and Fallon think such a thing is perfectly in character for Alexis and seem particularly unconcerned.
Adam (right by her side, naturally) suggests she should not make matters worse by speaking, if you know what I mean. She kind of grunts and gesticulates but nothing else.
Contemporary Metro does quite the hatchet job on Fallon, and the family by extension. So Fallon proposes a memoir (she's 26!) to counter all the bad publicity. A series of uncomfortable questions from a ghost-writer ends with the writer getting fired---and Fallon chugging whisky straight from the bottle. She ends up writing eight chapters herself--I can just imagine the humble-bragging involved in that.
Pressured to visit her father in Mexico, Cristal tells him to pound sand. But daddy sends her brother (cue hottie alert) to pressure her into putting a 'family friend' Carlos on the soccer team. She knows it's another attempt to get his hooks into her, but she hands off Carlos's file to Blake anyway.
Alexis has a white-board and Jeff comes to visit---but before she can write anything, Adam pops up again. Jeff wants to take her home to recuperate at his house, but Adam tries to talk him out of it (even hugging him). I sense seeds being planted for Alexis to become the Widow Colby. The stand-in lady is earning that paycheck, I gotta admit.
Blake manages to get the State of Georgia to re-instate Adam's medical license to be a lower-level doc on the soccer team's medical staff. Dr. Adam wastes no time hacking into the Chief Doctor's computer. Seems the 'top doc' has a cache of 'spank-bank' photos of his secretary, and even Fallon....creating quite the dumpster fire (oops, sorry Alexis). I'm guessing Adam planted at least one of them. So Adam is now the Chief Doctor for the team. Only there isn't a team yet.
Fallon is rattling on and on about her problems as her critically-injured mother sits there as a captive audience. Quite a unique level of self-absorption in that room. She even refers to Alexis as "mummy" without irony.
Sam ends up in a strip joint (ew, girls...) with Cristal's brother, and the alcohol loosens the brother's lips enough to give Sam the idea that Cristal's family is bad news. Sam hates having to "entertain" Cristal's brother, so when the Carlos thing goes down in flames (oops, sorry Alexis), she tells Sam his babysitting duties are now over.
Fallon suggests Adam kiss Blake on the mouth--"I'm sure he would love that."
The real man-on-man kissing at the party, however, is Cristal's brother and some random dude. Sam walks in and....well, the ice is definitely broken. Sam assures him it's all right--even mentions Aunt Celia!--and urges him to make nice with Cristal. The brother gives her some kind of file that has pictures of the Carringtons, claiming he's not going to hurt anyone and instead he'll stall their father.
Fallon goes to the publisher who's been jerking her around and announces the biggest jerk of all...oh,wait, that didn't come out right. She announces that she bought the publishing company out from under the guy. And guess which would-be author shows up to express his shock over the change of management?
Adam gives the nurse a photograph that Alexis wants the plastic surgeon to use "as a guide". The nurse looks kind of skeptical. Hope it's not Joan Van Ark.
