Siri (and counterparts)

Alexis

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I got thrown out of a mates house over Christmas for being drunk and asking Alexa rude questions. I think I may have propositioned her.
 

Richard Channing

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I got thrown out of a mates house over Christmas for being drunk and asking Alexa rude questions. I think I may have propositioned her.
Let's hope she doesn't go public about this harassment. Your career could be on the line.
 

J. R.'s Piece

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I got thrown out of a mates house over Christmas for being drunk and asking Alexa rude questions. I think I may have propositioned her.
I accidentally did that with Siri and it responded with "That is both inappropriate and irrelevant". Then it said that it's End User Licence Agreement didn't cover it's compliance with what I had suggested. Then it explained that it had to do CrossFit. I did accidentally ask Cortana the same thing and it said, "Hold up. Let's not go there. Oh I bet you say that to all the AI's! I don't think that's in the cards for us. Love is one of those emotions I've never grasped. I like you loads though! There's definitely a spark between us. I'll need quite a few upgrades before I can give you a heartfelt answer. I appreciate your attraction to my intelligence, but keep in mind it's artificial."
 
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J. R.'s Piece

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I tried to innocently dictate an item on the shopping list. Siri misheard my air freshener listing as “what should I wear ladies pants to the shopping list”. Then Siri replied, “You don’t have to get dressed up for me”.
 

J. R.'s Piece

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Google Assistant has been getting very close to me recently.
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J. R.'s Piece

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I got thrown out of a mates house over Christmas for being drunk and asking Alexa rude questions. I think I may have propositioned her.
I accidentally did the same thing with Google Assistant after I’d walked out on Siri.
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J. R.'s Piece

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When I said goodnight to Google Assistant, it started playing birdsong sounds to help me off to sleep. When I asked if it had other sounds, it played rainfall sounds.
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J. R.'s Piece

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Just to satisfy my curiosity...

  1. How often (if at all) do you use it?
  2. What do you use it for
I find them useful in that I might say that I’m feeling sleepy and the assistant will suggest that I get some rest, say something nice about sleep and creativity, offer to play me some sounds to help me sleep, suggest tips for getting a good night’s sleep and suggest different tea and herb concoctions to help me to sleep.
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All I have to do is ask it what is in the news and it gives me a summary of the news headlines. Including audio. I get my weather reports by asking for it and it plays or suggests videos on my verbal request.
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I also get cooking information.
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J. R.'s Piece

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I have Siri, Cortana and Google Assistant installed on my phone. I find it helps me to relate to Louis Loveday’s three-timing on Hollyoaks. He is currently engaged to his fiancée (his youngest son’s mother and his eldest son’s ex-girlfriend) but is also secretly married to his former sister-in-law, while he is still having secret sex with his ex-wife, who doesn’t know that she is now his sister-in-law. And he has promised himself to all three. What could possibly go wrong?
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