Jabari Lamar
Telly Talk Fan
In the 8o's men were just men, nowadays I suppose stalker would be a better description that predator.
But he definitely stalked Pam.
In recent years it's become more noticeable how a lot of pop culture has often betrayed a lot of questionable behavior, including what could also often be defined as stalking and even sexual assault, as "romantic." A lot of films and TV shows, including many of my favorites growing up, often portrayed the message that if you're a man (or boy) and a girl or woman turns you down then they way to win her back is just keep going after her, including following her around if you have to, no matter many times she continues to say no, until she eventually breaks down and gives you another chance (which she will, because you're destined to be together).
Valley Girl with Nic Cage, when she dumps he literally follows her including to when she's at the movies and a restaurant with her ex-boyfriend whom she dumped him to get back with, and camps out in a sleeping bag outside of her bedroom window, and then crashes her prom which, again, she's at with her boyfriend, and it works! She takes him back.
Say Anything with John Cusack. Diane dumps Lloyd, so he repeatedly calls her despite her never replying, and stands outside her bedroom window holding up his boombox playing the song that had been on the car radio when they first had sex. In real life, this sort of behavior is creepy as shit, but in the movies it shows how much he loves her.
Or there's Louis in Revenge of The Nerds, who tricks the popular girl (whom he'd already previous spied on and sold nude pictures of against her knowledge) into having sex with him by wearing a Darth Vader mask so she thinks he's her boyfriend. But when he takes the mask off afterword, instead of being horrified that she was just raped (because that's what that is), she's totally fine with it, because the sex was really good. Gee, no bad messages there.
Or a more recent example, Jim and Pam in the Office, often held up as an admirable couple, but they were coworkers whom Jim didn't tell Pam that he had feelings for her until after she got engaged to another man. And when she turned him down and said she just likes him as friend, he just grabs her and kisses her (also legally sexual assault) and boom, she's ready to dump her fiancé and get with him instead.
And there's a bajillion other examples out there. And this has affected the attitudes of lots of men, and women (note in Say Anything when Lloyd declares that he's done calling Diane she's ignored his previous 7 phone calls it's his female friends who tell him to "be a man" and call her again). I used to participate often in the dating and relationship advice forums on Reddit, and let me tell, at least half submissions from men were some variation of "she turned me down but I still want her, how do I get her to change her mind" or "how long should I wait before I try again?" The idea of, y'know, just respecting her boundaries and accepting that she's not interested and moving on with your life doesn't even occur to them. And that's because they've been inundated with multiple message from the media that "real men" don't take no for answer, that you're supposed to continue pursuing the girl of your dreams, because most women just don't know what they really want anyway.
So, yeah, back on topic, Mark Grayson sucked.
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