Catweazle- SERIES 1 FINAL EPISODE s01e13 - The Trickery Lantern.

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Catweazle, a magician of black arts from 1066, trapped in 1970 England, befriended by Carrot, a boy living with his dad on a farm, finally believes he has found the way to get home.
Recently two events have changed Catweazle's immediate future. He has lost his water tower home in the woods after Carrot's dad George ordered Sam the farmhand to lash a plank of wood up against the ladder leading up to the tower after Carrot was discovered in the tower. Meaning Catweazle has now been hidden by Carrot on the farm itself, in the hayloft. Secondly Catweazle has realised water, ie the lake is the way home. He came by water and surely that can carry him home.
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Catweazle is at the lake's edge, holding his toad Touchwood.
C " see Touchwood, it is the way we came, and the way back. And yet I fear it, so cold so deep. Courage....courage Catweazle, come Touchwood "
He slowly wades into the water, walking knee deep, then stops.
C " what of the evil Normans? A magic weapon. I will beg one from the young sorcerer...( smiles)...a magic weapon"
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Sam and Carrot are in the barn, Carrot is showing Sam an electric lantern, a powerful torch, the beam of light shining as Carrot demonstrates it.
Ct " it's got a terrific beam"
S " your dad will like that "
Ct " hope so"
S " how's his foot"
Ct " not hurting so much "
S " when's the doctor coming?"
Ct " should be here now, said he'd be here after lunch "
S " time that old fella give it up if you ask me, your dad would do better calling a vet. :D"
Neil McCarthy and Robin Davies are Sam and Carrot.
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George Bennett is in bed, foot in plaster, attended to by Flo, carrying a tray with a cup of tea on it.
F " anything else dear?"
G " yes, I want to get up"
F " oh dear, you were just like this with chicken pox."
G " chicken pox?"
F " when you were nine "
G " nine?..really Flo you can't possibly remember that "
F " I can, of course I can George, mother let me stay up and read you Treasure Island. And it was then that I first saw the Hexwood ghost, don't you remember?"
G " oh yes...the Hexwood ghost..er..Flo?"
F " yes dear?"
G " thanks for coming down "
F " well one can't desert a brother when he's put a fork through his foot"
Bud Tingwell is George, Hilda Braid is Flo.
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Catweazle has climbed down from the hayloft, the upper tier of the barn, out of a side hatch, down a ladder and into the yard. Carefully making sure he is not seen, he runs into an outhouse, where Sam keeps various tools for the farm. Catweazle looks for his " magic weapon ", he sees a welding helmet, and picks it up in awe.
C " the helmet of Barackiac "
He puts helmet on and leaves outhouse.

Geoffrey Bayldon is Catweazle.
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In the farmhouse kitchen, Flo is busy icing a cake, when Carrot enters carrying a cardboard box with the lantern in it in one hand and a small milk churn in the other.
Ct " here it is "
F " thank you dear"
Flo takes churn over to kitchen sink and looks out of window and let's out a deep breath " aaahhh"
Catweazle is in the centre of the yard ,welding helmet on.
Ct " what's the matter?"
F " sorry dear I've seen it again "
Ct " seen what?"
The doorbell suddenly rings,
F " that'll be the doctor "
Flo leaves, Carrot goes over to window just in time to see Catweazle removing helmet and running back to hayloft.
 

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George in bed reading when there's a knock on the door.
G " come in"
F " George it's the doctor"
G " come in old chap "
Flo enters with a pretty female doctor much to George's surprise.
J " hello Mr. Bennett I'm Jane Matthews "
G " er...how do you do"
J " didn't Doctor Bullfinch tell you"
G "no, what"
J " I'm his new partner "
G " oh..I see"
J " he doesn't seem to have mentioned I was coming to anyone "
G " well...he is getting bit vague isn't he?"
J " yes...now then let's have a look at that foot"
Eileen Moore is Dr Jane Matthews.
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Carrot carrying his cardboard box, has joined Catweazle in the hayloft and is rather angry.
Ct " what have you been up to. I thought I told you to stay away from the yard. ( grabs helmet)..that's Sam's "
C " it is to protect me"
Ct " what else have you pinched?"
Carrot sees an old mail sack,, its full of stuff Catweazle has collected, he goes to look inside it, Catweazle grabs it.
C " tis mine...tis mine all mine"
Carrot grabs it back and pulls out of it a bicycle pump.
Ct " so that's where it went. I've been looking for this everywhere "
C " give it to me "
Ct " only if you promise to keep away from the house and stop pinching "
C " soon I shall be gone"
Ct " that's not a bad idea"
Carrot takes a banana out of his back pocket,
Ct " here"
C " aha....thank you "
Catweazle starts eating,
Ct " where?"
C " what sayest thou?"
Ct " where are you going?"
C " back to my own time , ( points to box)..what has thou there?"
Ct " dad's birthday present "
Carrot takes lantern out of box and switches it on, Catweazle in awe as the beam of light plays around loft.
C " electrickery?"
Ct " yes that's right....here"
Catweazle takes light and sweeps arc beam around loft. Then shines it in Carrot's face.
Ct ( shielding eyes) " hey...careful "
Catweazle looks in awe at Carrot flinching from light.
C " it will drive away the Normans "
Carrot takes light back,
Ct " careful don't want it broken "
C " give it to me "
Ct " course not, it's for dad"
C " I beg thee"
Ct " no Catweazle "
C " I beseech thee"
Carrot puts lantern away in box"
C " art thou my brother?"
Ct " wish you stopped calling me your brother, you're too old to be my brother "
C " come I will bargain with thee"
Ct " oh no,I'm not swapping "
Catweazle pulls slipper out of sack.
C " see"
Ct " you've got a nerve.....that's mine!"
C " tis mine"
Ct " hand it over......I'm going to have a good sort through this lot"
Carrot takes sack,
C ( angry) "thou jackdaw "
Ct " look who's talking, don't worry you'll get it back, I don't want your stuff. I keep you out of trouble, clothe you, feed you, look after you, then you turn round and pinch half my things"
Ct ( shouts) " go go! Before I blast thee "
Ct " alright I will "
Carrot puts box in sack then picks up sack and starts climbing down ladder to yard.
C " YOU ARE A NOTHING I SEE YOU NOT"
Ct " GO JUMP IN A LAKE!!"
When Catweazle is alone,
C " aye thy young fox I will, when I have thy trickery lantern "
 

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Carrot enters kitchen carrying sack, Flo is once again finishing icing her cake.
F " what have you got there dear?"
Ct " dad's birthday present "
F " it's very large"
Ct " I've got other bits and pieces too"
Catweazle opens hayloft hatch and climbs down. He creeps quietly into kitchen, passed the unsuspecting Flo busy at her cake, and into hallway. He is about to climb stairs when he hears voices , he opens closest door, the tv room, and hides. Carrot and Doctor Matthews come down and meet Flo walking along hallway.
Ct " just taking the doctor to Heather Cottage "
F " Heather Cottage, oh yes they used to keep bees there.
Ct " they still do"
F " why don't you come back and have some tea with us?".
J " thanks as a matter of fact I've just been asked"
F " splendid "
Carrot and Jane leave as does Flo. Catweazle opens door of tv room and slowly climbs stairs. Flo stops her walk back to the kitchen, a feeling she has,she returns to hall, just in time to see Catweazle going upstairs, she follows .

Catweazle is in Carrot's bedroom looking for lantern, Flo enters.
F ( excited) " oh...I knew you were here....After all these years"
Catweazle takes out his witch knife and waves it about and says words in Latin.
F " I can hear you...( joyfully)..I can really hear you "
C " I am invisible "
F " no you're not , it's a beautiful materialisation "
C " invisible "
F " I can't even see through you, you are clever"
Catweazle dejectedly puts knife away back in sheath around his neck.
C " nothing works "
F " don't say that, I'm here to help"
C " help?"
F " you poor earthbound thing you"
C " I must return "
F " yes you must, you really must. It's horrid for you stuck here like this. You've been on the astral plane for too long"
C " I have nowhere "
F " I know, it's terribly bad for you. You've always been so shy before, I've seen you several times since I was a girl. And there was that time with that nun one Christmas in the cellar. I don't suppose you bump into her often."
C " where is the boy?"
F " do you mean Edward?"
C " our paths have divided "
F " has he seen you?".
C " many times "
F " oh...must run in the family "
C " where is the magic lantern?"
F " it was thrown out"
C " what sayest thou?"
F " wasn't very safe, blew all the fuses. Fancy you remembering that, must be all of forty years ago. Still I suppose time doesn't mean much to you"
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Catweazle moves closer to Flo.
C " harken to me"
F " yes?"
C " soon I shall be gone"
F " you mean forever ?"
C " aye"
Sam is heard from landing,
S " Miss Bennett "
F " that's Sam, don't vanish yet"
Flo leaves to see Sam outside on the landing.
S " could I see the boss ?"
F " ssshhh....ssshhh "
S " sorry?"
F "I've got something to show you, empty your mind"
S " eh?"
F " it will be very vague "
S " what will?"
Flo leads Sam into Carrot's bedroom, but of Catweazle there is no sign.
F "..oh ...he's gone"
S " Carrot?"
F " no Sam, the ghost "
S " oh, you've been seeing him again Miss Bennett "
Catweazle is still there, hiding under the bed.
F " we had a long talk"
S " erm..that's very nice"
F " we did Sam , we really did"
S " I gotta see the boss"
Sam knocks on door and enters George Bennett's room.
S " Mr Bennett, about the separator, I reckon this could be the problem"
He hands George a small machine part, they both study it.
F " I've been talking to the ghost George in Carrot's bedroom "
G ( examining part) "yes you could be right Sam "
F " it was as real as real. I'm sure he'll bring us luck "
George and Sam continue to natter.
F ( shouts upset) " oh GEORGE!! You never listen "
G " er Flo..call us when tea is ready, I'm coming down "
 

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Catweazle meanwhile has found the lantern in its box, he then sees his crystal ball on a table that Carrot confiscated when he took the sack. Catweazle smiles, he has an idea.

In the dining room Flo is laying the table when Carrot and Dr. Matthews come in.
F " you didn't tell me you naughty boy"
Ct " what about?"
F " you're friend the ghost, I followed him upstairs to your bedroom Edward"
Ct ( alarmed) " excuse me"
Carrot runs out.
Carrot enters the bedroom and immediately sees Catweazle under the bed, he lies down facing him
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Ct " I'M FED UP WITH YOU! breaking and entering, pretending to be a ghost.
I said you could have your things back, couldn't you wait "
C " I will go,I will go"
Sam's voice " Carrot "
Ct " Sam?"
S " your dad's coming down for tea, can you give me a hand"
Ct " okay Sam, shan't be a sec. Listen Catweazle wait until we're all having tea, then creep out through the front door. Find somewhere else to live, the Welsh mountains anywhere, ( firmly) but keep away from this house"
Carrot picks up his cardboard box and leaves. Catweazle, very upset, almost whines, his friend Carrot, not friendly now. :cry:
 
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All are having tea in the dining room Flo lights the candles on the birthday cake.
F " 41,42 43,44, and 45"
Everyone claps, Sam stands and gives his present to George.
S " here you are Mr Bennett "
G " that's very nice of you Sam"
He opens it to reveal a copper machine part that goes in one of the farm machinery.
Ct " he made it himself "
J " did you really?"
G " I always thought you should be an engineer, thank you Sam."
Flo gives her present, George opens it, to reveal a knitted jumper, a very very large one"
F " many happy returns dear, I do hope I've made it big enough "
G ( laughs) " yes I think so Flo, thank you"
Carrot puts his box down in front of his dad.
G " gosh what's this"
Ct "it's for the farm, you'll never guess "
George takes out....the crystal ball.
Carrot's mouth drops in astonishment.
G " Carrot you're a genius, I think it's terrific. It's the most original thing I've ever been given "
J " I think it's lovely "
Sam wants to say something,
S " but...I thought "
G " every farmer should have one"
J " you won't need the weather forecast now will you."
Ct " you like it!?"
G " course I do it's marvellous "
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Catweazle is at the lake edge, a tree trunk at 45 degree angle juts out into the water. Catweazle lays out all his possessions on the tree. Which includes a harmonica, a roller skate, a light bulb.
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C( holding toad and lantern) " Touchwood see the treasures I have gleaned. Now Touchwood prepare for the great journey "
He ties all his possessions into a bundle tied to a stick, and holding the lantern enters the water, wading up to his waist.
Carrot runs up to the waters edge.
Ct " you pinched dad's present!"
C " he has the scrying glass "
Ct " that's not the point, give it back"
C " I have need of it, to protect me against the Normans "
Ct " you're off your head"
C " they will fear it"
Ct " what are you doing, are you fishing or something "
C " NIPBONE! I return to my own time and my cave in the great forest"
Ct " don't be silly, come out, you're mad"
C " I am not mad "
Ct " yes you are, you're completely potty, the whole thing is a delusion, like thinking you're Napoleon "
C " I am Catweazle "
Ct " come out, it can't work Catweazle stop making a fool of yourself "
C " nay"
Ct " alright go on, disappear "
C " salmy dalmy adonay "
Nothing happens,
Ct " you'll have to do better than that"
Catweazle looks to the heavens,
C " O spirits of the Earth, fire, air and the magic spirit of water, I charge thee.."
Catweazle drops lantern in water, he dips under the water to try and retrieve it, but emerges empty handed. Suddenly something is happening, Catweazle is fading, getter fainter.
Ct " Catweazle something is happening to you, you're melting "
C " then it is beginning "
Ct " but...but..you can't, I mean nobody can it's impossible "
C " a foolish word"
Ct " you're going all misty"
C " nay, it is thou, thou are like smoke, thy world fadest fast"
Catweazle is getting fainter and fainter.
Ct " then it's true!! EVERYTHING "
C " aye thy doubter, thy disbelieving dreg, farewell "
Carrot is beginning to cry! The bravado slipping away.
Ct " don't go yet"
C " too late Nettleface"
Ct ( tears running)" please Catweazle " :cry:
C " nay.....Carrot "
Carrot is losing it as Catweazle used his nickname for the first time.
Ct " will you stay a bit longer?"
C " 900 years I've waited( waving) farewell "
Catweazle fades to nothing, he's gone.
Ct " will you come back one day?"
Silence...just the eerie still of the lake, a few bird noises, but otherwise silence.
Carrot trudges away, head bowed, he stops for one last look at lake....his friend is gone...never will Carrot see him again.
THE END
 
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Next two episodes I've covered s02e01 and s02e06 both in thread link below.
 
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