Surviving a Toxic Work Environment

[Jolly Jimmy Tinsel Todd]

Anyone have experience with a toxic work environment? Have you used personal strategies you found successful in maintaining mental health? For example, unfair policies, whittling away benefits, poor or no communication by bosses, gaslighting supervisors, and new policies that encourage employees to spy and report on each other(I kid you not).

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

The only reason I ever really wanted to be born independently wealthy was to avoid exactly this.

 

[Jolly Jimmy Tinsel Todd]

The only reason I ever really wanted to be born independently wealthy was to avoid exactly this.

While I work on developing survival strategies, I am imagining in which of these situations a good comeback from JR, Greg, Abby, Angela or Alexis would work. I actually already used one from JR. In my head I've used Angela's "Revenge leaves a bad taste in one's mouth, something like sour grapes. Why don't you leave it to the pros."
I was kind of like Gary when he fell off the wagon in season 4. After work on Friday, I stopped off at a deli and bought a box of cheap cookies. I sat a park and ate them, the box in a paper bag. I almost never do this as I try to abstain from weets as much as possible. Sugar is to me what alcohol is to Gary and Sue Ellen, but there I was on a park bench, furiously eating cheap cookies put of a paper bag from work stress. I crossed that line, and I didn't even get to blackout and wonder if I slept with Ciji.
Maybe that is a survival strategy in itself. Using this increasingly toxic environment to show all I've learned from watching 1980s prime time soaps may save my sanity.

 

[Avery Merry Christmas]

I can totally relate. I think I "quiet quit" my job several years ago, even before the concept was named and discussed in the media in the past year or so. I used to do a lot of things that would be considered "above and beyond" my job description because we were told that increased sales/productivity would make our quarterly bonuses larger, and by extension, our yearly raises. They sent up a huge red flag when they cut out the bonuses, and our raises are now called "automatic salary increases" in the paperwork because they've ended the yearly performance reviews. Since everyone gets the same % salary increase regardless of performance, they've removed the two main drivers of employee motivation to do more and be better year over year. So I do just enough to keep clients happy and leave on time (no overtime allowed!). I have lots of ideas on improving sales but I don't even bother to volunteer them because....well, there's nothing in it for me except more work and no extra time or rewards for accomplishing improved sales. There's a saying I find myself repeating: If I succeed in shoveling more s#!t, my only reward will be....a bigger shovel.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

Most work environments are, almost by definition, toxic. Because they're metaphoric for the human-condition, at least the human condition in groups. Sociopaths run the world -- and they run the world because they want to. And on most job sites, you have the worst people running around trying to control what everybody thinks about everybody else.

Among other sins.

And in addition to all that, there is some kind of product which is supposed to be generated.

I mean, what can go wrong?

 

[DallasFanForever]

I think most work environments are toxic in nature nowadays. For me the key has always been humor. Humor seems to disarm people in the workplace rather easily in my experience. Of course, it heavily depends on the type of job we’re talking about and the level of the toxicity involved, but you’d be surprised at how making people laugh can make the working environment more enjoyable for everyone.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

I think most work environments are toxic in nature nowadays. For me the key has always been humor. Humor seems to disarm people in the workplace rather easily in my experience. Of course, it heavily depends on the type of job we’re talking about and the level of the toxicity involved, but you’d be surprised at how making people laugh can make the working environment more enjoyable for everyone.

Oh, I don't know. I think that only works on normal folks. For pathological people, it doesn't. It may even convey "weakness" to them.

 

[Avery Merry Christmas]

There is the sense of "shared misery" that often manifests itself in humor, or at least sarcasm as a coping mechanism. It aids in building camaraderie among the "troops"
(it's seen in the military, as well). We get our jollies laughing at the inefficiency and buffoonery in our corporate office, but it borders on gallows humor at times because these are supposed to be our "best and brightest" steering the ship. When you ask "How are you today?" and the stock reply seems to be "I'm here," it does not inspire optimism.

 

[Angels Chanting]

I worked in an incredibly toxic environment, it was like the Hunger Games where many of my colleagues would happily sabotage the work of others so they would look good in comparison. There was a lot a favouritism and unfair practices.

I took the opposite approach to the "quiet quitting" mentioned earlier and I just did my work as well as I could and tried to ignore all the shenanigans going on around me as long as it didn't affect me directly. My thinking was I had to be twice as good as others to get any credit for my work. However, if any of the bad behaviour impacted on me negatively, I would complain to my manager, even though I knew he wouldn't do anything about it. At times it felt like I was complaining about something on a daily basis. I starting logging the issues that were making me unhappy and when I could see it was getting me nowhere with my manager, I complained to my manager's manager and eventually to the director of the Laboratory. I wrote a long letter to the director detailing all my concerns, outlining my attempts so far to get change and requested a meeting to discuss it further. He didn't meet me but he asked my manager's manager to see me and keep him informed.

The whole situation was stressful and was taking a bit of a toll on my mental health which wasn't great as I suffer from depression but I feel doing nothing would harm me more than keeping my head down an tolerating the situation.

My advice to anyone in this situation is to do whatever is best for you. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it and what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. Try to seek out allies so you don't feel like you are dealing with the situation alone. If your work place is unionised, consider joining the union and discuss the situation with you union rep. If there is an HR partner then they are someone else you can talk to about it.

 

[Frank Under the Mistletoe]

This is why my favorite job was my paper route. Sure, the pay sucked, but at least I was left alone as long as the newspapers were delivered on time. My hell didn't start until I worked at a call center. It was filled with nosey employees, indifferent and unreasonable supervisors, and callers who would chew you out for things that were beyond your control. I also suffer from mental health issues, and this ended up bringing on several panic attacks. I'm glad to be out of that environment, and I feel for those who are still in it.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

and callers who would chew you out for things that were beyond your control.

So that was you!!

 

[DallasFanForever]

Oh, I don't know. I think that only works on normal folks. For pathological people, it doesn't. It may even convey "weakness" to them.

Well, I guess I should’ve stated that it usually only works with the normal people. I have tried it on the pathological ones also but with less success. With them I’ve learned it’s just better to run.

 

[Jolly Jimmy Tinsel Todd]

I worked in an incredibly toxic environment, it was like the Hunger Games where many of my colleagues would happily sabotage the work of others so they would look good in comparison. There was a lot a favouritism and unfair practices.

I took the opposite approach to the "quiet quitting" mentioned earlier and I just did my work as well as I could and tried to ignore all the shenanigans going on around me as long as it didn't affect me directly. My thinking was I had to be twice as good as others to get any credit for my work. However, if any of the bad behaviour impacted on me negatively, I would complain to my manager, even though I knew he wouldn't do anything about it. At times it felt like I was complaining about something on a daily basis. I starting logging the issues that were making me unhappy and when I could see it was getting me nowhere with my manager, I complained to my manager's manager and eventually to the director of the Laboratory. I wrote a long letter to the director detailing all my concerns, outlining my attempts so far to get change and requested a meeting to discuss it further. He didn't meet me but he asked my manager's manager to see me and keep him informed.

The whole situation was stressful and was taking a bit of a toll on my mental health which wasn't great as I suffer from depression but I feel doing nothing would harm me more than keeping my head down an tolerating the situation.

My advice to anyone in this situation is to do whatever is best for you. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it and what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. Try to seek out allies so you don't feel like you are dealing with the situation alone. If your work place is unionised, consider joining the union and discuss the situation with you union rep. If there is an HR partner then they are someone else you can talk to about it.

Thank you for the input.
My work has no HR department, and the union rep is "in bed" with the head honchos. He has worked against us so many times it's outrageous. He has even gone so far as to sabotage our union meetings. He wants as few as possible with as few people in attendance as possible. When I publicly called him out on his chicanery, people were mostly apathetic, which drove me even more crazy. The place has become rife with cronyism, so there is a whole contingent of people who support this behavior. Most of the others don't want to say anything.
On top of that we are barraged with this "We are a community" or "We are a family" propaganda. I want to quote Julia on Falcon Crest: "This isn't a family. It's a snake pit."

 

[Avery Merry Christmas]

Not sure who said it, but I'll repeat it:

"Referring to your employees as 'family' is the corporate equivalent of telling a prostitute that you love her."

 

[Jolly Jimmy Tinsel Todd]

Not sure who said it, but I'll repeat it:

"Referring to your employees as 'family' is the corporate equivalent of telling a prostitute that you love her."

So, so true. I'll remember that.

 

[Snarky Oracle!]

Not sure who said it, but I'll repeat it:

"Referring to your employees as 'family' is the corporate equivalent of telling a prostitute that you love her."

But....but....but what if you really do??

 

[Rove]

For me the key has always been humor

This is something I've always attempted to instill in my workplace. Just yesterday it was one of those days where the store manager screwed up the department managers roster and came to the realization, he had no managers to open the store so asked myself and another team member to do it. He would then allow us to have an early mark, so we agreed. For the first 3 hours the store ran smoothly. One of our newest team members then asked me if I would be a manager. When I asked why she said, "This place is so more enjoyable to work in." I replied I've been asked many times over the years but I'd rather not. Of course, the manager arrived and the whole mood changed.

 

[Jolly Jimmy Tinsel Todd]

So, I have a meeting this morning and tomorrow morning with "superiors" to discuss toxic work issues. These people love the sound of their own voice, going off on irrelevant tangents, and saying "I hear you" when it's obvious they don't hear anything they don't like. I am going to try and be open-minded and remember I'm not perfect, either.
My two strategies are to engage in Socratic dialogue and to see how many quotes from JR, Greg, Abby, Alexis and Angela I can use. Maybe I'll write a few on my hand

 

[Crimson]

Your mileage may vary on how well this advice will work for you, but its served me well through the years of a very stressful job. We can't control external forces, but we can control how we respond to them.

First, it's just a job. I work to live, not live to work. I'm paid to do something undesirable; that might be the job itself, and it might be dealing with difficult people. If it were meant to be fun, I'd probably have to pay the company. How much one can tolerate is probably directly proportional to how well one is paid. I can tolerate a lot.

Secondly, I never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence. I suspect the amount of workplace scheming is significantly lower than some like to believe. People are just dealing with their own stresses and problems; some handle it very badly. By separating out any personal element, workplace issues are easier to compartmentalize. My last boss was the worst manager I've ever had. She made my job more difficult ever step of the way. Yet, I still got along with her just fine. We even completed a non-worked related 5k run together.

If the stress to compensation ratio doesn't balance out, it's time to find a new job.

 

[Oh!Carol Christmasson]

^
At first glance that seems like a very level-headed approach, however

First, it's just a job. I work to live, not live to work

True, but at 40 hours per week for approx 40 to 50 years that's still quite a chunk out of your life.
Deadline is the #1 stress factor in my job but as long as I think it's doable I usually handle it well - and it makes the time at work fly by.
But when I think of toxic I think of co-workers who try to create feuds and drama - just because they can. In my experience these are usually not the most intelligent or sophisticated people (they probably don't act very differently in their home environment) and it's pointless to find a solution when they've already decided that they hate you and make the workplace as unpleasant as possible. And that's the kind of stress that can extend to your private life.

It hasn't happened to me an awful lot but there have been times when I prayed for an eenie-meenie tiny little car accident that would put a certain co-worker out of circulation for a (long) while.
Being Catholic, I always regretted that wish because you should never ask God for bad things to happen (read: I was more concerned about the way this could backfire rather than my concern for my target).

And let's not forget the practical aspect: changing jobs is easier said than done (it depends on your qualifications, where you live etc).