SoapLand - The Battle Of The Most Far-fetched Storylines - The Result

[Richard Channing]

That's my top choice for the "most far-fetched storyline." How was anyone supposed to think Jock would come back from a helicopter crash that burned him so badly that a plastic surgeon "built him a new face" and he had no visible scars? How was his entire build different from Jock's build? Did the plastic surgeon "build him a new skeleton" too? He's not only not scarred from this horrible accident that burned over half his body, he's not even impaired in any way. He doesn't so much as walk with a limp or need a cane. What a remarkable recovery! It's six years later but he looks younger. He's so able-bodied that he can be the new foreman of the ranch! It didn't even look like they tried to be believable with this story.

I didn't watch the other shows that are being mentioned, so the second storyline on my list comes is from Dallas as well. It's from the second half season 4 of Dallas. It's the "JR and Leslie Stewart" storyline. Dallas took what had been an amazing season for the first half and just decimated it with this ridiculous story of JR being attracted to this woman named Leslie Stewart. If they had been trying to create a character for a woman who was less attractive than this character they created, they could not have done a better job. I'm not referring to her physical appearance; I'm talking about her character. There was nothing remarkable about her looks, certainly nothing so great that they could somehow make up for everything else about her. Leslie Stewart was just an awful woman. The way JR pathetically chased this woman around, she'd have had to look like the hottest sex symbol at that time- 1980-1981 Bo Derek. Then it might have been believable. Possibly. Instead they cast a very unremarkable, middle aged looking woman who had white hair. Good one! Wow, between the casting for the character, the way they wrote the character and the whole rest of the storyline, they could not have been more inept. To give you some perspective of how bad this storyline was, the best way I can put it is that if they had actually decided to hire Bo Derek and put her in a role demanding any acting ability, it still would have been a brilliant move in comparison.

They wrecked what had been a tremendous season with this storyline that they featured and Dallas dropped four and half points in the Nielsen ratings from season four to season five. That's a huge drop; it's the biggest drop they ever had from one season to the next. Of course some of that drop has to be attributed to losing Jim Davis. They lost the man who played Jock Ewing. Dallas had lost the head of the Ewing family; the man who founded an empire: Ewing Oil. The show never entirely recovered. Six years later they were even considering trying to bring the character back! That was a huge mistake. Nobody but Jim Davis could play Jock Ewing.

So, just to clarify, for when I'm totting up the totals later, The Wes Parmalee story is your number one and the Leslie Stewart one is your number 2? Are you gonna add three more to make a top 5?

 

[Kenny Coyote]

So, just to clarify, for when I'm totting up the totals later, The Wes Parmalee story is your number one and the Leslie Stewart one is your number 2? Are you gonna add three more to make a top 5?

I don't have a lot of shows to draw from, so I'll just keep my list as it is, with those as my top two. Thanks for asking.

 

[Richard Channing]

I don't have a lot of shows to draw from, so I'll just keep my list as it is, with those as my top two. Thanks for asking.

No problem. Although they can all be from Dallas if you want.

 

[Toni]

What's weird about this is that they clearly used PSM's body and just put Emma's head on there - I honestly wonder if they really just did paint over the face? Or does the PSM painting still exist in one of Tori's various storage spaces (100+ reportedly)?

I seem to remember that Emma´s picture was redone later on adding her "physical characteristics" instead of Pamela´s (if you know what I mean). Anyway I wouldn´t be surprised to know that Tori and her bro organize eBay bids to sell the portrait and one of them bids to get more and more money, and rise the price. They´re Spellings after all...

​

 

[Richard Channing]

Tuesday is your last day to vote.

 

[Richard Channing]

The results are in and it's official, Soapland's most far-fetched storyline is:


1. Double trouble on Dynasty (23 points)




2. Fallon boldly goes where no soap character has gone before (15 points)




3. Mock Ewing? (11 points)




4. Ben Gibson: Licensed to kill (11 points)




5. Ewing Barbecued and Wife Swap Knots Landing (9 points)

 

[Mel O'Drama]

I'm not sure what would be the appropriate felicitation to the winner of such a dubious round. So I'll just paste on my best Krystle frozen smile and say "congratulations" to Dynasty.

Mock Ewing?

Love it!!

 

[Willie Oleson]

Congratulations, DYNASTY!

 

[Michael Torrance]

Congratulations, DYNASTY!

Listen, I'll take any win for my show, but...

If I were around and had voted at the time, I'd say that Steven's plastic surgery which changed not only his face but also his height, voice, and hair is the winner.

 

[Willie Oleson]

I'd say that Steven's plastic surgery which changed not only his face but also his height, voice, and hair is the winner

Ha. But there are two different things going on at the same time.
The fictional characters are not supposed to notice that he's no longer Al Corley, but they do notice that something has changed - the question is: how much?

It's not the different face, but the flawless face and skin that makes it so far-fetched.

They fixed me, they really did!

 

[Michael Torrance]

It's not the different face, but the flawless face and skin that makes it so far-fetched.

Well, it had to be perfect. Steven was ...hmmm... anal retentive that way.

 

[Willie Oleson]

He wanted a perfect anus?