SoapLand - The Battle Of The Vixens: The Result

Jock Og

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1. Melissa played by Ana Alicia – FALCON CREST
2. Kristin played by Mary Crosby – DALLAS
3. Fallon played by Pamela Sue Martin – DYNASTY
4. Paige played by Nicollette Sheridan – KNOTS LANDING
5. Terri played by Laura Johnson – FALCON CREST


Terri and Lance are in the Falcon Crest pool. They snog, as Melissa appears with Joseph, (a scene from season 3, 1983-‘84):

Melissa: “You are setting a fine example for your son.”

Lance: “Hi Joseph!”

Joseph: “Hi!”

Lance: “I want you to meet daddy’s new friend. Isn’t she pretty?”

Melissa: “Run up to the house Joseph, okay! I’ll be there in a minute.”

Terri: “He’s adorable.”

Lance asks Melissa: “Why don’t you go upstairs and put a suit on? Come and join us.”

Melissa: “I think I’ll pass.”

Terri: “That’s too bad. I was hoping we could become friends.”

Lance: “You know you really want to try Melissa. You can learn so much from Terri.”

Melissa: “I’m glad to hear she is such a good teacher. Maybe she can help you with some of your own inadequacies.”
 

Snarky Oracle!

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Melissa (Ana Alicia) – FALCON CREST
Kristin (Mary Crosby) – DALLAS
Fallon (Pamela Sue Martin) – DYNASTY
Terri (Laura Johnson) – FALCON CREST
Marilee Stone (Fern Fitzgerald) -DALLAS

I liked Sammy Jo, but they never did much with as her.
And I could just never get into Nicollete Sheridan at all.

Honorable Mention goes to Katherine Wentworth (Morgan Brittany).

I always think of Alexis and Abby as leading ladies.
 

James from London

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I went for the golddigging poor relation definition. This disqualifies Fallon, Paige, Melissa and Constance who were all born into money. Abby doesn't seem to fit either, probably because Sid wasn't exactly wealthy and she was always after more than just landing a rich guy. Same with Linda Fairgate, even though she didn't live to achieve her aims.

1. Sue Ellen's sister Kristin - the original and still the best: sexy, greedy and very funny.

2. Jack's ex-wife April, before she came into money and lost her edge. Again, sexy, greedy and utterly shameless. "Hell in high heels," as her sister Michelle later described her. Speaking of whom ..

3. April's sister Michelle - to be honest, I haven't watched her seasons of Dallas for so long that I'm not really sure where to place her, but at the time she felt like an excitingly modern variation on a classic archetype. The fact that she succeeded where her predecessors had failed - she got Ewing Oil! - was even better. Also, she's something of an underdog on the forum which makes me root for her all the more.

4. Krystle's niece Sammy Jo - Vicious as she sometimes was, there was something innocent about her too.

5. Claude Weldon's secretary's sister Christie Kovacks - she burned briefly but sluttily. I like how she ended up facially deformed and no one really cared.

Runner up:

Mitch's sister Afton: a tip-top supporting character overall, but her golddigging phase was relatively short lived and was somewhat overshadowed at the time by Leslie Stewart's machinations.
 
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James from London

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Oh dear, I missed out Maggie's sister Terry. Oh well.
 

Willie Oleson

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The soapchat community has decided, and here's the top 5 of favourite Soap Vixens:

1. Melissa Agretti Cumson Gioberti Cumson
upload_2017-4-16_22-26-48.png

The sultry and selfish heiress to the Agretti Vineyards who always wanted her cake and eat it (including Cole's buns) won this round with 28 points.

2. Second favourite, with 23 points, is Blake Carrington's spoilt, snobbish and catty daughter Fallon.
upload_2017-4-16_22-36-59.png

It was the reverse situation of that old story about a lovely princess and an evil queen.

3. 21 points for Dallas' troublesome Kristin Shepard.
upload_2017-4-16_22-42-9.png

Here she is, with that infamous "I know more than you do" smile, and the only top 5 winner who entertained us on two prime time soaps (because no-one voted for Fallon II from Dynasty II).

4. Abby Fairgate Cunningham Ewing Sumner
upload_2017-4-16_22-50-34.png

Unlike the others, never bitchy or cruel for the heck of it, but her calculated and inconsiderate personality placed her at #4 with 17 points.
Sorry, there's no money involved with this competition, only recognition.

5. Sammy Jo Dean & Reece Carrington Fallmont - Almost Colby
upload_2017-4-16_23-14-18.png

How did this lovely young lady end up in the top 5? Make no mistake, once she opens her mouth she'll show her traits of a "redneck" alley cat.
Luxury and pleasure is what she's after, and she won't hesistate to sell her child or replace her aunt with a criminal look-alike.
In her defence, I must say that it was very petty that she - a Carrington! - couldn't keep that fur coat.
Krystle and Alexis even agreed on the subject, which itself is kinda disgusting. Either way, we thought it warranted 14 points.


Thanks for the input, everyone.
:wave:

Btw, Hilary Adams called, and she's majorly pissed off that no-one voted for her.
upload_2017-4-16_23-39-47.png

She said what Justin Bieber said, so I won't repeat it here.

The next battle will be hosted by my best friend slash nemesis @Richard Channing!
 

Richard Channing

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A worthy winner indeed, no other character blazed on to our screens in such a vivavious, effervescent, fireball as Melissa. She literally set the screen on fire in her debut episode and went on to keep smouldering, scheming and seducing, all done with a wonderfully dirty laugh.
 
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