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Message: <blockquote data-quote="James from London" data-source="post: 190207" data-attributes="member: 22">20 Oct 91: DYNASTY: The Reunion (1) v. 15 Nov 96: DALLAS: J.R. Returns v. 7 May 97: KNOTS LANDING: Back to the Cul-de-Sac (1)   Whereas the DALLAS and KNOTS characters largely seem like they’ve been frozen in time since their series ended, waiting for these reunions to come along and reactivate them, it feels as if the lives of the Carringtons and Colbys have carried on even while DYNASTY was off the air. The last time we saw Blake, for instance, he was lying on the Carrington staircase with a gunshot wound. Now he’s in Colorado State Prison, having served three years on a murder conviction. In the intervening time, he’s also lost his fortune: Denver Carrington has been taken over and his beloved mansion has been put up for sale.He is conveniently exonerated of his crime in the opening scene of "The Reunion" and emerges from prison with a clearly stated agenda: “I’m not gonna rest until I get Denver Carrington back.” Likewise, DALLAS opens with JR flying in from Paris, where he has spent the last five years in a self-imposed exile, with a plan of his own. “I’ve got a town to pay back,” he announces. This translates as preventing Cliff Barnes from selling Ewing Oil to West Star.Several Soap Land’s couples have not fared well during the time their shows were off the air. Fallon and Zorelli “broke it off”, Sue Ellen and Don Lockwood “split up a few months ago,” Kenny and Ginger Ward “are divorced” and Nick Schillace dumped Anne Matheson in Europe. “He found somebody else who was rich, available and needier,” Anne explains to Greg. “Needier than you?” Greg asks in surprise. (Like JR, Anne has just returned from Paris after a long absence. Instead of having a plan or agenda, however, she seems content to sit on Greg’s couch and flick through magazines. It’s so nice to have her back.)It’s fun to hear major cliffhangers resolved in a few lines of throwaway dialogue. While Alexis “managed to turn in midair” during her fall from the Carlton balcony, Dex “didn’t fare all that well.” (Does that mean he’s …?). And JR apparently shot a hole in his mirror rather than his own head. “The next morning, you’re gone,” Bobby recalls. “I haven’t spoken to you, JR, ten times in the last five years.”In other news, Jeff and Fallon are divorcing again (I’m not sure if this is the same divorce they were going through when DYNASTY was still on the air, or if they’ve re-remarried and split up again during the past two years — but I don’t think it really matters); Buck Fallmont has died; Carter McKay has somehow resumed control of West Star; Val Ewing has written a best-selling book about her experience as a hostage (called, um, Hostage) and hubby Gary has started one business, sold it to Greg Sumner for a cool $3.5 million and then started another one with Karen.Meanwhile, Blake isn’t the only one who’s fallen on hard times. Mack Mackenzie is also going broke, at least according to his secretary Peggy, Sammy Jo has lost her fortune and is back modelling in New York like Rock Hudson never happened and, having her assets frozen by the IRS for non-payment of taxes, Abby finds herself once again playing office girl to Gary and Karen. It’s a lot of fun seeing both blondes back slumming it in the same jobs they had during Season 3 of their respective series.JR’s plan to sabotage Cliff’s deal with West Star is enjoyably convoluted. It involves (yet another) secret codicil to Jock’s will, JR defrauding John Ross out of his inheritance and faking his own death in a fiery car crash not too dissimilar from the fiery car crash in which Val supposedly died during KNOTS’ final season. A prominently placed Stetson hat in the driver’s seat stands in for Larry Hagman just as a flash of blonde hair did for Joan Van Ark on the passenger side. In lieu of an identifiable corpse, the discovery of JR’s gold watch amongst the wreckage serves the same function as Val’s wedding ring four years earlier, convincing both the authorities and family members that he’s dead. The key difference between the two crashes, of course, is that we know from the outset that JR’s has been staged. This doesn’t prevent the reactions of Bobby, John Ross and Sue Ellen to the news of his death from being quite touching. In retrospect, they serve as a dummy run for the real thing seventeen years later. Helping to sell the moment, the sombre music from the aftermath of Bobby’s death is reprised. (There’s a similar musical déjà vu at the end of this first instalment of KNOTS as Mack’s midnight flit from the cul-de-sac is scored by the same music that accompanied Laura’s final video message to Greg. The shot of an empty Seaview Circle after he drives away also recalls the end of the episode where Richard Avery similarly departed the cul-de-sac.)JR’s “death” brings Sue Ellen and John Ross back from England for his funeral. The rest of the family are conspicuous by their absence. Miss Ellie and Clayton are busy “living their lives”, Ray and Lucy are likewise a no show and, according to Bobby, Gary’s not there because “Aunt Val is in the hospital and he can’t leave her right now.”While the DALLAS and DYNASTY reunions are ultimately focused on bringing their respective characters back together, KNOTS already achieved this during its series finale, “Just Like Old Times”. So instead, the mini-series starts by breaking the characters apart again. Before the opening titles have even rolled, Paige has driven out of KNOTS LANDING forever after Greg refuses to give her a child. Presumably, she’s headed straight for New DYNASTY where she’ll end up having three of the blighters. (KNOTS’ last image of Paige — a headshot defaced by Greg with a sharpie — foreshadows the damage New Adam will do to her actual face twenty-two years later.) Abby then announces her intention to leave the cul-de-sac for Malibu, which seems rather a shame, but happily, her fortunes soon take a downturn and she’s obliged to move in with the Mackenzies instead.KNOTS does manage a mini-reunion — a reunion within a reunion if you will — at Mack and Karen’s anniversary party where the Fairgate and Cunningham kids, as well as Ginger herself, make brief cameo appearances. Don’t ask me why, but there’s something oddly heartwarming about seeing Diana and Michael shooting hoops with Meg and the twins in the middle of the cul-de-sac. (In the final scene of “JR Returns”, John Ross and Christopher are doing the same thing in the Southfork driveway.)Just as Val returned from the dead after escaping her captors in “Just Like Old Times” so Krystle does the same thing in “The Reunion”. In place of the touching scene where Val took a cab to the cul-de-sac, stood outside her old house and then hastily took off again, there’s the fantastic scene where Krystle takes a cab to the Carrington mansion, only to find an auction of its contents taking place. She moves through the crowd unrecognised and largely unnoticed (again, echoes of the invisible JR in “Conundrum”), eavesdropping on strangers gossiping about what has become of her loved ones in the three years she’s been away (information that’s as vital to us viewers as it is to her). With exquisite, inevitable irony, the only person she recognises is Alexis, seen making off with some priceless eighteenth-century something or other that used to belong to Blake.Blake and Krystle’s eventual reunion, with them running across a Malibu beach towards each other as waves crash and an orchestra plays full pelt on the soundtrack, is in stark contrast to Val and Gary’s furtive reunion in a dingy diner at the end of Season 14. Different again is JR’s triumphant resurrection, arriving at his own memorial service on the back of a truck full of pigs. The contrast between these reunion scenes expresses a quintessential difference between each of the three series.When Val came back to the cul-de-sac in “Just Like Old Times”, she brought dire warnings of “an international mafia” intent on infiltrating the American business world. Blake is now equally concerned about a similar-sounding organisation, “a mysterious international business consortium [that] is plotting to buy up America.” Whereas Treadwell was trying to take over the Sumner Group, this new consortium has already acquired Denver Carrington. Treadwell’s equivalent in this scenario is Jeremy Van Dorn, a fabulously louche Euro-baddie, who is kind of a cross between Peter de Vilbis and a Bond villain. His strong-arm tactics also resemble Treadwell’s. In an exciting sequence early on in the mini-series, he has Blake and Jeff’s car run off the road, just as a Treadwell truck did the same thing to Kate Whittaker back on KNOTS. And just as all paths led back to Treadwell during KNOTS final season, so they all lead back the consortium now. Krystle’s been brainwashed by them, Adam’s sold his soul to them, Alexis is being courted by them, the fashion company Sammy Jo models for is owned by them, and even Kirby works for them — albeit unwittingly.Ah yes, Kirby. She's back — as is another supporting female character from Soap Land’s heyday, DALLAS’s Afton. Interestingly, each of their mothers gets a shout out. While Kirby recalls how Alexis got rid of her originally (“She claimed to know things about my mother, ugly little secrets”), Afton’s daughter Pamela recalls living “with my Grandma Arliss” when she was younger. Another long-forgotten character is vaguely alluded to on KNOTS after Ginger Ward makes the frankly absurd claim that ex-husband Kenny was a mediocre lover. “No wonder he liked the young ones,” Karen replies sagely. “What young ones?” asks Ginger in that wide-eyed way of hers. Annie Fairgate, for starters.There’s no mention of Sable Colby, Michelle Stevens or Vanessa Hunt — the three bad girls who were still standing when their respective shows were cancelled. However, Sable’s daughter Monica shows up in DALLAS, calling herself Anita Smithfield. She’s still a lawyer, but nowhere near as buttoned-up as she used to be. Like Sammy Jo in the DYNASTY reunion, she’s happy to strip down to her extremely skimpy underwear at every available opportunity. These two girls each get to deliver a notable double entendre I’m not sure any of the original series would have gotten away with. When Sammy Jo’s fashion boss Arlen Marshall fails to show up for a business meeting because he’s rolling around in bed with Sammy Jo, Alexis calls his hotel room demanding to speak to him.  “I’m sorry,” Sammy Jo replies with a smirk, “he’s not in yet.” This line was considered so racy it was muted when the mini-series was first broadcast in the UK. Meanwhile, shortly after JR’s “death”, Anita returns to her apartment, takes off her clothes (naturally) and clambers onto her bed where JR is waiting for her. “For a dead man, I feel definite signs of life,” she coos. (Also, if you’ve ever wanted to hear Monica Colby’s impression of Afton Cooper, here’s your chance. Spoiler: It’s not very good.)DALLAS’s equivalent of Treadwell and Jeremy Van Dorn is JR himself, who manipulates the rest of the characters into doing his bidding throughout the movie. While Van Dorn has Jeff kidnapped, JR has the lovely Afton framed on a drugs charge and then committed to a sanatarium. Whereas Afton is merely drugged, Jeff is alternately beaten and fed delicious truffles by the bonkers Van Dorn.Rather than another consortium-type conspiracy, “Back to the Cul-de-sac” entwines most of its characters in a more modest, but still enjoyably knotty, storyline. Mack is representing the former employees of the factory Gary sold to Greg in a lawsuit for wrongful dismissal. A key part of their case is a written agreement Greg made with Gary when he bought the company. Karen and her new assistant, Abby, are despatched to find Gary’s copy of this agreement — only Abby has already made a deal with Greg to sabotage the workers’ case in exchange for the million dollars she needs to pay off the IRS. So she leans on Robert Simons, one of the plaintiffs in the case on whom she has some dirt, to burn down the warehouse where Gary’s records are stored. What could possibly go wrong?The interior of the Carrington mansion is not the one we remember from the series. It’s an actual house instead of a set. In fact, the whole of the DYNASTY reunion appears to have been filmed in real buildings rather than on a soundstage, giving it an expansive mini-series atmosphere that suits the characters well. Cliff’s office at Ewing Oil is real too. In fact, it’s a dead ringer for JR’s office in the original mini-series (the one with the glass walls and a view of the Dallas skyline). It looks great.I couldn’t decide if the Southfork living room is the same or not. The layout is pretty much as it was in the series, but something about the way it’s shot makes it feel more authentic, more substantial than the set we’re used to. In any case, it’s great to see the real Southfork exterior (as opposed to the fake cardboard patio) again. Save for stock footage, it’s the first time it’s been shown on screen for eight years. Even more thrilling is the shot of Krystle standing outside the actual Carrington mansion, not seen since the first couple of seasons of DYNASTY (again, apart from stock footage). Over on KNOTS, the interior sets of the Ewing and Mackenzie houses have being recreated while everything else looks to have been filmed on location. The one set I miss is the Sumner Group offices. It doesn’t seem right for Greg to be sitting in a drab, generic-looking boardroom instead of his old lair.Jock’s portrait isn’t quite the same as it used to be either, but it’s good to see it presiding over the Southfork living room again anyway. Oh and Adam Carrington, Bart Fallmont, Christopher Ewing and Meg Mackenzie all have new heads, but none of these is too jarring. In fact, New Bart feels a bit like a reincarnation of Luke Fuller, which is quite nice. And it’s just so, so good to have Al Corley back as Steven.“The Reunion” actually feels like DYNASTY’s Greatest Hits set against an international James Bond-style backdrop: Steven has his Season 1 face, his Season 2 chip on his shoulder and his Season 6 love interest. Sammy Jo has reverted to the personality, profession and bank balance she had in Season 3, while she and Steven get to rehash their Season 4 custody issues over Danny. Adam is reunited with his Season 4 fiancee, and Fallon, Jeff and Miles are reliving their love triangle from Season 1 of THE COLBYS. Meanwhile, Brainwashed Krystle is a variation on two previous Krystle-Not-Krystle scenarios — the Krystle Duplicate of Season 6 and the Plate-Spinning Krystle of Season 9. The big difference is that instead of being based in Denver, these characters and their storylines have been, to borrow an old phrase of Fallon’s, scattered, like big old pin rubies looking for their lost setting. Steven starts off in Washington, Fallon in Miami, Krystle in Geneva and Sammy Jo in New York. Blake is first seen in prison, before travelling to New York, then Miami and finally settling in Virginia. Only Alexis, Adam and Jeff appear to still be resident in Denver. Throughout this first half of the mini-series, the characters zigzag between these various locations, occasionally running into each other along the way. As with the cross-country Australian soap SONS AND DAUGHTERS, much of the enjoyment comes from trying to keep track of who’s in which city at any given time. Finally, the DYNASTY gang really feel like the jet-setting globe-trotters they were always meant to be.Meanwhile, it’s business as usual on DALLAS: Cliff is still looking for his daughter, Bobby is still torn between ranching and the oil business, JR is once again secretly buying shares in West Star in order to get his hands on Ewing Oil, while also trying to win back Sue Ellen for the umpteenth time. For her own part, Sue Ellen is still fighting her feelings for her ex. “You bastard!” she hisses before inevitably kissing his face off.Likewise on KNOTS, Mack is in the same “crappy mood” he was in for most of Season 14,  continuing to rant about what a blight on humanity Greg Sumner is while arguing with Karen over what they should tell Meg about her parentage. Meanwhile, Greg continues to gaze at Meg with silent longing and Val’s latest writing project inevitably leads her into disaster once more.Our glimpse into the feuding fashion world on DYNASTY feels a lot more fresh and fun than the cliched goings-on at the Hollywood film studio where Val shows up to begin her new career as a screenwriter. Much to her surprise, she discovers that everyone in the movie industry is a cynically smarmy phoney who’s more interested in making money than art. This is the exact same “insight” we’ve been given every other time a Soap Land character has ventured into the film industry, be it Maggie Gioberti or Sue Ellen or even Val herself, who went through all this before when she adapted Capricorn Crude for TV — even though she keeps telling anyone who'll listen that she has no previous screenwriting experience whatsoever. This storyline is also responsible for one of the most witless moments in KNOTS history. “Was that Stefanie Powers that just drove through?” Val asks the guard on the studio gate. “Michele Lee,” he replies, prompting her to emit a gurgle of excitement. Sigh. I mean, she might as well wave at the camera and shout, “Look at me, everyone! I’m in a TV show! It's not real!”Given all that, the scenes between Val and her co-writer, Clay McKinney, a boozed-up burnt-out thrice-Oscar nominated mess, are a lot more enjoyable than they’ve any right to be. In her eagerness to prove once again that she’s something more than Poor Val, she overlooks his boorish behaviour and unsolicited advances — until he starts taking credit for work that she’s done. Then when he makes another pass at her, she fights him off and he ends up floating face down in the swimming pool. It's a bit like Sunset Boulevard given a #MeToo remix.Being a hundred-minute movie rather than a three-hour mini-series means “JR Returns” can’t keep as many narrative balls in the air as “Back to the Cul-de-Sac” or the DYNASTY reunion. All the stuff with JR is great fun. However, the secondary story, in which Bobby encounters a nice but dull woman, goes on a date with the nice but dull woman, and eventually goes to bed with the nice but dull woman, is nice but ... dull.More importantly, the movie puts JR truly back on top for the first time in years — maybe since before the Dream Season — and its main enjoyment is derived from watching him revelling in the sheer pleasure of being JR Ewing. By the final scene, he’s got Bobby back in the oil business, John Ross back at Southfork and Sue Ellen back in his bed. They think they’ve put one over on him, but this is what he’s wanted all along — ever since Michelle took over Ewing Oil midway through Season 13, in fact. “I need our family, the family we used to have,” he told Bobby back then. And this is as close he can get to it.For all the looking back, there some notable contemporary references in all three shows. Jeremy Van Dorn mumbles something about “so-called global warming” on DYNASTY, making him possibly Soap Land’s first-ever climate change denier. Meanwhile, Arlen Marshall uses his wife’s apparent eating disorder against her during a marital spat: “You’re looking anorexic, skin and bone. You have no ass. Every year there’s less and less of you.” When Christopher Ewing calls him in England to break the bad news about JR, John Ross brags that he’s “on the internet with some chick in New York.” Christopher later lectures his cousin on the perils of promiscuity. “Haven’t you ever heard about AIDS?” he asks. “Haven’t you ever heard about safe sex?” John Ross counters. “Yeah, the fewer partners you have the safer it is,” replies Christopher primly. Over on KNOTS, Gary frets about Betsy’s desire to get her belly button pierced.Following DALLAS’s cherry pie close-ups and references to the Log Lady during its final season and Pierce Lawton’s Killer Bob impression during the KNOTS Season 13 cliffhanger, DYNASTY now pays its own belated homage to TWIN PEAKS by using a ceiling fan (another visual motif deployed unsettlingly by David Lynch) as the psychological trigger that transforms Nice Normal Krystle into Lean Mean Killing Machine Krystle.Trend of the Ewingverse Reunions: Illegitimate daughters (almost) finding out who their real daddies are. When Cliff Barnes and Gary Ewing finally come face to face with Pamela Rebecca and Molly Whittaker respectively, they each hesitate before tactfully introducing themselves as “an old friend of your mother’s.” Meanwhile, Meg overhears Mack yelling at Karen that he doesn’t want her to know that Greg Sumner is her biological father. Oops.And the Top 3 are …1 (-) DYNASTY2 (1) KNOTS LANDING3 (2) DALLAS</blockquote>

Verification: What month follows July?