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Message: <blockquote data-quote="James from London" data-source="post: 237650" data-attributes="member: 22">25 Mar 13: DALLAS: Guilt & Innocence v. 18 Nov 15: EMPIRE: My Bad Parts v. 27 Apr 18: DYNASTY: A Line From the PastJust as EMPIRE recently did with Hakeem’s kidnapping, DALLAS takes a familiar Soap Land incident — in this case, a miscarriage — and puts a C21st spin on it. Having been badly injured in the explosion on Christopher’s rig, pregnant Pamela is rushed to Soap Land Memorial Hospital where the family wait anxiously for news and mention is made of “the best neonatologist in the state.” So far, so traditional but instead of a simple “she lost the baby” followed by lots of tears, Pamela’s situation is more complicated and spans the entire episode. “The trauma from the explosion caused an abdominal aortic aneurysm,” her doctor explains. She needs surgery before the aneurysm ruptures or she will die. However, her blood pressure needs to stabilise first. When the doctor recommends terminating the pregnancy so she can operate safely, Pamela becomes hysterical. “You’re not killing my babies!” she cries. In the event, the operation goes ahead and is a success. “They all made it,” the family are informed. “The babies went through a lot of stress … but they’re all stable.” Everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief and so are completely unprepared when matters take a sudden turn for the worse in the final minute of the ep. Alerted by a “Code blue!”, Christopher and John Ross race to Pamela’s room to find her screaming and writhing in agony as doctors and nurses scramble to save the lives of her unborn twins. “Heart rate’s dropping on Baby A!” “Heart rate’s dropping on Baby B!” Everything goes slow motion as the chaos unfolds. We watch on monitors as the babies’ heart rates drop inexorably before stopping completely. This serves to make their deaths feel more tangibly tragic than the average Soap Land miscarriage (just as Hakeem’s post-traumatic reaction to his abduction made it seem more real than a regular TV kidnapping). The journey of the twins’ condition in this episode — from imminent danger to apparent safety to abrupt relapse and tragedy — mirrors what happened both to Cody LeFever’s unborn baby on last season’s BLOOD AND OIL (it survived her brutal attack but then died anyway) and Michael Culhane’s father on this week’s DYNASTY. “[Cristal] got my father onto this clinical trial and the doctors are optimistic,” a relieved Michael tells Fallon early on in the ep. “It’s the best news we got since he got sick!” Near the end of ep, Cristal finds him slumped in shock outside his father’s room. “My dad passed away,” he tells her. “He had a weak immune system because of the drugs. He got an infection.”Alongside the exploding Ewings, Judith Ryland is admitted to Soap Land Memorial with a broken leg following her did-she-fall-or-was-she-pushed tumble down the stairs last week. As a result, almost the entire episode takes place in the hospital, providing ample opportunity for various Rylands and Ewings to run into one another. (This medical spin on the “When Storylines Collide” convention is strongly reminiscent of the opening episode of ‘80s DYNASTY’s third season where Blake Carrington and Cecil Colby were simultaneously admitted to Soap Land Memorial following entirely separate life-threatening incidents.)The Ryland power games continue as soon as Judith regains consciousness until, just one week after Liam Ridley/Jack Lowden flew out of New DYNASTY, a sedated Judith exits Soap Land via a private ambulance. “Where are you taking me?” she woozily asks one of her attending medics. “To the rehab facility, Mrs Ryland — remember?” one of them replies before exchanging an evil look with her colleague who is busy injecting Judith’s IV with something sinister-looking. If last week’s fall down the stairs had echoes of FALCON CREST Season 3, then this scene hearkens back even further, to Michael Tyrone-era FLAMINGO ROAD.Fortunately, both Liam and Judith will return, but in the meantime, we have some fresh faces to replace them, all of whom have ties to the existing characters’ pasts. The most famous of these is Lee Majors who plays Ken Richards on DALLAS. Ken is an old boyfriend of Sue Ellen’s from her Miss Texas days who lost her to JR — a bionic Clint Ogden if you will. As good as it is to see Steve Austin, the highlight of this week’s DALLAS is undoubtedly the return of Afton Cooper, in her new role of Pamela’s clucky mother. She’s more eccentric than we remember, like a cross between Lilimae Clements and Dolly Parton but with a sharper tongue than either. She insists on serenading her bedridden daughter with a verse or two of ‘Mockingbird’, has little good to say about either Cliff (“a mean drunk”) or Christopher (“I know the explosion was your fault … just stay away”) and seems quite taken with John Ross. “You’re even more handsome than your father and, I’m guessing, smarter — nicer too. Still a touch of the devil,” she notes appreciatively. Neither Bobby nor Sue Ellen has much time for her, the latter referring to her as “that social climber”. Over on EMPIRE, Cookie seems to feel the same way about her previously unmentioned sister Candace who pops up unexpectedly. “If seventeen years of prison has taught you anything,” Candace tells her sniffily, “it’s definitely how to dress like a monkey and talk like a pimp.” “You know I never did like your fake ass, Candace — looking down your nose at me like you ain’t from the same hood I’m from, married to your white man,” Cookie replies. Candace (who insists on calling Cookie by her real name of Loretha) brings news of their other sister, Carol, who has abandoned her kids and is “on a bender”. (In other relapse news, Sue Ellen is still secretly drinking, but manages to both flirt and talk business with Ken Richards at the same time. After all these years, DALLAS has finally realised the value of making Sue Ellen a functioning alcoholic.) There’s more long-lost relative action on DYNASTY where Anders reveals to Sam that he was once married and has a daughter, Kirby, living in Australia. Sam is as shocked by this news as viewers of ‘80s DYNASTY were when they realised the original Joseph (“the impotent voyeur”) likewise had a family: “Whoa — you were married?? I had always pictured you like a nun, but instead of Jesus you’d sworn yourself to the Carringtons.” We get to hear Kirby’s Aussie accent for ourselves when a tipsily sentimental Anders phones her for the first time in years before losing his nerve and hanging up.Afton and Kirby aren’t the only famous names from ‘80s Soap Land to resurface this week. Bobby also receives news of Pam (or “Christopher’s mother,” as he describes her to Ann to help differentiate her from New Pamela). According to a detective's report, she was last seen entering Abu Dhabi in 1989. “I thought you were done with her, Bobby,” says Ann nervously. “So did I, Annie,” he replies. Back on DYNASTY, Soap Land’s other missing person appears on Steven’s motel room doorstep. “Adam?” Steven asks in surprise. And why stop at one long-lost Carrington when you can have two? Throughout this week’s DYNASTY, Alexis has a series of soft-focus flashbacks to 2007 (not quite as evocative as those KNOTS flashbacks to ’68 in which she played her own mother) which build up to her telling Jeff Colby that he’s “one of them — you’re a Carrington, Jeff.” While such an outlandish announcement is always fun to hear in Soap Land, this one might have had more impact if Jeff was a better-developed character, instead of just being rich, black and vengeful.After Fallon learns that Cristal has taken an interest in Michael’s father's condition, her suspicions are aroused and it doesn’t take long for her to find out about the Clarke County cover-up. Gratifyingly, she takes the situation seriously and even sides with Cristal against her father. However, when the story becomes about her stealing the evidence Blake is holding over Cristal, it loses its gravitas and turns into just another hi-jinks caper about secret combinations and Fallon hiding under a desk. Things get interesting again when someone leaks the cover-up to the press. Blake, Cristal and Fallon all suspect each other, but eventually, Alexis reveals that she was responsible.To varying degrees, the Carringtons, Lyons and Ewings all come under public scrutiny this week. For the Lyons, the publicity is entirely self-generated. “Sometimes the only way to get someone’s attention is to hit them in the head with a sledgehammer,” Lucious tells Becky before declaring war on his youngest son in a room full of blogging, tweeting clubbers: “I got a message I want to send to Hakeem — it’s uncut, it’s raw!” he announces as he introduces his protege Freda to perform a diss track in which she claims that Hakeem is, among other things, “Daddy’s little girl.” As Lucious intended, the song goes viral and Hakeem is furious. He vows to “show the world who the real Lyon is” by challenging Freda to a rap battle. The winner takes the Lyon surname.Meanwhile, Jamal has the chance at fronting an ad campaign for Pepsi (yes, Actual Pepsi), provided he can come up with the right song. As Actual Pepsi is actually involved, this opportunity is presented as the Greatest Thing Ever. Problems arise when Cookie and Lucious each come up with a great song idea — how can Jamal choose one parent over the other? Answer: he can’t. Instead, he attempts to amalgamate both ideas into one super-song. Cookie and Lucious are both against the idea and argue loudly (and amusingly) in front of a room of session musicians before, inevitably, Jamal gets his way and the super-song wins him the campaign.Hakeem and Freda’s rap battle is the centrepiece of the episode. Freda spits the best rhymes, but Hakeem’s showmanship ultimately wins over the crowd, who whip him up into such a frenzy that he takes his mic stand to a neon sign bearing his name and smashes the word “Lyon” to bits. “I’m dropping my last name. From here on out, I go by Hakeem,” he declares. A Soap Land son renouncing his father’s name — the closest thing to a precedent I can think of is ‘80s Jeff Colby almost allowing Blake to adopt him.Although Hakeem’s outburst is exciting, and Lucious and Cookie’s sparring is always entertaining, I worry that all this family feuding in an open arena comes at a price. If everyone’s free to say whatever they like wherever they like to whomever they like, there’s an inevitable loss of dramatic tension. All these gestures are so BIG, so public, I’m not sure where the characters can go from here but over the same ground. Perhaps this is the paradox at the heart of EMPIRE — the world’s first hip-hop soap opera. Unlike the other big Soap Land businesses, hip-hop is performative. The Lyons are in the fame game. For the family to acquire and maintain their wealth and power, they must both cultivate publicity and display themselves “authentically” though their music, i.e., sing and rap their “truth” to the audience. But if all the Lyon conflicts are playing out in public, they don’t have anything left to hide — and secrets are a crucial Soap Land ingredient.It feels a little weird to use New DYNASTY as an example of restraint, but the press conference Blake calls to address CA’s current scandal illustrates how much more interesting it can be when characters don’t throw their inhibitions to the wind and say whatever they’re thinking. With Cristal by his side, Blake (without actually admitting liability for the epidemic), announces that “Carrington Atlantic is moving full speed towards clean energy” and that he has chosen his daughter “to spearhead this initiative.” This is news to Fallon, and when he beckons her to join him and Cristal in front of the cameras, she has no choice but to comply. Michael watching the press conference on a hospital TV adds an extra dimension to the scene. “Come on, Fallon,” he mutters, willing her to speak out against her father. She doesn’t. Instead, Blake takes her by surprise again by announcing that she is Carrington Atlantic’s new COO. Cristal, he explains, “will be stepping down from day-to-day operations indefinitely to focus on family.” Cristal is as stunned as her step-daughter, but instead of smashing a neon sign with a mic stand, she is obliged to join Blake and Fallon for a group hug. Only later, in the privacy of her office, does she turn on Fallon, accusing her of scheming “to get the COO job you wanted from the moment I met you … To think that I was naive enough to believe you, to think that you would actually stand up to your father!” “ What did you want me to do,” Fallon asks, “scream bloody murder in the middle of a press conference?” That’s probably what Hakeem would have done.The C21st Ewings don’t seem to have the same media profile as either the Lyons or the Carringtons. Following the rig explosion, they do, however, come under scrutiny from Tesha, a Texas environmental health-and-safety watchdog thingy. A jobsworth representative visits the family at the hospital to inform them that Christopher’s negligence may have caused the explosion and they could be facing some heavy fines. The family close ranks against this outsider (“We are praying that my son’s babies don’t die and you pressure us? … Get the hell out of here!” snarls Bobby), but as soon he’s gone, John Ross turns on his cousin: “That explosion could have killed Pamela, it could have killed your babies!” Sue Ellen later points out to John Ross that “Ewing Energies is our shared liability.” In other words, if one Ewing goes down, they all go down together.Last season, Pamela found out she pregnant in the same Soap Land week that Cody miscarried on BLOOD AND OIL. Now, the loss of Pamela’s babies coincides with Anika discovering she is with child on EMPIRE. While the Lyon family wash their dirty linen onstage and in the media, Anika still has both a public and private persona and as such is currently the most interesting character in the series. When we first see her this week, she is alone in her bathroom, clearly distraught (i.e., wearing no makeup) while holding a pregnancy test in one hand and a kitchen knife in the other. Later on, she runs into the show’s other expectant mother, Andre’s wife Rhonda. Rhonda pretends not to notice she has been crying and invites her for a soul-cleanser smoothie. (No, nor me.) During their girly chat, Rhonda raves about being pregnant: “It’s honestly the happiest I’ve ever been.” Anika doesn’t let on about her own condition, but her ears prick up when Rhonda says that “babies are like Kryptonite for Lucious … After being completely iced by him for years, this pregnancy has changed everything.” By the time Anika visits Hakeem at his apartment, she is back to her usual poised and sexy self. She’s about to tell him her news when he drops a bombshell of his own: “Here’s the thing — I think I’m in love … I know it sound crazy, but I ain’t never feel this way in my life.” The object of his adoration is sweet virginal Laura, the newest member of the girl group he’s managing. “I still think you’re dope,” he assures Anika. “We still homies, right?” She’s all smiles and acts like everything’s cool.While all three shows have a shock ending — the loss of Pamela’s babies on DALLAS, Jeff turning out to be a Carrington on DYNASTY — the most unexpected of all is on EMPIRE. Following his rap battle victory party, Hakeem puts sweet little Laura in a cab and tells her to get home safe. He fails to notice that the cab driver is Anika, wearing a blonde Katherine Wentworth-style wig. “Buckle up,” she tells Laura. That's one I did not see coming.And this week’s Top 3 are … this was an especially tricky one. This week's DALLAS was great, but not as exciting as usual (situating nearly all of the ep in Soap Land Memorial resulted in a slight drop of momentum) while DYNASTY felt a bit anti-climactic after the thrills of last week’s ep. I really enjoyed EMPIRE as I was watching it, but writing about it has made me like it a little less. Hmmm …[ATTACH=full]22664[/ATTACH]1 (1) DALLAS (cos Afton)2 (3) EMPIRE3 (2) DYNASTY</blockquote>

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