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<blockquote data-quote="pete lashmar" data-source="post: 203729" data-attributes="member: 606">I&#039;d certainly heard rumours many years ago when I worked in the world of west end theatres so the announcement didn&#039;t come as a huge suprise.Coming out is very difficult though - when I came out I left a note for my mum saying I needed to speak to her that evening, I then came out (lots of tears) and she was just thankful that I wasn&#039;t on drugs. However, being the mid 80&#039;s she had big health concerns about it, as did the rest of the family. Thankfully it all went very well and didn&#039;t cause any issues at all.Having done it though, and knowing how painful it can be and feel I now feel very differently about it. As much as I worried I had many years of coming to terms with it before telling anyone - but my family had no warning, they were just faced with it head on.It&#039;s not just about telling people you&#039;re gay - you personally feel that you have let them down, that you&#039;re not normal, that your abnormality will impact on their lives and their friends - it&#039;s a terrible feeling of absolute despair and anxiety - and that&#039;s why it&#039;s so tough and so worrying to tell people.And that&#039;s where I really feel for Phillip&#039;s family. After 27 years of marriage (very happily by all accounts) my heart just goes out to them because their world has collapsed and will never be the same again.Yes they are being loving and supportive and I admire that hugely, but I can&#039;t help feeling that his wife is &quot;having&quot; to be positive about it because what are her other options?I sincerely hope they can genuinely stay happy and live their lives to full without recriminations or any problems in the future.As far as why he came out, I too have a feeling his hand was forced but we&#039;ll never know for certain.PS: Just to add - I read somewhere recently about coming out - no matter what LGBTQ+ you are, you are always coming out, throughout your life, new friends, new family, new work collegues etc etc etc, it&#039;s a never ending cycle that does get very tiresome.Hopefully the day when no one gives a damn gets nearer for us all.I wish Phillip and his family all the very best.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="pete lashmar, post: 203729, member: 606"] I'd certainly heard rumours many years ago when I worked in the world of west end theatres so the announcement didn't come as a huge suprise. Coming out is very difficult though - when I came out I left a note for my mum saying I needed to speak to her that evening, I then came out (lots of tears) and she was just thankful that I wasn't on drugs. However, being the mid 80's she had big health concerns about it, as did the rest of the family. Thankfully it all went very well and didn't cause any issues at all. Having done it though, and knowing how painful it can be and feel I now feel very differently about it. As much as I worried I had many years of coming to terms with it before telling anyone - but my family had no warning, they were just faced with it head on. It's not just about telling people you're gay - you personally feel that you have let them down, that you're not normal, that your abnormality will impact on their lives and their friends - it's a terrible feeling of absolute despair and anxiety - and that's why it's so tough and so worrying to tell people. And that's where I really feel for Phillip's family. After 27 years of marriage (very happily by all accounts) my heart just goes out to them because their world has collapsed and will never be the same again. Yes they are being loving and supportive and I admire that hugely, but I can't help feeling that his wife is "having" to be positive about it because what are her other options? I sincerely hope they can genuinely stay happy and live their lives to full without recriminations or any problems in the future. As far as why he came out, I too have a feeling his hand was forced but we'll never know for certain. PS: Just to add - I read somewhere recently about coming out - no matter what LGBTQ+ you are, you are always coming out, throughout your life, new friends, new family, new work collegues etc etc etc, it's a never ending cycle that does get very tiresome. Hopefully the day when no one gives a damn gets nearer for us all. I wish Phillip and his family all the very best. [/QUOTE]

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