Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="Frank Underwood" data-source="post: 441184" data-attributes="member: 35">If you invite someone out somewhere (be it male or female), it&#039;s reasonable to expect that person to pay unless otherwise discussed.&nbsp; If a person asks another person if they&#039;d be willing to split the check before the invitation is accepted, I think that&#039;s reasonable too.&nbsp; It&#039;s then up to the other person whether or not they&#039;re fine with that.&nbsp; My issue is with the idea that it&#039;s &quot;expected&quot; for men to always provide for women.&nbsp; To me, that&#039;s the misandrist version of saying women should always put out after a date.&nbsp; Women rightly don&#039;t want to be a sex object, and men shouldn&#039;t have to be a personal ATM.&nbsp; I see it as a form of mutual respect, but certain misandrist ideas are still deeply entrenched.As for finding a mate, the idea that it&#039;s a &quot;competition&quot; and the acquisition is a &quot;prize&quot; is such a cold reality.&nbsp; It&#039;s so far removed from the fantasy in my head as a kid.I remember being ten years old and thinking I was &quot;in love&quot; for the first time.&nbsp; Sex hadn&#039;t even crossed my mind at that age, so it had nothing to do with being a &quot;horny little bastard.&quot;&nbsp; I just happened to meet this girl while riding my bike in a church parking lot.&nbsp; She was from out of town and was visiting her grandparents.&nbsp; They lived in a townhouse behind the church.&nbsp; I never had a girl approach me and be friendly before, which was a new and exciting feeling.&nbsp; She was wonderful to talk to, and we hung out that entire weekend just talking, riding bikes, and swimming (her grandparents&#039; townhouse property had a pool).&nbsp; It was a fleeting moment in time, but it created a fantasy in my head of what being in a relationship should be like.&nbsp; She basically was what I like to call a &quot;good hang.&quot;&nbsp; In other words, she was a person I enjoyed being around and spending time with.I saw her again the following summer, and things immediately felt different.&nbsp; Another boy came around, and I sensed that she liked him more.&nbsp; I remember standing while riding my bike because the hard seat was uncomfortable, and she pointed out that I had a wedgie.&nbsp; Of course, the boy she announced it in front of laughed.&nbsp; That unnecessary moment of embarrassment was a blow to the fantasy I had.&nbsp; During my high school years, I saw girls being catty just for the fun of it, and getting a date was, in fact, pure competition.&nbsp; That&#039;s when I started to see that many relationships were a power play; &quot;what are you willing to give me in exchange for my time and affection?&quot;&nbsp; That never appealed to me.Fast forward 25 years later, and what I see on social media just makes it seem even more unappealing.&nbsp; The demands for a guy to be &quot;boyfriend material&quot; are endless from these social media influencer types, while they put forth absolutely little to no effort.&nbsp; Then there are the girls who viciously mock and belittle guys over male loneliness, depression, and even the male suicide rate, with many of them saying this is what men &quot;deserve.&quot;&nbsp; And yet we&#039;re supposed to pretend that all men are bad and misandry doesn&#039;t exist.Oh, goodness yes!&nbsp; I&#039;ve seen both miserable relationships where the people stuck it out, and the post-divorce bitterness that lasted decades.&nbsp; Who wouldn&#039;t want that?It&#039;s silly, I know, but I still think of the giddiness I had over my first crush at age 10.&nbsp; Now that I&#039;m in my 40s and have much more life experience, I know it couldn&#039;t have lived up to my expectations had it developed into an adult relationship.&nbsp; &quot;The melancholy way of the world&quot; is a great way to put it.&nbsp; Sadly, reality often fails to live up to our fantasies.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Frank Underwood, post: 441184, member: 35"] If you invite someone out somewhere (be it male or female), it's reasonable to expect that person to pay unless otherwise discussed. If a person asks another person if they'd be willing to split the check before the invitation is accepted, I think that's reasonable too. It's then up to the other person whether or not they're fine with that. My issue is with the idea that it's "expected" for men to [I]always[/I] provide for women. To me, that's the misandrist version of saying women should always put out after a date. Women rightly don't want to be a sex object, and men shouldn't have to be a personal ATM. I see it as a form of mutual respect, but certain misandrist ideas are still deeply entrenched. As for finding a mate, the idea that it's a "competition" and the acquisition is a "prize" is such a cold reality. It's so far removed from the fantasy in my head as a kid. I remember being ten years old and thinking I was "in love" for the first time. Sex hadn't even crossed my mind at that age, so it had nothing to do with being a "horny little bastard." I just happened to meet this girl while riding my bike in a church parking lot. She was from out of town and was visiting her grandparents. They lived in a townhouse behind the church. I never had a girl approach [I]me[/I] and be friendly before, which was a new and exciting feeling. She was wonderful to talk to, and we hung out that entire weekend just talking, riding bikes, and swimming (her grandparents' townhouse property had a pool). It was a fleeting moment in time, but it created a fantasy in my head of what being in a relationship should be like. She basically was what I like to call a "good hang." In other words, she was a person I enjoyed being around and spending time with. I saw her again the following summer, and things immediately felt different. Another boy came around, and I sensed that she liked him more. I remember standing while riding my bike because the hard seat was uncomfortable, and she pointed out that I had a wedgie. Of course, the boy she announced it in front of laughed. That unnecessary moment of embarrassment was a blow to the fantasy I had. During my high school years, I saw girls being catty just for the fun of it, and getting a date was, in fact, pure competition. That's when I started to see that many relationships were a power play; "what are you willing to give me in exchange for my time and affection?" That never appealed to me. Fast forward 25 years later, and what I see on social media just makes it seem even more unappealing. The demands for a guy to be "boyfriend material" are endless from these social media influencer types, while they put forth absolutely little to no effort. Then there are the girls who viciously mock and belittle guys over male loneliness, depression, and even the male suicide rate, with many of them saying this is what men "deserve." And yet we're supposed to pretend that all men are bad and misandry doesn't exist. Oh, goodness yes! I've seen both miserable relationships where the people stuck it out, and the post-divorce bitterness that lasted decades. Who wouldn't want [I]that?[/I] It's silly, I know, but I still think of the giddiness I had over my first crush at age 10. Now that I'm in my 40s and have much more life experience, I know it couldn't have lived up to my expectations had it developed into an adult relationship. "The melancholy way of the world" is a great way to put it. Sadly, reality often fails to live up to our fantasies. [/QUOTE]

Verification

What month follows July?