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Dynasty
The Colbys
Watching The Colbys for the First Time
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<blockquote data-quote="JROG" data-source="post: 3396" data-attributes="member: 43"><p>And, now, for the latest, newest review!</p><p><u></u></p><p><u>EPISODE 24: CHECKMATE</u></p><p></p><p>Shootings, plane crashes, falling down the stairs, arrests, rape pregnancies – THE COLBYS are not messing around. This is the season finale and, by God, you will know it! They’re giving MELROSE PLACE a run for its (plot-driven) money. It’s almost overkill, but who cares? It’s fabulous!</p><p></p><p>Fallon appears to be pregnant much longer than she anticipated. Unless she is really terrible at math (which, let’s face it…), her baby is a product of her rape from Miles! Ooooh, this is juicy! Yes, Fallon, lie about who that baby daddy is!</p><p></p><p>Zach is very fascinating in this episode. First he tells Jason that Sable never slept with him. At first glance, it appears as a plot-driven decision in order to justify Jason giving Sable the tape, but the writing seems to be implying that Zach truly has feelings for Sable. And because Sable really doesn’t need the tape to explain her affair was Jason's motivation, it works. After Zach realizes that Spiro was having nasty Bliss sex and trying to set him up, he throws him out, threatening to kill him or something.</p><p></p><p>L.A. is the land where people get out of life-ending predicaments with just a few scratches. Jeff fell down a damn cliff but didn’t even need to see a doctor. Sable gets shot in the head but the bullet barely grazes her. The only one whose injuries stuck were Connie's! Now Monica catches Neil in his swanky apartment having nasty Gail sex and cries so much that she forgets to make sure her plane has gas – and down she goes, but I bet she’ll get out of that crash with just a few pine needles stuck in her hair.</p><p></p><p>Post-surgery Sable wears an assortment of scratch-hiding turbans and learns Jason is <em>still</em> planning to marry Frankie (what the hell does he see in her?). "You take a bullet in your head very well," Connie notes, and then warns Sable that she is being a fool if she think she still has Jason. Claiming some random cruise with Hutch (whom she dumped half a season ago), Connie says what feels like forever goodbye and off she goes. Fucking Barbara Stanwyck, I’ll miss you if you never come back!</p><p></p><p>Connie was certainly right: Sable is nothing if not resilient. Following a DYNASTic tumble down the stairs, Sable is marvelously bruised but not in need of hospitalization or a doctor. Instead, she claims Jason beat her on his way to a nasty Caribbean divorce and Moretti finally has another false charge to level against the Colbys. "You’re a liar, and a cheater, and a beater and a killer!" Sable tells Jason in her best fur coat in the middle of an airport. Jason looks appropriately shocked, while Frankie seems mildly constipated, unsure whether Jason is a liar and a cheater and a beater and a killer or not. Cliffhanger!</p><p></p><p>DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JROG, post: 3396, member: 43"] And, now, for the latest, newest review! [U] EPISODE 24: CHECKMATE[/U] Shootings, plane crashes, falling down the stairs, arrests, rape pregnancies – THE COLBYS are not messing around. This is the season finale and, by God, you will know it! They’re giving MELROSE PLACE a run for its (plot-driven) money. It’s almost overkill, but who cares? It’s fabulous! Fallon appears to be pregnant much longer than she anticipated. Unless she is really terrible at math (which, let’s face it…), her baby is a product of her rape from Miles! Ooooh, this is juicy! Yes, Fallon, lie about who that baby daddy is! Zach is very fascinating in this episode. First he tells Jason that Sable never slept with him. At first glance, it appears as a plot-driven decision in order to justify Jason giving Sable the tape, but the writing seems to be implying that Zach truly has feelings for Sable. And because Sable really doesn’t need the tape to explain her affair was Jason's motivation, it works. After Zach realizes that Spiro was having nasty Bliss sex and trying to set him up, he throws him out, threatening to kill him or something. L.A. is the land where people get out of life-ending predicaments with just a few scratches. Jeff fell down a damn cliff but didn’t even need to see a doctor. Sable gets shot in the head but the bullet barely grazes her. The only one whose injuries stuck were Connie's! Now Monica catches Neil in his swanky apartment having nasty Gail sex and cries so much that she forgets to make sure her plane has gas – and down she goes, but I bet she’ll get out of that crash with just a few pine needles stuck in her hair. Post-surgery Sable wears an assortment of scratch-hiding turbans and learns Jason is [I]still[/I] planning to marry Frankie (what the hell does he see in her?). "You take a bullet in your head very well," Connie notes, and then warns Sable that she is being a fool if she think she still has Jason. Claiming some random cruise with Hutch (whom she dumped half a season ago), Connie says what feels like forever goodbye and off she goes. Fucking Barbara Stanwyck, I’ll miss you if you never come back! Connie was certainly right: Sable is nothing if not resilient. Following a DYNASTic tumble down the stairs, Sable is marvelously bruised but not in need of hospitalization or a doctor. Instead, she claims Jason beat her on his way to a nasty Caribbean divorce and Moretti finally has another false charge to level against the Colbys. "You’re a liar, and a cheater, and a beater and a killer!" Sable tells Jason in her best fur coat in the middle of an airport. Jason looks appropriately shocked, while Frankie seems mildly constipated, unsure whether Jason is a liar and a cheater and a beater and a killer or not. Cliffhanger! DDD [/QUOTE]
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Watching The Colbys for the First Time
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