Thank you so much for all your kind words. It is nice to know that my work is appreciated! :wink@ :thank:
I've written a another version of part 4. Some of it is identical to the first version. Some is new.
If you care to read it, please let me know which version you like the best!
PS. Make sure to thank Karin, because she's the reason that I had to find something useful to do with my time, now that she's taking a break in regards to updating her amazing fan fic, "Dallas in the 90s". Apparently, we're in between episodes now, so it'll be a bit before we can expect the next update from her! But if we all cheer her on, maybe the break will be very short?
Anyway, it's time to put on your reading glasses ... ...
Part 4 out of 4 (the second version)
Pam’s hospital room
Pam was resting in the bed in her private hospital room. She still couldn’t believe what the doctors had told her a while ago. Even though she was very tired after having spent an almost sleepless night, she still wasn’t able to fall asleep now. Her mind was in complete chaos at this point. And she wondered how Bobby would react once he found out about it all. Suddenly Pam heard the door to her room squeak a bit.
When Bobby opened the door to Pam’s hospital room, she was surprised yet happy to see him.
Pam: “
They called you?”, she said quietly.
Bobby nodded and quietly closed the door behind him.
Bobby: “
Well, Louise called me, since she hadn’t been able to reach Cliff or Katharine.”
Pam nodded and gave him a weak smile.
Bobby: “
I’m still your closest relative, until our divorce is finalized. If Louise hadn’t called, I’m pretty sure that the hospital would have attempted to get ahold of me.”
Pam: “
Thanks for coming”, she said with a weak smile.
They looked at each other, but neither knew what to say.
Bobby took a few steps into the room toward Pam’s hospital bed. He thought that she looked very tired, with dark shadows under her eyes. He could tell that she had been crying, but she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Bobby: “
Are you okay?”
Pam nodded at him in silence and then looked down at her hands.
Bobby: “
Sure?”
Tears began to slowly fall down Pam’s cheeks again.
Pam: “
No, not really … … I’ve made such a mess of my life. And I’m sorry, Bobby … … I’m sorry about everything!”
Bobby looked down and fought hard not to comment on what Pam had just said. He thought to himself that she
should be sorry for what she had done. After all, there was a baby on the way. Feeling the anger built up inside himself, he turned away and walked over to the window. He took a couple of deep breaths to try to keep calm. He had his back to Pam the whole time. “
Yelling at her won’t help anything at this point! And the doctor did say that she needed to rest”, Bobby thought to himself.
Bobby: “
I ran into the doctor outside. He explained the circumstances behind you being here. … … Listen, why don’t I call our lawyers and ask them to reschedule the divorce meeting until next week?”
Pam: “
Okay … … thank you”, she said quietly.
Bobby: “
Anything else that I can do?”
Pam: “
I don’t think so.”
Bobby: “
Well … … maybe I should leave then!”
Pam: “
Please stay! … … I need to talk to you!”
Bobby still had his back to Pam, as he continued to look out the window. He was hurting so much inside, thinking about her pregnancy. He remembered how much they had wanted children, and how much they had both hurt when Pam had miscarried, not once, but twice. “
Why do you want me here Pam? Hasn’t it all been said and done?”, he thought to himself, while fighting back the tears.
Pam: “
I wish that things could have been different, Bobby!”
Pam’s voice almost cracked as she had said those words. There was not only physical distance between them, but she felt the enormous amount of emotional distance as well. “
I wish that I could turn back time”, she thought to herself as she looked at Bobby, who still had his back to her.
Bobby: “
I wish that things could have been different too!”
Pam: “
I’m sorry for so many things, Bobby! … … I know that I hurt you when I left Southfork. … … I also know that we have had our differences over the last months. … … I feel so guilty. … … I never thought that it would come to this. … … If I could do everything over again, I would.”
Bobby closed his eyes, as he tried to take in what Pam had just said. It felt like his heart was about to break into two pieces. “
You brought this on yourself, Pam”, Bobby thought to himself, while he fought the tears that were building in the corners of his eyes.
Bobby: “
What’s done, is done. … … We can’t go back … … To tell you the truth, I just don’t understand why you did what you did … … And I probably never will!”
Pam could feel the resentment in Bobby’s voice, and she felt even more guilty about the whole situation.
After a few minutes of silence, where both Bobby and Pam were lost in their own thoughts, Pam finally decided to speak.
Pam: “
You know the day that we met at Thanksgiving Square?”
Bobby didn’t say anything, but simply nodded his head.
Pam: “
I never told you this, but I came to tell you that I was ready to try again!”
Bobby: “
Try what?”, Bobby almost whispered, since he was still fighting to get ahold of the inner turmoil he was feeling.
Pam: “
You know, get back together … … But before I could say anything, you told me that you were letting me go … … that it was time to realize that our marriage was over.”
Bobby couldn’t believe what Pam had just said. Given the circumstances, it didn’t make any sense to him.
Bobby: “
Well, I’m surprised. … … I was sure that you had no interest in getting back together.”
Pam: “
I always wanted to, but I just didn’t know if I could, Bobby! … … Things were very tense between us, when you were fighting for Ewing Oil, and I had just lost my mother! … … Anyway, I didn’t get a chance to tell you anything at all, before you said that you wanted to end our marriage.”
Bobby: “
But that was because of your letter!”
Pam: “
What letter?”
Bobby: “
The letter that you wrote to your lawyer. Katharine found it and insisted on reading it to me.”
Pam: “
Do you remember what was in it?”
Bobby: “
It pretty much said that you wanted out of the marriage. You didn’t want to divorce me, because you were afraid that it would hurt me. You were hoping that I’d let you go!”
Pam: “
Katharine read you this letter?”
Bobby: “
Yes. And despite how I felt at the time, I realized that you wanted a different life … A life that didn’t include me!”
Pam: “
Bobby, I never wrote a letter to my lawyer!”
Bobby: “
Well, maybe it was a first draft? Maybe you didn’t even send it?”
Pam: “
Bobby, I don’t know what Katharine read to you, but I never wrote such a letter!”
Bobby: “
Pam, I don’t understand!”
Pam: “
To be honest, I don’t either. I guess that Katharine is the only one who can clear up what exactly happened.”
Both Bobby and Pam were lost in their own thoughts, as they tried to comprehend the conversation that they had just had.
Even though Bobby was happy to hear that Pam supposedly had never written such a letter, it still didn’t change the fact that she had cheated on him with Mark Graison, and that there was a baby on the way.
Bobby contemplated what to say and do next.
Pam tried to make sense of the new stuff that Bobby had just shared with her. Why would Katharine read Bobby a letter that gave him the impression that Pam wanted to convince Bobby to let her go? Suddenly, Pam remembered the phone call that she had gotten from Afton while she was in France with Mark Graison. Afton had said that Katharine was trying to make a move on Bobby. Did this play a factor in all of this? Pam also thought about all the private conversations that she had shared with Kathrine about whether or not to get back together with Bobby. Pam couldn’t make any sense of it yet, but she was sure that once they both got a chance to speak with Katharine, the whole ordeal would be sorted out.
Bobby turned and looked at Pam. She looked so vulnerable as she was lying in the hospital bed. Pam felt his eyes on her and looked up. They both tried to read what the other one was thinking and feeling, but it was difficult at this point.
Bobby: “
Considering the circumstances, I’m still surprised that you came to Thanksgiving Square to tell me that you were ready to try again.”
Pam: “
What makes you say that?”
Bobby: “
Well, for one … … you have spent a lot of time with Mark Graison. In fact, I’m surprised that he’s not here with you at the hospital!”
Pam: “
What are you getting at, Bobby? Why should Mark be here?”, Pam asked quietly.
Bobby turned around and stared out the window again.
Bobby: “
Just forget it!”, he said quietly, as he remembered that Pam needed rest. He decided to save it for another day.
Pam wasn’t sure exactly what Bobby had referred to when he mentioned Mark Graison. But she decided not to take it any further now, since she and Bobby had just shared the first normal conversation in a long time, and she wanted to make the moment last a bit longer.
Bobby and Pam were once again lost in their own thoughts.
Pam decided that it was time to ease into the subject of her pregnancy. Supposedly, the doctor had already told him about her pregnancy, but Pam felt that they needed to talk about it. After all, there was no telling how long Bobby would stay.
Pam: “
I was so shocked when the doctors told me that I’m pregnant … I couldn’t believe it … … And when they said that I’m already in the second trimester, I just about fainted. … … I haven’t experienced any pregnancy signs at all … … at least that I was aware of … … but looking back now, I guess that I can come up with a few signs … … … … … … Bobby, you know … very few people know the exact day when their baby was conceived! I kind of like the idea that I’ll be able to share with the baby one day how he or she came to be!”
Bobby felt sick to his stomach just thinking about Pam and Mark together in bed. He closed his eyes and fought to regain control of himself once again. He didn’t respond to Pam, but just kept staring out the window.
Pam was very hurt that Bobby didn’t make any comments about the pregnancy. “
I thought that he would be over the moon about me being pregnant, but maybe he feels that the baby just complicates things in regards to the divorce?”, Pam thought to herself.
Pam looked at Bobby once again and began wondering, why he had had his back to her pretty much the whole time that he had been there. “
He hasn’t said anything about the baby I’m carrying … … It doesn’t make any sense to me, why he is acting this cold … … unless he really doesn’t want the baby after all … … The baby does complicate things, and maybe he just sees the baby as an obstacle that has come in the way of a swift divorce?”
Pam turned on her side in the bed and cuddled up. She closed her eyes and tried to work up the courage to say what needed to be said to Bobby.
Pam: “
Bobby, I would like for you to leave now. I want to be alone and get some rest”, she said, without giving away the emotional chaos that she was feeling inside. She just wanted him to leave now. It was too painful to have him around at this point.
Bobby was somewhat astounded. It felt like he all of a sudden came out of this fog that he had been in, and now he was back in reality. He turned around to look at Pam, but she had turned away from him.
Bobby: “
You want me to leave?”
Pam: “
Yes, I need to get some sleep”, she said, all the while she could feel the tears pressing behind her closed eyes.
Bobby put two and two together and concluded that she probably wanted him to leave before Mark’s arrival. Bobby could feel his stomach once again turn into a tight knot. Bobby took a few steps toward Pam’s hospital bed. She looked so beautiful as she laid there resting. Bobby was sad, because he figured that this most likely would be their last talk, before the divorce would be finalized next week.
Bobby: “
Alright, I’ll go … … Like I said, I’ll call our lawyers to reschedule”, he said sadly.
Pam: “
Just have your lawyer send the divorce papers to my lawyer. And I’ll sign them just as soon as I’m my feet again. I don’t see the need for a meeting to discuss the terms of our divorce, because I don’t want anything besides my personal stuff. You can see Christopher as much as you want. You can pick him up on weekends just like now. … … The same goes for this baby, when he or she is old enough to be away from me … even though you haven’t shown much interest in the baby so far. … … Maybe that will change? Maybe it won’t! Either way, I don’t have any intention of keeping your children away from you. … … … … … Skipping the meeting with our lawyers will speed things up, so you can get on with your life as a free man! The fact that I’m pregnant doesn’t have to be an obstacle in regards to the divorce! … … Now please leave, so I can get some sleep!”.
Pam had no idea where all those words were coming from. She was both surprised and shocked at herself. As she had said the last word, she could feel the tears beginning to roll down on her pillow. It had all been said now, and he now knew how she felt and how she wanted things done. She pulled the covers up some more, so that he wouldn’t see the tears. She was hurt, confused and angry at this point, and she just wanted Bobby to leave.
Bobby was almost traumatized listening to all the stuff that was coming out of Pam’s mouth. It completely caught him off guard. She said a lot in just a few seconds time, and it felt like his head was about to explode. One thing that he did pick up was that she had referred to the baby as their baby, which really puzzled him. “
There’s no way that the baby she’s carrying can be mine!”, he thought to himself.
Bobby: “
Pam … … I know that you need to rest, but this can’t wait. Are you sure that you want to fast forward the divorce at a time like this? … … You said the baby is mine? But it’s been almost six months since you moved out of Southfork? There’s no way that you can be more than half way through this pregnancy at this point! You’re not even showing yet! So how can the baby be mine?”
Pam: “
Do you honestly think that I would lie about something like that? Of course you’re the father of this baby!”. She couldn’t believe that he would even think of accusing her of lying!
Bobby: “
Honestly, Pam … I don’t understand, so you’re going to have to explain it to me!”. He needed to push her to come clean, even though it would hurt like hell to hear her talk about Mark.
Pam didn’t understand what Bobby was getting at all. She dried her tears and turned around in the bed to face him. When she looked in his eyes, she could tell that he was sincere!
Pam: “
You don’t remember the day when this baby was conceived?” She could tell that Bobby had no clue as to what she was referring to, so she continued: “
You don’t remember that night in my hotel suite when we made love … … about three months ago?”
All of a sudden, it hit Bobby. “
Oh my gosh, I’d forgotten about that night we spent together!”, he thought to himself. The morning after, he had been so hopeful that Pam and Christopher would move back to Southfork. And it had almost destroyed him when Pam had said that sex didn’t change anything.
Bobby: “
Oh my gosh, I’d completely forgotten about that. I’m sorry Pam … I really am … I was so hurt that you didn’t want to move back home with me that I just blocked that night out of my mind! It just hurt too much to even think about it!”
Pam could see that Bobby was being honest. And when she continued, her voice was more calm.
Pam: “
How could you not be the father of my baby? We’re married, and I’ve never cheated on you! … … … but I guess that you thought that it was Mark!”
Bobby lowered his head and nodded.
Bobby: “
Pam, I’m so sorry … I really am … when the doctor told me that you were pregnant, I thought that you had been unfaithful to me! … … Coming to see you after talking to the doctor, just about killed me! I wanted to yell and scream at you, but I knew that today wasn’t the day to argue. … … Pam, please forgive me … … I didn’t want to believe that you’d cheated, but at the same time I didn’t think that I could be the father … … I’m so sorry, Pam!”
Pam looked at Bobby and sighed. She signaled for him to come at sit by her!
Bobby walked slowly towards Pam’s bed and sat down next to her. At first, they just sat at looked into each other’s eyes.
Bobby: “
Our baby was conceived that night in the hotel?”
Pam gave him a weak smile and nodded. Their eyes locked, and somehow their hands seem to find each other. They both had tears in their eyes at this point. Instantly, Bobby knew that Pam was telling him the truth.
Pam: “
Our baby was made out of the love we shared on that night.”
Bobby leaned forward and took Pam into his arms. He held her tight for the longest time. And she hugged him back.
After some time, Bobby pulled away and tried to read into Pam’s eyes what she was feeling at this moment.
Pam: “
Bobby, I’m sorry for giving you reason to think that I would be unfaithful to you. I know that I spent a lot of time with Mark, but he was only a friend to me! We did kiss once, but that’s all. I felt so guilty, and I made it clear to him that I would never cheat on you. … ... … Bobby, please forgive me! You’re the only man that I love!”
Pam had tears in her eyes and prayed secretly inside that Bobby would believe her.
Bobby looked at Pam for several seconds without saying anything. Then he leaned forward and pulled Pam real close. While looking her in the eyes, he said: “
I forgive you, if you can forgive me!”
Pam smiled at him and nodded. They both had tears in their eyes and held each other even tighter than before!
Bobby: “
I still love you … … you’re the only woman for me … … I don’t want anybody else … … Like I said before, I only wanted to go through with the divorce, because it was what I thought you wanted.”
Pam: “
After searching my soul, I knew that I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I love you more than life itself. And my plan was to tell you just that at Thanksgiving Square, but … ….”
Bobby: “
Let’s sit down with Katharine one day in the near future, so we can get to the bottom regarding the letter that you said that you never wrote, okay?”
Pam: “
Okay.”
They smiled at each other. They could both feel the love and the special bond that they’d shared for years resurface.
Bobby: “
I love you so much!”
Pam: “
I love you!”
Bobby: “
And I don’t want a divorce!”
Pam: “
Me neither. I want us to be together always!”
Bobby smiled and said: “
Why don’t I call our lawyers and call off the whole thing? You may have to call yours after you’ve rested though, because he may not believe me!”, Bobby said humorously while he winked at her.
Pam smiled at Bobby and nodded. They still had tears in their eyes at this point. Bobby leaned forward, and their lips met. It had been so long, since they had shared such intimacy, and it felt wonderful. As their lips finally parted, they looked into each other eyes and smiled.
Bobby looked down at her stomach and asked where she was hiding their baby. Pam laughed and said that she had no idea, but that he’d better enjoy it while it lasted, since it wouldn’t be too long before it most likely would be impossible for him to reach all the way around her. Bobby laughed along with her and smiled. They talked about Christopher and how they imagined that he would react to the news that he was going to be a big brother soon. They felt blessed that happiness had found its way into their lives again.