What was the last film you watched?

[Willie Oleson]

Brussels By Night (1983)



A Belgian arty-farty road trip movie film in which nothing significants happens. There are characters in it and they do stuff but it all looks very random.
Let's take the bus, let's drink, let's ask questions answered with "why do you ask so many questions", let's take snapshots, let's go to a discotheque but we're not allowed to enter so then let's not do it.
The depressing and sometimes violent nature of the main character makes you wonder why there is a social connection between him and the other characters.
But that's the beauty of film because the simple answer is: they filmed it.
There's a lot of sightseeing to do, and thankfully it's all that boring random stuff that says so much more about the zeitgeist than the touristic spots (although, except for Manneke Pis, I'd be hard-pressed to name a touristic spot in Brussels).

Sometimes it reminded me of The Wiz but without songs, which is actually not true because main character Max performs Erma Franklin's Piece Of My Heart albeit in a drunken and aggressive way.
Come to think of it, it's more like Elizabeth Taylor's best and most haunting film The Driver's Seat (1974) which I'm going to rewatch in glorious 4K once I got myself a blu ray player. The difference is that we know the motivation of Taylor's character.
Max in Brussels makes telephone calls throughout the entire film but those calls are never answered. It implies that it's always the same number and that it has something to do with his reckless and irrational behaviour. He's married but his wife is not in the film and he doesn't want to talk about her.

Then something unexpectedly shocking happens and I thought that was the film's Jeanne Dielman moment. It gave me a false sense of relaxation because I expected those last 5 minutes to peter out until the end credits started to roll.
Talk about pulling the rug from under this viewer's feet. It may be the darkest ending in film I've ever seen in my entire life, even darker than The Vanishing or Mr. Goodbar. It made me rewatch the whole story in a flash.
It's a wonderful film if you're in the mood for something less Hollywood. I watched it on netflix but there's also a subtitled version on YT.

My key challenge with it at the time was that in a number of ways it didn't feel as old-fashioned as the others

I haven't seen the other W&G films but I know what you mean. It looks like it should happen in the 101 Dalmatians era.
The claymation looks good, but there's a slight interference with my visual perception. I also can't sit in a chair that leans back without getting dizzy.
You know, the car-sick kid. Not that it ever impressed my dad who always smoked inside the car even if it was to get to the other side of the street.

it's the clay that's the star, which is why the show is well and truly stolen by two familiar non-speaking characters: Feathers McGraw and Gromit

When I checked the cast list I didn't see anyone as the voice of Feathers McGraw. Then the penny dropped.
"Select all images with cheese in it".
There are no other W&G films on netflix, unfortunately, but they've got some Shaun the Sheep stuff. Is it funny?

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Then something unexpectedly shocking happens and I thought that was the film's Jeanne Dielman moment. It gave me a false sense of relaxation because I expected those last 5 minutes to peter out until the end credits started to roll.
Talk about pulling the rug from under this viewer's feet. It may be the darkest ending in film I've ever seen in my entire life, even darker than The Vanishing or Mr. Goodbar. It made me rewatch the whole story in a flash.

How very intriguing.

When I checked the cast list I didn't see anyone as the voice of Feathers McGraw. Then the penny dropped.

Ha.

There are no other W&G films on netflix, unfortunately

Oh, that's a shame. They're all worth watching. The other full-length W&G film, The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit is great fun.

they've got some Shaun the Sheep stuff. Is it funny?

I'm not as familiar with Shaun as W&G. I have watched the original Shaun film but it was about a decade ago and I can't remember much about it. As a general rule, though, most of Aardman's stuff is very good. Chicken Run is worth a peek, if I remember correctly.

 

[James from London]

there's also a subtitled version on YT.

So there is! I've just added it to my "Things to Watch on YouTube" list. Speaking of Watching Things on YouTube, I've finally completed the first season of Savannah (good fun, very dumb) and now it's movie-time again. I'm going with Scarlet Street, a film noir starring Elizabeth Collins off of Dark Shadows, Eddie Jacks off of Peyton Place and Edward G Robinson off of films.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

I've finally completed the first season of Savannah (good fun, very dumb)

Was this your first time watching it? I enjoyed it a lot back in the day (Friday nights, 8pm on ITV), but never watched beyond the first season.

 

[Willie Oleson]

I recently saw Joan Bennett in a veeery old romcom playing opposite Spencer Tracy. It's got that spitfire old-fashioned American English that I find impossible to understand completely (with or without subtitles) but it always sounds great. It's a miracle that they could remember those lines and perform them in sync with the scenes they were playing (even more so since she couldn't remember half of her lines in Dark Shadows).

 

[James from London]

Was this your first time watching it? I enjoyed it a lot back in the day (Friday nights, 8pm on ITV), but never watched beyond the first season.

Yes, first time. I never realised it had such a prominent time slot back in the day, but then ITV did like to move its American soaps around from region to region. Gary Ewing's in Season 2 so that'll be interesting, but I think I'll have a break before getting back into it.

I recently saw Joan Bennett in a veeery old romcom playing opposite Spencer Tracy. It's got that spitfire old-fashioned American English that I find impossible to understand completely (with or without subtitles) but it always sounds great. It's a miracle that they could remember those lines and perform them in sync with the scenes they were playing (even more so since she couldn't remember half of her lines in Dark Shadows).

Yes, I'm so used to seeing Joan Bennett being all matronly and dignified and getting her lines in a complete muddle that it's quite a shock to see her being young and sexy and rattling off her dialogue while flicking cigarette ash everywhere and spitting grape seeds halfway across a room.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Gary Ewing's in Season 2

He is, and married to Linda Fairgate's mother.
The story's setup limits it as a soap opera though not as severe as Revenge. I enjoyed most of it but I think two seasons was precisely enough.
Nineties TV is tricky, I find. A few years ago I rewatched Central Park West and Sisters and I recognised why I loved it at that time, but the magic could not be recaptured.
Maybe it's better to keep Savannah as a happy memory.

 

[Willie Oleson]

The Lost Daughter (2021)



I think this is very much a "swimming pool" drama, which deserves to be a genre imo. These films are more about atmosphere, underlying tension and awkwardness that expose the characters in a quasi-mysterious but also unflattering way.
Literary translator/analyst Leda (Olivia Colman, and Jessie Buckley as her younger version) is impulsive and socially unskilled. She's not rude or bad, but her jokes never land and she doesn't know how to "read" people (ironically).
There is nothing particularly likeable or interesting about her but those flaws are not sold as "quirk". It's the story of a woman who could be any woman rather than an entertainer, and that makes it interestingly uncompromising to watch.
The moments of tension - sometimes hinting at danger - when she interacts with certain characters are very recognisable even though there are no true villains in this story.
Sometimes it's unclear who's the weird and untrustworthy person, it's all about the unknown and reading between the lines. Shades of We Need To Talk About Kevin.
Leda's past is relevant in the present time although it takes some time to get there.
There are lots of flashbacks with some red herrings in the first ones. I think this film didn't need that kind of trickery because everything else is so brutally honest.

Ed Harris proves once again to be a very reliable supporting actor. It's not a "big" performance but his mere presence gives the scenes more oomph.
I'm not surprised to see that this film was made by Maggie Gyllenhaal. She had previously acted in some terrific indie dramas like The Kindergarden Teacher and Secretary, and also as brother Jake's on-screen sister in Donnie Darko.
She knows this stuff and I hope there's more to come.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

The Final Destination (2009)

This was really a cynical box-ticking exercise. When I rewatched the first three films back in 2022, this one was unavailable, so I skipped to a first-time watch of the fifth film. While I haven't particularly felt I was missing much, the completist in me was aware of a gap.

Even though I saw the first film, and I think the first couple of sequels, in the cinema, the poster for this film feels like the one that I remember seeing more than others on billboards and the side of buses. I suppose it was heavily-promoted. While I haven't read much about the film, the little I'd seen and heard suggested this was the weakest of the franchise. Expectations were low because of this and I'm glad they were because I wasn't as disappointed as I could have been.

I wasn't expecting sophistication or nuance, but I probably could have been more prepared for the gimmicky direction to make the most of the 3D format. Watching in standard two dimensions it's just distracting. Burst tyres, shrapnel and explosions invariably fly out towards the screen - occasionally effectively so, but mostly it just feels samey. And of course there's a gratuitous sex scene with 3D tits jiggling.

Death sequences have an equally sledgehammer approach. There's the usual random stuff all happening at once but this time mostly meaningless. They even try for another blink-and-you'll-miss-it instant shocker à la Terry in the original. It doesn't work.

The premonitions, too, are clunky. This is established very early on when - after the initial premonition - the precognitive character begins pointing out every single detail before it happens. This instantly takes away any question of whether or not the character is imagining things or simply experiencing déjà vu (this is a failing of most - perhaps all - of the sequels). There's no sense of isolation for the character, who instantly has his own little Scooby gang to help him work things out. Naturally, they almost instantly read about Flight 180, but the only real connection is a very poorly mocked up article printed off by a character. I will give the film credit for getting me with a second premonition sequence that I accepted in the context of the story.

I realise I keep referring to "the character", which is telling when it comes to the level of characterisation in this film. 3D the action may be, but the same cannot be said for the characters or actors. Names are incidental and I didn't really pick any up. They're mostly glorified extras, reenacting the franchise's past glories (the only face I knew was One Tree Hill's Shantel VanSanten, but watching in this post-2017 era I struggled to get past how similar her facial features are to those of Meghan Markle). The initial tragedy has little emotional resonance for the characters, barring the perfunctory lines about trying to move on with their lives or whatever. Performances fall mostly into the range of workaday but this isn't art and the writing hardly invites depth. Most of the core crew seem defined by a single characteristic ("the racist redneck", "the one who constantly wants to get laid", "the thoughtful one") but even this only really applies to the male characters. The women are almost indistinguishable from one another (especially the dark-haired friend and the dark-haired mother. They even cleared their throats in identically irritating pitches).

The positive to come from the lack of character is that there isn't a character who irks as much as, say, FD1's Carter, or FD5's Peter.

Despite the ambition of the concept, the film feels cheaper than most in the series, which might be down to the dull direction (incidentally, director David R. Ellis would himself die in mysteriously unexplained circumstances a few years after this).

I never realised it had such a prominent time slot back in the day, but then ITV did like to move its American soaps around from region to region.

Funnily enough, the first season was broadcast simultaneously across the whole ITV network and I think it performed decently. Then they gave up and went back to the regional variations with Season Two, which is why I never ended up watching it. Either it wasn't shown in my region, or it was shown much later and tucked away somewhere where it couldn't be found.

A few years ago I rewatched Central Park West and Sisters and I recognised why I loved it at that time, but the magic could not be recaptured.

CPW is another where I followed the first season and then somehow missed the second, apart from stumbling upon a couple of scenes several years later (it looked as though it had become too shallow and bonkers even for me).

 

[Willie Oleson]

Wild Things (1998)



Speaking of Savannah and Central Park West, here we have a neo-noir for the Melrose Place generation that revels in its crowd-pleasing trashiness.
Cape Fear, this ain't.
It's a rewatch with several decades between this and the first time I watched it, and it's kinda funny to recognise all the names in the opening credits.
These days I have no idea who is who, and actors don't do stage names anymore even if their real names are impossible to pronounce.

Theresa Russell plays Denise Richards' filthy rich mother and Matt Dillon reprises his role of the murderous sleazebag from that other nineties A Kiss Before Dying remake.
It's really just plot twist after plot twist and then some, with very little attention to atmosphere and acting performances.
They even pay homage to "Bobby in the shower" played in full frontal by Kevin Bacon, the only time the film goes the extra mile, as it were.

Bill Murray (as Dillon's lawyer) questions Neve Campbell's character who is the second girl to accuse Dillon's Sam Lombardo of rape.
In that courtroom scene he introduces a question with "Let me ask you a question, Miss Toller", and the whole film is of that dialogue on a post-it level.
Of course I already knew it was a guilty pleasure but it's a bit more lowbrow than I remembered. Still, it's fun to watch a bunch of familiar 80s and 90s faces in this Do They Know It's Neo-Noir? vehicle.

There's the usual random stuff all happening at once but this time mostly meaningless

At some point they stopped paying attention to the events that result in these fabulous freak accidents.
It always looks best when it looks like something that can be prevented before it escalates, with just enough opportunity to cheat the curse. Then the pleasure comes from watching them fail.
But when objects start to move by themselves or when the characters are placed in an extremely dangerous situation then it's "anything goes" and waiting for the kills to happen. And I find that very boring.

*1998

 

[Willie Oleson]

Le Corbeau (1943)



Gosh, this poison-pen letters mystery looks surprisingly decadent for a film made in 1943.
There's plenty of relatively obscene language in this story about sexual desires, adultery, abortion, drugs - even sex with a 14 y/o girl is considered a possibility. It's Peyton Place on steroids.

The reviews on IMDB read "dark, suspenseful, chilling, noir" but personally I didn't see much of that.
All the whimsical and very bitchy humour made it impossible for me to take any of it too seriously, but I enjoyed it very much for what it was.
The non-stop dictation test was hilarious.
Le Corbeau is energetic, sharp and sometimes brutal, and in fact a dark comedy that could be made today. All they'd have to do is to update the dialogue a little bit.
I haven't seen Wicked Little Letters so I don't know how it compares.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story Of Fire Saga (2020)



I had heard of this film only once and later I couldn't remember if it was real or something I dreamt.
Because this being about Eurovision I expect it to be very attention-grabbing, and apparently lots of people have enjoyed this film and its soundtrack, I simply wasn't aware of it.

Of course it would be pointless to parody the contest as we know it today, and if you're looking for a laugh-out-loud comedy then this isn't the one.
It's a feel-good film with a few funny moments here and there and my experience was the opposite of watching Mamma Mia!
This time I bought into it, in fact so much that I was disproportionately moved by it.
It's possible that the sheer simplicity and predictability of this film caught me off guard, or is my emotional connection with Eurovision still intact despite not having watched the last two or three contests?
Possibly a bit of both, because this is definitely not the film that should make me cry, and that's what happened. I had taken a painkiller shortly before watching Eurovision - I don't even remember why - and since that always relaxes me it may be another element to factor in!

The characters are enjoyable, especially the Icelandic community (half of it fathered by Pierce Brosnan's character) and it was fun to watch Bradley Cooper performing as the sleazy Russian contestant. Only to find out in the end credits that it was Dan "Downton Abbey" Stevens.
Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams are not all convincing as Europeans and I'm sure that is the point of the comedy act, but Rachel's Sigrit often looks too generic for my taste. I would never have guessed that she played a Scandinavian if they hadn't told me.
Ferrell's roast of the American characters is cringe, I guess you could say so-bad-it's-good. It works better when the American tourists "confirm" the reason to roast.

Lars: Go find yourselves a Starbucks!

Americans: Where is it?

Then the music. Wow, how did they manage to make it sound so good (by modern ESC standards)? Too bad it wasn't a real contest.
But maybe that's it. Maybe Eurovision needs a more professionally-competitive American attitude to make it a true song contest again, instead of torturing European audiences with exhausting and social-messaging ballads or clownish acts that are trying too hard to be novel or avant-garde.

All in all, a generic and somewhat funny feel-good movie that had a profound effect on me, for reasons I have yet to determine.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Local Hero (1983)

​

I couldn't swear, but I think I stumbled upon this in the "BAFTA Winners" section of Prime (or perhaps a more general "Award Winners" section). The solicit synopsis was enough to charm me:

A cynical, yuppy oil-firm executive (Peter Riegert) is dispatched to a small Scottish coastal town by his greedy boss (Burt Lancaster), with the aim of buying up land for commercial exploitation, so destroying an area that includes a stretch of environmentally sensitive coastland.

The mixed cast alone was enough to lure me in. A future Doctor, along with Mr Mackay himself and some bewildered Americans.

Peter Capaldi is gloriously childlike and eccentric. His awkward, flailing run put a smile on my face every time. He did everything but extend his arms and make aeroplane noises.

Fulton Mackay's IMDb page has a trailer for this film at the top. Not his iconic Porridge role. Not even Fraggle Rock. Local Hero. Here he plays an optimistic homeless free spirit, very similar to the last role in which I watched him: a guest-appearance in Shelley, from the very same year this film was released.

The rest of the cast is filled with actors I confuse with other actors. I often get my Jenny Agutters and Jenny Seagroves confused. Likewise, I saw the name "Burt Lancaster" and immediately pictured Burt Reynolds. Finding the lead actor familiar I checked his name in the credits and then thought he looked somewhat different to how he was in Aliens a few years later, but it turned out Peter Riegert is not Paul Reiser. I was also convinced I saw Geraldine James among the throng in the pub, but I'm pretty sure I was wrong about that, too.

After watching I took a peek on this thread to see if anyone else had watched, and Willie didn't let me down:

there are films I fall in love with. Off the top of my head: Brief Encounter, Roman Holiday, Melody and Local Hero

I would compare 84 CCR to that other transatlantic story LOCAL HERO in terms of being uneventful, wholesome, soothing and also somewhat hypnotizing.

Yes it's a very captivating film that feels simultaneously prosaic and quirky. The plot quickly takes a backseat to the characters, which then informs the plot as they win over the visitor from another land. The quirky Scottish locals all conspiring to make the best of this situation and get what they can from it reminded me very much of Whisky Galore! (and I mean the 1949 version since I have never watched the 2016 remake).

There's a scene in the film that suddenly took a dark turn which I found quite shocking, and it made this cosy, uneventful film seem less safe, and almost as though anything could happen (clue: it's served up for dinner).

The wackiness with Happer and his abusive therapist was almost unnecessary, but it gave some fun moments, particularly with the sign business on the window of Happer's high rise office.

Mac gradually becoming assimilated into the culture and community was nice to watch. Little wins like being able to pronounce Urquhart all added up. And the way others respond to him is what makes this worth seeing. His "swapsies" offer to Gordon is out there, but it's Gordon's nonchalant response that gives it wings.

I'm surprised to read this film has a 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes since it doesn't feel as though it has mass appeal (admittedly, though, 42 reviews is probably far from "mass").

 

[Willie Oleson]

The Young Ones (1961)



This popped up suspiciously right after watching the Eurorvision film and, because I almost never watch musicals and also because I had not seen a young Cliff Richard in anything, I decided to give it a try.
But what makes a musical a musical? I've seen many films with musical performances in it (the characters are aware that it is performance) and then there are musicals in which the songs seem somewhat "isolated" from the rest of the film. It was only a few years ago that I discovered that Willy Wonka is considered a musical.
The animated world of the Disney classics is so fantastical that the music-reality of the songs doesn't even apply - and again, I've always thought of them as stories with songs in it, rather than musicals.

To me, films like The Young Ones is the most definitive version of a musical, and it just doesn't appeal to me at all. I do very much admire the athletic and meticulously choreographed part of it (and that's not just in the dance routines) but in the context of "watching a film" I don't find it particularly enjoyable.
The plot of the story is weak and it's devoid of conflict. At any point in the story they could have said "we don't need a clubhouse because as long as we are young and stay together then that's all that matters".
The villain threatens to cancel their musical world and then they have to perform a musical in order to stay a musical. Actually, that sounds better than it really is.

Even by early 1960s standards it looks incredibly naff and it made me wonder who the target audience was supposed to be. It's not for kids because they want chaos and to punish evil authority, and it's not sexy enough for youn adults.
The only answer I can come up with: Cliff Richard is in it, performing his songs-with-a-zing. But there's no zing in any other part of this musical.
I thought it was interesting that Cliff's only rock&roll number happens at the very end of the film. There's something sly about it, as if they had anticipated that it would be too late to be frowned upon after watching 98 minutes of non-rock music.
I'm pretty sure that the young female audience didn't have to "play" their hysterical reaction. Screaming fans are so funny to watch.
After watching this film I think that the Beatles wasn't just a wonderful thing that happened, they were a pop-culture necessity, while Cliff would continue his career in a very successful way.

Despite the bland story and characters-without-character I kept watching till the very end, and I think that has everything to do with the performers.
Even though not much acting is required I think Cliff Richard is convincing enough in his The Young Ones alter ego, and the whole cast looks very likeable.
Cliff is the singer but Teddy Green is the lead dancer, and I assumed that he was a big (but to me unknown) name in the British entertainment industry.
I thought I had seen him before but his IMDB page proved me wrong, therefore it's likely that I confused him with someone else. Jacques Dutronc, perhaps?
Teddy starred with Pamela Franklin in Quick Before They Catch Us (1966) and the description of that series reminds me of the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys series (which I also haven't seen).

Carol Gray is pretty and serviceable as Cliff's co-star but apparently her singing voice was dubbed by someone else. Cliff's idea to cast Helen Shapiro in the role of Toni would certainly have boosted my interest to watch this film.
I previously described The Young Ones as being sexless but I should not overlook the appearance of the voluptuous Dorinda Morell played by Sonya Cordeau (?) who looks like a red-haired Diana Dors.
Robert Morley is actually quite funny as the ruthless tycoon in the fabulously purple/mauve colour schemed residence - and there are several funny details played by the supporting cast in smaller roles.
It's still not my thing but I don't regret watching it.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Plots With A View (2002)

I had no awareness of this film, for which I blamed myself until I read this article after watching:

"We discovered that Plots had fallen foul of a political row between Miramax (the company formerly run by disgraced mogul Harvey Weinstein) and its parent company Disney.

"All of the movies made during that period – about seven in total – became the subject of an ownership dispute and got shelved. And, by the time things got resolved years later, our window of opportunity had closed."

The film was only released theatrically in Australia and at the time of writing had never even been shown on British TV. For the American market it was given the unimaginative title Undertaking Betty (an obvious attempt to draw parallels with the unrelated sleeper hit Waking Ned - which they also retitled), hence most of the poster images I could find online have the incorrect English language title. I settled on a French one.

The Prime thumbnail gave little away. A picture of two men carrying a coffin. I didn't even look closely enough to see that the two men are Alfred Molina and Christopher Walken, but I had deduced Brenda Blethyn was in it as an image of her face was revealed when I clicked into it. Walken is particularly surprising here, doing his usual Walken thing alongside stand up comedian Lee Evans in a little Welsh village.

There are plenty of other familiar faces. Robert Pugh - best known to me as Brookside's infamous siege gunman, but last seen in O'Dramavision playing an unrepentant antagonist in the brilliant Priest - plays an equally unapologetic sinner here, screwing his slattern secretary and confessing to his "dead" wife's body that he's carrying an onion to her funeral to fake tears when he's really happy that he's going to get a large inheritance to spend on his mistress. And playing the Welsh villagers are some terrific character actors (not all of them Welsh. Miriam Margolyes has a small-but-memorable dual role playing gossipy twin sisters with a spot-on South Walian accent).

Describing the film's tone is difficult. It's many things at once: a quirky black comedy about death and funerals; a poignant reflection of someone trapped almost comfortably in a life they wish had taken another direction; a pseudo-musical (there are several dance numbers, at least one of which breaks out into a fantasy sequence resembling a number from an MGM musical. Who knew Alfred Molina had these moves on him?); a heist movie about pulling off a daring crime; a revenge fantasy. The escape plot itself even reminds me of an episode of Tales Of The Unexpected that frightened the life out of me when I was young.

It could be argued that it's too many things, and the quirkiness will be off-putting to some. For what it's worth, I generally like my quirk in modest doses, but I found it worked well here, kept in proportion by the Welsh valleys backdrop. It's a place where people are unfazed by very much, which kind of right-sizes the impact.

I wouldn't call this an important film, nor a life-changing one. But it's really good fun, with great performances that sell its outlandishness. And just below the surface is a surprisingly heartfelt philosophical message told through weeds and flowers.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

The Baker (2007)

​

A natural film to follow Plots With A View, since it's another broad romantic comedy set in a Welsh village inhabited by eccentrics.

Some faces were kind of familiar, but there was only one I could place by name as I watched ("Ooh - is that Annette Badland?" It was). One of the most familiar-looking of these turned out to be the bloke from The Flying Pickets, looking almost the same as I remember him looking when they sang Only You.

Despite the love story angle and the earnest tagline "everyone deserves a second chance", the film can only be enjoyed by accepting that it's really quite a surface film. It doesn't have a great deal of heart, and one doesn't really care about the characters. The quirk levels are quite amped up, with scenarios such as exploding sheep, and a modest dash of gross-out humour here and there. There's one silly moment that sold the film to me: the exploding wife. As I realised the conclusion everyone was going to reach, I found myself becoming invested for a while in the anticipation.

For a film with this one's themes, it's disappointing there was no real edge. I was never in doubt that the ending would be anything other than daft and happy. With this accepted it's an enjoyable enough ride, even though I won't remember it by this time next week.

 

[Seaviewer]

Charlie's Angels (2019)
The most recent instalment of the franchise has the Angels expanded into a worldwide brand. I like that each version has its own team so that it pays like a chapter in an ongoing saga, with one glaring exception. I do not believe Patrick Stewart as the original Bosley, much less that . . .

Spoiler

he would ever go bad, much like the travesty that was Mr Phelps in the first Tom Cruise Mission: Impossible.

 

[ClassyCo]

JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE (2006)

It's one of those goofy teen comedies, but I had never seen it before a few days ago. I remember when it came out back in 2006. If memory serves me, this movie was heavily advertised because I recall the "John Tucker Must Die!" catchphrase being in all sorts of TV promotional spots back then.

Anyway, the basic plot of the movie is quite simple. A trio of girls, cheerleader Heather (Ashanti), liberal vegan Beth (Sophia Bush), and overachiever Carrie (Arielle Kebbel), have all been jilted by high school heartbreaker John Tucker (Jesse Metcalfe). They recruit the help of new girl Kate (Brittany Snow), and set out on their mission to make him pay for all the hearts he has broken. In the process, John redeems himself somewhat, and Kate ends up romancing his brother Scott (Penn Badgley).

The movie was alright. It has some funny moments, but I must admit that a lot of the acting seemed quite amateurish. They could've rehearsed a little more. But, even so, I enjoyed it and found it to be fun. Probably won't watch it again anytime soon, though.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

I'm pretty certain I have never watched this film before, but I couldn't swear to it. I'm certainly aware of much of it - possibly through osmosis - and I know I've more recently watched several key scenes out of context - most notably John Cleese's striptease interruptus, the torture-by-chips scene and the steamroller moment. So there weren't any big surprises, but much of it felt - and probably was - new to me. And very enjoyable it was, too.

It probably goes without saying that Cleese and Curtis are always solid and their pairing works really well. One stunt of John Cleese's - the dangling apology - looked particularly dangerous. This was before CGI took off, so no matter what camera tricked was used it's difficult to imagine this being done without some danger. My goodness, Jamie Lee had to snog a lot of different people here (including each of the three male leads at different points). And it looked as though she went for it every time. She's as charismatic and gorgeous here as I've ever seen her and she also looks amazing in glasses (I've tried on the same model as the round, red specs worn by JLC here, and they were not the most flattering to my features). Kevin Kline is enjoyably deranged, and I kept seeing Robin Williams. This film is my main association with his name, so I've not seen much of him. Michael Palin is great as well. Stammering is a condition that is rarely seen on film as anything other than a cheap laugh. This film is no exception, but I was surprised to read after watching that Palin's own father stammered and his role here informed the creation of The Michael Palin Centre For Stammering.

Having an awareness of the main players, it was the supporting cast that really shone for me. Take Maria Aitken (she's Jack Davenport's mother, don't you know) who is brilliant as John Cleese's wife, and earned that BAFTA nomination. In some ways she plays a more grounded, upmarket and realistic big-screen Sybil Fawlty - ignoring anything that's not about her own little world, which includes tuning out such boring trivialities as her husband trying to tell her about winning an important case. Her catchphrase, "Oh do shut up, Portia" is always aimed at her spoilt, horsey daughter who is essentially a mini version of herself (Portia, by the way, is played by the real-life daughter of John Cleese and Connie Booth). There's a scene which cuts between two different bedrooms - one in which Wanda and Otto have wild abandoned sex; the other in which Archie and Wendy silently undress to get into their twin beds, both practically unaware of the other. Wendy does hopefully take off her knickers though, only to resign herself to sleep when that, too, goes unnoticed. The hardest I laughed in the film was at Maria's impeccable delivery of Wendy's parting line to her husband: "You can stick this marriage right in your bottom." She was the best thing in this film.

Other familiar faces are Tom Georgeson, whom I recognised but struggle to place (I last watched him in an episode of Village Hall, probably remember him from Juliet Bravo, and I think he may also remind me of someone else); ever-reliable Geoffrey Palmer; Ken Campbell (recently watched playing Alf Garnett's neighbour, but best-remembered by me as Roger in The Anniversary episode of Fawlty Towers).

And then there's Patricia Hayes as the woman whose dogs keep getting squished. The falling block gave me the second biggest laugh of the film, and I refuse to feel bad about that no matter what this site says (animal cruelty only bothers me when there's a real animal in jeopardy off-screen for the sake of entertainment, but the site makes no mention of the on-screen real snake snuff in Friday The 13th or the real Tiger Sharks killed to order to use in Thunderball and Jaws and I therefore dismiss it out of hand).

This film ticks a lot of boxes. It's a heist movie. It's a black comedy about trying to murder an old lady. It's a study of class and cultural differences. It's even a bedroom farce. The scene where Cleese's wife returns home unexpectedly while JLC is seducing him and Kevin Kline is seething with jealousy, forcing the pair to hide in varous parts of the room is a contender for the best scene, nicely capped by Marjorie Aitken's scene-stealing crisp pronunciation of "Mr Manfregensengen".

Incidentally, I usually try to seek out the original poster for this thread, but I just adore the one I found above . I'd almost always favour a nicely drawn piece of art over a cast short anyway, but this one in particular really captures the manic zaniness of this film (though it is admittedly a little spoiler-ish).

And while I was looking for that, I stumbled upon this fan casting poster of Fish in the style of an Ealing comedy.

(Much as it would pain me to uncast Kenneth Williams, I feel Sellers might be better cast in the Palin role. But since I can't be bothered recasting Kevin Kline's role for the mid-Twentieth Century, perhaps I'd simply switch out Kenneth Williams for Kenneth Connor).

 

[Willie Oleson]

Champagne And Bullets (1993) - a.k.a. Geteven or Road To Revenge

Here's a quarter. Buy yourself a personality.

Wow, the nerve!
It perfectly highlights John De Hart's complete lack of self-awareness, which is usually the very reason why these films are being made.
To say that this film is amateurish would be an insult to amateurs so I'd rather describe it as Bad Taste on every level of film making.
I think it's been unavailable for many years (only VHS copies, perhaps?) and recently released on R1 bluray by Vinegar Syndrome.
I was over the moon to find an upload on you-know-what site and I watched it immediately. After all, you never know if it's still there the next day.

Described as an action fick, but it's mostly a porn without the most graphic bits, which is not to say the sex action is purely simulated.
The info on wiki suggests that this latest version also had some stuff edited out so...who knows.
Perhaps the most hilarious part is the inappropriate and self-indulgent soundtrack. There were several moments when I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from screaming out loud.
It's hard to pick a worst scene, but at champagne point I'd say the flashback scene of the satanic ritual peformed by William Smith's character.
When I checked his filmography I was surprised to see that he actually has some pedigree. Maybe not on Marlon Brando level but he was Falconetti in Rich Man Poor Man, the mini-series and the regular series. Gosh!

Wings Hauser is allowed to do his own thing and I suspect they gave him a six-pack instead of a script.
Nevertheless, drunk or not, he's the only one who's lively enough to be convincing as an actor.
In one particular scene he's visited by one of the playboy models dressed like a nun, and he just laughs at her face. See, that's self-awareness!
Overall, the notorious vanity project Champagne And Bullets delivers in spades, but Samurai Cop is the one that I love because it fails more spectacularly.

A low rating is for bad films that have enough potential to be good, and obviously that doesn't apply to this film. Therefore I'll rate it as something that is meant to be enjoyed as hilarious trash.