Who Does It Better: re-evaluating the Bond songs

Willie Oleson

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For re-evaluating purposes I will also include the vocal versions that weren't used in the opening sequences.
I'm afraid I'll have re-schedule the Jonas Brothers top 10 which will be followed by the New Seekers top 10 (alas, part of the re-schedule scheme).

Maybe it would be fun to include the rejected Bond songs. I need to find out what was rejected for what movie, because...chronological.

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James from London

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Maybe it would be fun to include the rejected Bond songs
Here is an album I invented of Alternate Bond songs. They're all rejects except for Goldfinger which is the original demo.

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Willie Oleson

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Oooh...did you create that fake movie poster yourself? I love it!

Speaking of brilliantly fake, here's a funny excerpt from a scambait video (it's a whole series of scambaits with plotlines and recurring "guest stars")
It was inspired by one of the many spelling mistakes in a scam email.
 

James from London

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Oooh...did you create that fake movie poster yourself? I love it!
No, that's much too clever for me. I think it came up when I googled Alternate Bond, looking for a fake cover for my fake album.
Speaking of brilliantly fake, here's a funny excerpt from a scambait video (it's a whole series of scambaits with plotlines and recurring "guest stars")
It was inspired by one of the many spelling mistakes in a scam email.
Oh wow, that's almost a really good idea!
 

Willie Oleson

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Bond Song #1

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Oh dear, this almost disheartening because...what is the Bond song in DR. NO? It has the James Bond theme, Under The Mango Tree (2 different vocals), Kingston Calypso and a Dr. No Theme.

At the risk of causing a wave of outrage I confess that I don't have any James Bond movies in my collection and that's why I'm not sure if the themes as posted on youtube represent the movie opening sequences 100% accurately. Feel free to point out any mistakes.

Is it still a DR. NO theme (song) when it's become the James Bond character/franchise theme? And if it was supposed to be a franchise theme (as opposed to a DR. NO theme) then doesn't it sound more like a theme for a TV series?
Looking at the sequence, is the opening theme just the James Bond theme or is it a medley of three compostions?

I don't think any of the songs/themes were promoted as a single except for maybe an obscure Japanese EP - not that that means everything but could it not suggest that THE James Bond song had not been invented yet?
"Dr. No Theme"....there are different ways to read it!

As a song it sounds charming in an old crap kind of way, but there's nothing memorable about it. Even after a minute I already forget what it sounds like.
The male vocal version (Monty Norman? Sean Connery?) sounds a little more polished but of course that doesn't work for Honey Ryder.
Interestingly, James Bond's reaction to Honey's singing suggests that it is a well-known song so maybe it didn't have to become a hit again. It was old news.

Lots of questions and very little opinion on this one.
 

Willie Oleson

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Moby had a chart hit with his version of the James Bond Theme in 1997, but 5 years before that there was a club techno version which, in some parts, was inspired by Moby's version of Twin Peaks ("Go!") from 1991.
 

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Bond Song #2

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From a more contemporary view this title doesn't look very excitingly Bond-y, but it was probably a different case in the 1960s Cold War era. And so the love from Russia was the kind of love that was best to avoid. At least that's my interpretation thereof.

The vocal version by Matt Monro is used for the end credits but I think it could have worked for the opening titles as well, but obviously not with the fast dancing girls.
But then again, the song is almost too beautiful for a Bond movie and its amazing climax has sort of a "finish" feel to it. Even though FRWL is one of my favourites in the Bond series I'm not sure if the movie could live up to the sheer enchantment of Mr. Monro's vocals.

No doubt it's going to be a high-ranker but it's too early in the re-evaluation process to crown it as the winner. It's still possible that another song is going to does it better (*trembles*).
 

Willie Oleson

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Bond Song #3

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The "mother" of all Bond songs, including a rejected version by lyricist Anthony Newley. According to wiki he rejected it himself, Shirley Bassey almost gave her life for the song and Harry Saltzman thought the song was rubbish. To me it seems almost impossible to hate this song but maybe it's different if you hear it as a song that's not yet being part of the full Goldfinger experience.

Anthony Newley's demo version focuses on the villainy. but it's so tongue in cheek that it almost sounds like the theme of a Disney villain (e.g. a combination of the Cruella De Vil song and Aladdin's Arabian Nights ).
Shirley Bassey sings it as a warning, the song even starts with an alarm. Maybe she's a Goldfinger survivor, or his embittered ex-wife - and since the song almost sounds like a musical trailer of the movie I don't find it very effective when it's played over the end credits.
The original jazzy version could have created that retrospective feel, "this was the fun you have been watching".

Even though the song became immensely popular, and I love it too, it wouldn't make much sense if it wasn't a movie song. To compare, I could easily believe that there was a man with a golden gun who charges a million a shot. I mean, that could be a DIVINE song.

 

Willie Oleson

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Bond Song #4

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I've always liked Thunderball but now I think it tries to hard to be another GOLDFINGER.
"He always runs while others walk, he acts while other men just talk". It's a weak description for a Thunderball.
Tom Jones and the music itself sound great, but this could almost be the theme to a very good spoof movie.
Also, because it covers the pomp and spectacle of the Goldfinger song in such an obvious way I've always assumed that this was another villain song, but now I'm not so sure anymore.

According to wiki, the rejected theme song Mr. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang was about James Bond himself (and there are some parts in the Goldfinger lyrics that could also apply to 007) but the article only mentions that the new song was written to suit the movie title (and I agree, two characters - Mr. KKBB and Thunderball - makes it unnecessary confusing, unless, initially, Thunderball wasn't a character at all).
There's nothing about a new perspective so maybe it's better to assume that Thunderball is indeed James Bond.
Tom Jones surely makes it sound as if he's singing of a Spaghetti Western hero...or is it just my imagination?
Hmm....I'm still none the wiser.

However, in Johnny Cash's rejected version, "Thunderball" seems to represent something or someone dangerous and sinister.
Maybe it could use a few Barry style tweaks but overall I think it sounds fresher than the Tom Jones song.

It's definitely not a pain to listen to Tom's Thunderball, but because of its unadventurous (and not even romantic) lyrics, and also because of its shaky premise, it's just not a very good Bond song.
 

Willie Oleson

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Oh, and apparently Tom Jones was the second recording artist who almost passed out while performing the climax of his Bond song.
 

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Bond Song #5

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Well, it would be a shame not to make use of that catchy title. The lyrics just kinda build on it and although it's not as perfectly lovely as From Russia With Love it's also not as straightforwardly sinister as Goldfinger. It has just enough ambiguity.
The viewpoint seems to change as the song goes along (or maybe something gets totally lost in translation, I'm not ruling anything out) but that also works for me because there's always a kind of uncertainty between Bond and his Bond girls, and at the end of the movie it's almost as if she's singing to the audience "this dream (movie) is for you, so pay the price (ticket), make one dream come true (watch us, not the Casino Royale parody)".

Nancy's vocals are..."perfect" is such a imposing term but I can't think of another way to describe it.
In some parts she's the fragile geisha who hypnotizes you with her Chinese fairy dust, but in other parts her timbre seems to signal some kind of strain, panic even.
That could be a purely physical byproduct but regardless I feel it enchances the ambiguity.

YOLT sounds great both in and out of context so that's another plus.
 

Willie Oleson

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I almost forgot these two entries from the Bondvision Song Contest

We Only Reject Twice
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Lorraine Chandler

Julie Rogers

The intro of Julie's version is promising but the song never really goes anywhere. It's almost as if they told her to sing her grocery shopping list in John Barry style.
Like Lorraine Chandler's version it has no flavour or distinction at all BUT these were just demo recordings so who knows what it could have been with a properly written orchestration.

Incidentally, I just discovered a plothole in the 100% iconic-free re-evaluation of the Bond songs. The fifth soundtrack is from CASINO ROYALE.
 

Willie Oleson

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Bond Song #6 (so much for chronological)

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The LP artwork evokes the idea of a Cardfinger song but, alas, that's not on it.
It does have the most universally loved song of all Bond soundtracks, The Look Of Love by the one and only Miss Dusty Springfield.
Personally, I like it but I don't love it, and it features in a similar fashion to Under The Mango Tree, albeit more extended.

I am more interested in the end credits song
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It's a novelty but how bad can that be for a 007 parody?
Except that the other movies aren't parodies and that makes it impossible to rank Have No Fear Bond Is Here. I'll keep The Look Of Love since I doubt it will be beaten by that other "unofficial" Bond theme song from 1983.
 

Willie Oleson

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Bond Song #7

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From Russia With Love is the daddy of the Bond songs and Goldfinger is the mother of the opening titles Bond songs and yet the sixth official Bond hit We Have All The Time In The World is neither an opening titles nor a closing titles song.
Like The Look Of Love, it's too lovely and poignant to excite the James Bond audience and it would make absolutely no sense after the movie's finale scene.
Sure, he's got all the time in the world to mourn his bride, even more so since this James Bond is never coming back. But that's not what this song is about.

I guess the new Bond deserved his own distinctive instrumental theme even though it also plays as a greatest hits in both the sound and visuals. And maybe not just greatest hits because I *think* I hear some notes from upcoming songs such as "Diamonds" and "Golden Gun".
I wonder if the time-themed visuals in the opening sequence of If Tomorrow Comes were inspired by OHMSS.

Not really a rejected song, but an interesting titbit nonetheless:
"Before you throw food at the internet and scream obscenities out the window, read on. Anecdotal evidence suggests Elvis Presley was a big Bond fan who harboured a secret desire to record a theme song as part of his big comeback in 1968. Unfortunately for the King there wasn't a 007 film slated for '68 so, in the same year in Live a Little Love a Little, he performed a song that was a thinly-disguised audition for Bond stalwarts Cubby Broccoli and John Barry. Blogging about the Edge of Reality, Presley fans remark at how much of a departure it was for him; noting deeper tones, a more choral approach and a strong use of brass. All key elements of traditional Bond themes which would have helped distance Elvis from his sunshine jaunts and reposition him as a more edgy performer. There were were two huge obstacles. Presley was signed to MGM who were rivals of Bond distributors UA which pretty much killed the dream and even if Elvis could have negotiated a release he wasn't one for England, having only made the trip across the pond twice (if rumours are correct) - so any recording session would have been tricky. It gets better: the opening bars of his 1961 track Surrender pre-date the James Bond Theme by a year, so maybe Elvis felt it was his destiny. Of course the whole notion of a Bond theme sung by Elvis Presley could be on the edge of reality itself but there's never been a more exciting idea that somewhere in a vault is another track meant for 007's eyes only."

(blue bold is debatable, red bold is factual).

They shoulda done a 007 movie with the same title for no other reason than to warrant this Elvis "Bond" theme, imho.
Anyway, back to the Louis Armstrong song, I have mixed feelings about it. It goes without saying that it's absolutely gorgeous but it sounds like a movie song rather than a Bond song. On the other hand, it may have sounded an eenie teenie tiny little bit cheesy if it had been used in another movie that wasn't a Bond movie so maybe there's a strong connection after all.

Oh, all this thinking and decisions...this thread turns out to be quite disastrous. But at least it's a disaster with a John Barry soundtrack.

 

Willie Oleson

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Bond Song #8

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After two years of all the time in the world James Bond returns with Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend, according to songwriter Don Black.
Thankfully the diamonds will be used to create a mass destruction weapon or whatever, but on the surface it looks a bit shallow, a James Bond-lite as it were (even though Sean Connery seemed to have gained a few pounds when he did this movie).
Unfortunately, the theme as heard in the lyrics shines through in the music itself. It's pleasant enough in a Las Vegas kind of way but overall it's a wobbly affair, and the return of the queen of the Bond songs almost seems like a scheme to cover it up.
Actually, the first thing that sprang to mind when I listened to Diamonds was the glaring omission of Eartha Kitt's voice. This singer could have spiced it up with her trademark musical vinegar.

It does get a lot better when they add some percussion to the music, but these moments are sparse.
The 2000 remix doesn't even feel like a remix, it's kinda how it should have been.

As it stands, the original version is just hanging there, waiting to be intercepted by the Moonraker.
 
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Willie Oleson

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I have edited the thread title because I've proven to be the king of not using "iconic" and "epic" in Bond song re-evaluations. It doesn't feel like a challenge anymore.
Is it typical that this decision should coincide with the (for better or worse) game changer in James Bond music?

Bond Song #9

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I think I appreciate the McCartneys' symphonic rock contribution to the eighth Eon Bond soundtrack more than I enjoy it.
But...from a different point of view, I enjoy it more than I appreciate it.
It's not just the song itself, it's also the then contemporary band performing it that makes it almost impossible for me not to think of the Toppop/Top Of The Pops kind of shows, and yet, as a movie titles intro experience - especially with horror show visuals - it works amazingly well.

I can imagine that the fans of the lush crooners weren't too enamoured by this musical deviation (although I'm not sure there already was a Bond music fanbase) but one could point out that this new take on THE Bond song is being justified in the song itself.
"This ever-changing world in which we live in", as if to update not only the music but also the Bond franchise.
Well, I don't think the Bond movies ever stopped being formulaic but I'm sure that, like everthing else in pop culture, it tried to stay as relevant as possible.
But the lyrics "say live and let die" comes across as a pop culture mantra rather than something the movie title's character is/will be going through.
I really really love to think that the McCartneys were so cheeky that they made a song about the song.

It's definitely my favourite Bond song oddity, but does that mean they does it better? I need to go now before the supermarket closes.
 

Mel O'Drama

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I think I appreciate the McCartneys' symphonic rock contribution to the eighth Eon Bond soundtrack more than I enjoy it.

I'm very partial to the BJ Arnau version that appears mid-film, as a taste of how the opening credits would have sounded had they gone the big belting diva route again*:

Marvellous thread, by the way, Willie.




*Which by all accounts was the plan of the powers that be. It seems they wanted Thelma Houston or Miss Bassey until Macca put his foot down.
 

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Bond Song #10


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The second (or third?) villain song, but oddly enough the title makes me think of a TV series action hero who gets his wholesome super-power from a golden device.

I think it would have been too jarring - and perhaps even thinly veiled dismissive of McCartney's rock music contribution - to return to the big band ballad in the very next James Bond release.
This song is a nice compromise and Lulu makes it sound a lot more exciting than it really is.
Considering everything that's happened before, an assassination by gunshot, golden or not, doesn't seem to up the ante for the popular secret service agent.
If anything, the most significant assassination had already happened in the finale scene of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, at the hands of the villainous Irma Bunt.

Even though the song became immensely popular, and I love it too, it wouldn't make much sense if it wasn't a movie song. To compare, I could easily believe that there was a man with a golden gun who charges a million a shot
However, made-up names like Goldfinger and Thunderball adds to the distinction of the title, "Golden Something" can be used in any title.
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But the thing that strikes me the most about The Man With The Golden Gun is that it sounds like James Bond: The Musical.
I can totally envisage Britt Ekland and Hervé Villechaize dancing on top of one of those sea rocks while Lulu, lifted by Christopher Lee and Roger Moore, belts out the tenth Bond anthem.

I particularly like the cover version by Kelly Wilde, and the emphasis on "a" in "charges a million-ah shot". If this was a blaxploitation movie then it even could have been "a million-ah shot-ah". Mocca chocolata ya ya.

 
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