Who is second only to JR Ewing in wit?

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Jimmy Todd

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Imho, Dallas' JR Ewing had the most witty remarks and comebacks, in terms of quality and quality. Whom do you think of the following choices came a close second or even bested him in this area?
1. Sue Ellen Ewing
2. Alexis Colby
3. Abby Ewing
4. Laura Avery Sumner
5. Greg Sumner
6. Angela Channing
7. Someone else
 
James from London

James from London

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Of the people on that list, Greg was probably wittier than JR. JR was funny, but could be a little defensive about his position whereas Greg never really cared what anyone thought of him which meant you could never predict what would come out of his mouth. Sue Ellen and Alexis were great fun, but Abby has the advantage over both of them because she didn't take herself as seriously as they sometimes did, which meant you were always laughing with rather than at her. Laura was funny, but didn't get as much screen time as everyone else on the list. Angela was good with the withering putdowns but loses serious points for straying into unfunny sitcom territory as time went on.
 
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Jimmy Todd

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James from London said:
Of the people on that list, Greg was probably wittier than JR. JR was funny, but could be a little defensive about his position whereas Greg never really cared what anyone thought of him which meant you could never predict what would come out of his mouth. Sue Ellen and Alexis were great fun, but Abby has the advantage over both of them because she didn't take herself as seriously as they sometimes did, which meant you were always laughing with rather than at her. Laura was funny, but didn't get as much screen time as everyone else on the list. Angela was good with the withering putdowns but loses serious points for straying into unfunny sitcom territory as time went on.
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Great points, especially about Greg and Abby. These qualities in them made them such great characters.
Now that you mention it, JR often did seem defensive, trying to justify his actions, while Greg was pretty much accepting of his amoral motivations.
 
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I would have to go with Alexis. Some of her comebacks are legendary. I think she’s almost equal to JR in that department. I would’ve given almost anything back then to let them have just one scene together in a soap fantasy world. The dialogue would’ve been gold.
 
stevew

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I'd vote for Abby. I just loved her character. Back in the day, I would have loved to have seen her go to Falcon Crest. When she left KL it would have been a perfect timing. JW needed to cut back or even retire at that point (her health not my wanting to see that happen) and FC needed a real shake up. Abby had run her course on KL, so why not venture north where she meets and marries Richard Channing (post Maggie). This would also have given her two young boys to look at as sons and be a mother all over again, some of Abby's best stuff. She had the wit and charm and would have no problem being the new Mrs. Channing (Angela leaving Falcon Crest to Richard and Lance to share in a huge surprise and a big shake up), maybe even a contest to see who could earn Falcon Crest, but one where Richard just wants family so he refuses to fight and agrees to share Falcon Crest with his nephew. Bring Father Christopher on to serve as the new priest in town and we'd have one big happy family (sending Pilar away so Lance could raise his daughter on his own). Keep Sydney as a niece of Abby's (maybe an unseen Fairgate brother) and Chris Agretti (the new owner of the Agretti land). Somewhere in there would would have been a good show and a next generation and Abby would have be so much fun to watch.
 
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Barbara Fan said:
I only watched Dallas so cant comment on the other shows

but from the Dallas cast I thought Lucy had the best put downs and sarcastic comments aimed at JR
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I agree with Lucy for Dallas - in fact I would add she was wasted as not making her into the next JR after Bobby's death. Bobby's death obviously restructured the show and it was time for JR to retire into Jock's role (kind of tired of his cheating and all and certainly not young eye candy) and Lucy into JR's role. Bobby's will could have left his share of EO to Christopher setting up an epic battle at the end of which Pam walks away with Christopher and sells his share to Lucy, allied with Jeremy Wendell and a member of the Cartel somehow. With her mouth and claim to South Fork, the show could have new life breathed into it, instead of spinning it's wheels, digging itself deeper and deeper.
 
stevew

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Willie Oleson said:
Judith Ryland.
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I do believe she could have filled JR's void if they had only let her (light give up on that crappy "momma" likes stuff and Ryland returning - not only an affront to JR but also to her character). It could have turned out she was an old friend of JR (no strangers to prostitutes). Part of the master plan - all of JR's unseen friends (Judith, Carlos, I'd add another) coming out of the woodwork to help Johns Ross put back together Jock's legacy bigger and better than ever. She had the whit and the acting chops to pull it off, ending up with her as Senator Brown and John Ross and CEO of Ewing Industries, an unlikely duo. His emotions and her whit - and they'd have had a great show.
 
Sarah

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Think the question of the thread is being misunderstood BUT....

No one can top Sue Ellen for putting down JR, I mean come on, really? Make Lucy into the next JR?! What? She wasn't even around that often after the first few years. Sue Ellen is the MASTER of putting JR in his place. It doesn't wash for it to be anyone else if it's aimed at JR.

I didn't watch enough of the other soaps to comment but JR tops it for me, and yes Greg Sumner I remember being very witty, but Bobby Ewing could be witty too as could Cliff Barnes, Donna Krebbs, Ray Krebbs, yes Lucy at times, and Clayton. And of course, Sue Ellen. She 'got it' in a way no one else did, especially as she got older.
 
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Sarah said:
Dorothy Zbornak and Sophia Petrillo are another two who are right up there.
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I would’ve never thought of this but for entertainment purposes alone it could’ve been a lot of fun. Dorothy’s sarcasm and Sophia’s toughness would’ve given JR a run for his money. I can just see him taking his hat off when he met them, thinking manipulating them would be a walk in the park, only to regret ever tangling with them and concluding they were both nuts.
 
Willie Oleson

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Angela Channing said:
Sometimes it only took a glance or an expression to convey the humour and other times she had the most brilliantly funny put downs that matched anything that JR ever said.
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I honestly don't recall any memorable put downs but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
I think Jane Wyman's forte was to do a lot with a little. When she was being to the point, almost minimalistic, it told me everything I needed to know.
Angela Channing had a way of manipulating people into doing dastardly things but she usually avoided exact instructions. If she would say "I have nothing to do with it" then technically speaking it was true.
But we knew better.
 
Luke_Krebbs_Ewing

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She's not on the list but the Peta Toppano version of Jilly Stewart in the 1985 series of Return To Eden could be wonderfully caustic & witty. :)

Jilly & Jake.jpg
 
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