Why didn't Dolly Parton guest star on Dallas?

[Willie Oleson]

Maybe Dolly Parton was just too big for Dallas

Now, that's a reason/excuse I can live with.
I've thought about it for a while and what you say makes sense. She was (especially at that time) too big as a contemporary celebrity.
She could only be in Dallas if she was Dallas.
And even if it was just a one-off stunt it would be just that: a gimmicky stunt, they may as well had asked Mickey Mouse to guest star. America didn't need to be reminded of their fame.

You just saved Dallas from eternal shame, James.

(but I'll be back!)

 

[James from London]

I guess DP could have starred as the big boss in the movie version of the Hot Biscuit spin-off ...

... but when then they readapt it for TV, you'd only see her name in the credits as an Executive Producer.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Oh! Would there be guest stars opening credits a la HOTEL?

Or would it be a sitcom? Did this ever happen at all, I mean a spin-off in a different genre?

 

[James from London]

would it be a sitcom?

I'm thinking a half-hour soap, twice weekly, a la Peyton Place, and it would be about the staff at the Hot Biscuit and its regular customers, most of whom would work in the Ewing Oil fields, so it would be the flip side to what we'd be watching on Dallas.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

I'm thinking a half-hour soap, twice weekly, a la Peyton Place, and it would be about the staff at the Hot Biscuit and its regular customers, most of whom would work in the Ewing Oil fields, so it would be the flip side to what we'd be watching on Dallas.

Would it be overkill for Tilly and Sam to be permanently seated at one of the tables with a running commentary about the goings on?

 

[James from London]

Would it be overkill for Tilly and Sam to be permanently seated at one of the tables with a running commentary about the goings on?

Or maybe they open up a rival establishment across the street ...

 

[Willie Oleson]

What kind of cliff hanger would there be?

Maybe one of the customers could exclaim "Hey, this biscuit is lukewarm!"

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Or maybe they open up a rival establishment across the street ...

"Hey, this biscuit is lukewarm!"

Long lost recipes. Secret ingredients. God - the concept is a dramatic goldmine.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Indeed, the possibilities are endless. They could invest in a haunted jukebox or one of those hyper-modern sausage machines.

 

[B.J. Ewing]

Dolly’s boobs disagreed about her salary. They tried to get somewhere in between, but to no avail.

 

[Willie Oleson]

Miss Ellie & Clayton could have taken the grandchildren on a trip to Dolly's theme park.

That way it could still create the anticipation of her guest appearance.

 

[Alexis]

That's right. Su was the original choice for the role of Angelica Nero as she seemed to perfectly embody that sophisticated Euro-uber-bitch they were looking for. However, in the end producers decided she was just too sexy for the part and went with Barbara Carrera instead.

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Which is a shame... Imagine Sue in all those Nero costumes. Wrapped up in bolts of Travilla's remnants. All blinged up like an over done Christmas tree. It would have been a spectacle to behold. She would have been a bespectacled bombshell. It would have been TV gold.

 

[Seaviewer]

had no clue who Howard Keel was prior to Dallas but this was more to do with the fact he was a huge film star prior to my birth.

He was a film star, but I don't know if he was a huge one. I genuinely don't know. My parents recognised him when he appeared on Dallas but I got the impression they hadn't seen him in anything in a long, long time. From my perspective, he wasn't as "big name famous" as your Lana Turners or your Rock Hudsons or your Charlton Hestons or your Ava Gardners (although I'd have been hard pressed to name an Ava Gardner film).

As I've mentioned before I grew up watching the old MGM musicals on TV with my parents and Howard Keel was one of my mother's favourites so I was well-acquainted with him long before he appeared on Dallas. Showboat would probably be his greatest musical role but you can see a sort of proto-Clayton in the Western-influenced Seven Brides For Seven Brothers as well as Annie Get Your Gun and Calamity Jane.

Did this ever happen at all, I mean a spin-off in a different genre?

Mary Tyler Moore's sitcom spun off the drama Lou Grant. Similarly, M*A*S*H begat Trapper John, MD.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

Dolly Parton was already cast as JR's daughter when the Cyntax excuse for a series called Dallas was cancelled by TNT.

Not sure of the characters name though, there are rumours she was going to be called Sissy Sputnik & that's as daft a name as you could get on that TNT series.

 

[Taylor Bennett Jr.]

I think she should have made a brief appearance in the Garnet McGee episode. When Ray burst into the motel room to attack JR, Dolly, who was secretly staying at the motel in a nearby room to hide from paparazzi, would follow in after hearing the commotion and start lecturing and slapping the hell out of Garnet for fooling around with a married man.

After Bobby pries Ray off of JR, he pulls Dolly off of Garnet. Overcome by lust, Bobby and Dolly start making out passionately, the lesson for the audience being that no matter how noble our intentions, we're always but one adulterous motel brawl away from our own sinful behavior.

Somehow in the aftermath, Dolly and Pam become best friends and Dolly makes occasional appearances at Southfork over the next several years, notably to sing at Lucy and Mitch's first wedding as a special guest with Lucy's favorite Austin band The Coffins.

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

From what I recall Victoria's breasts threatened to walk if they were to be upstaged by Miss Parton's buxom bosoms. Is there no end to that woman's evilness?

Its hard to believe that Victoria Principal's buoys could be upstaged by Dolly Parton's air bags!

That's show business for you.

 

[Sarah]

From what I recall Victoria's breasts threatened to walk if they were to be upstaged by Miss Parton's buxom bosoms. Is there no end to that woman's evilness?

Likely true. No really.

 

[Alexis]

Likely true. No really.

Well we all know she crapped in Linda's coffee mug at that Southfork Reunion so I believe ya. I just do.

 

[Sarah]

She poos?????

 

[Luke_Krebbs_Ewing]

She poos?????

Victoria would never do such a thing!

She's a refined, upstanding human being.

I ought to know because I'm Lucas Krebbs Ewing & she's been my step Mother for over ten years now.

I love her very much. Her & Mark Graison have made me feel so much part of the family.

I love my half brother Christopher very much, & as for my Grandfather Jock. He's lovely.

He left Dallas to escape his family as they wouldn't believe who he was, but we all love him.