"Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly": All things Victoria Wood

[Mel O'Drama]

Anne widdecombe actually spoke highly of Victoria, as VW called her in adavance to ask her if it was ok to send her up and if she said no, she wasnt happy with it, it wouldnt have been shown

There arent many comdedians who would do that.

No, there aren't. It does say a lot about Victoria that she went to that trouble.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Anne widdecombe actually spoke highly of Victoria, as VW called her in adavance to ask her if it was ok to send her up and if she said no, she wasnt happy with it, it wouldnt have been shown

Oh, I've found a clip of Widdecombe talking about it.

And many more classic Victoria moments from stage and screen can be found here. Some of them include retrospective comments from friends and colleagues of Vic. Well worth a look.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Victoria At The Albert Live


(2001)

​

Five years on from her last sellout dates at the Royal Albert Hall, and eight years on from her first record-breaking series of concerts there, Vic is back at her favourite venue for her At It Again tour (or, as she confesses it was almost called due to a typography error, Victoria Wood: A Tit Again).

Certainly as far as home media goes, this is Vic’s final tour. She signed the visitors’ book to say she was there for the third and final time and mentions her impending retirement as part of the set in her own inimitable way:

I’ve been thinking about giving it up, you know. Being a stand-up comedian. I was thinking about stopping doing it. [the audience groans] No, not tonight. I’ll wait till you’ve gone home. But… I don’t want to get too middle aged to do it.

It looks like Vic did return to the Albert a couple of times after this, though just for one-off appearances.

Fittingly, this particular show feels like Vic’s most personal and autobiographical yet. There’s no ground left uncovered, there are no sacred cows, no life events too painful that they’re not included.

The entire forty five minute first act is Victoria talking about her menopause and her then-recent hysterectomy. The tour had been postponed when Vic needed an emergency operation and - incredibly - she changed the entire show to include it:

They send me down to the women’s clinic… They’re all sitting there, and they’ve got their bosoms hanging out, pelvic floors dangling. There’s a woman with her cervix in a margarine tub… and she’s going “I took it out to wash it and I couldn’t get it back in."

…And I’m thinking, all right, so they take away your uterus. So what’s left? Is it just like a big hole? I mean, am I supposed to put something in there, you know like an ornament?…Pot pourri?…I’ve got to fill up a big hole. I’ve still got to give pleasure to my husband. How can I do both? I think “well, I could pop in a sausage sandwich and a picture of Charlie Dimmock. That would probably do it”.

While telling the story, Vic seamlessly sidetracks into all these different sub-topics. Which include…

Her mother:

You know when you’re little and your mum takes you to the shop… And she always stops for a very long conversation with somebody and you’re just, like, stood there. And all you can hear are the distant voices that are booming somewhere above your head. Well, I realised years later that in my case that was a false arm. And she’d tuned the radio to The Archers. She’d gone. She was in a cafe half a mile away.

Her eating disorder:

I can’t really tell what I look like… I have a very strange idea of my own body image because I used to suffer from an eating disorder…

If anybody’s thinking of taking up an addiction, you know, compulsive overeating is not a bad one, because it’s quite cheap… If you compare the prices of a gram of coke and a bottle of vodka and a white sliced loaf and a pot of Hartley’s strawberry jam, you know, it comes out quite well.

Along the way, Vic covers subjects as diverse as obese people enjoying food at Disney World; Paul Daniels’s toupee; automated phone answering services. All with a real-world perspective.

The entire act is a raconteur masterclass.

(continued...) ​

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Victoria At The Albert Live


(continued)​

The second act is broken up a little more. It kicks off with the live debut (in O’Dramavision, at least) of Stacey Leanne Payne: star of Luxury Liner (first and most recently seen in All The Trimmings). Vic’s usually spot-on with picking out the characteristics of the people she satirises, so the more I see of this backstabbing, self-centred narcissist who plays up her Yorkshire background to appeal more humble and real, the more I have to wonder about Jane McDonald. She’s been on Loose Women, so that suggests Vic had her number. Vic and her team could have had a field day with that show, knowing how she feels about tacky, poorly presented TV series.

In fact she gets stuck into a number of them at the beginning of the second act proper; from Trisha to Jerry Springer and the gardening shows to which she was subjected when recuperating from her operation. She also talks about an episode of All-Star Family Fortunes that was made up of people from makeover teams (“Stars are people like Madonna or Elizabeth Taylor. You can’t be a “star” if your only claim to fame is that you’ve got your own spirit level”). And her description of Touch The Truck was so abysmally bad that I thought she’d made it up, but it turns out to be a real show.

Then she takes aim at daytime TV adverts for compensation claims, stairlifts and the like:

Have you seen the one with the bath that opens at the front? Am I missing something with that? It can’t be just that you open it up - whoosh - rubber ducks all over the carpet. There must be some system whereby the water drains out [before] the door opens… So instead of ruining your carpet you get hypothermia, I suppose.

It’s another very conversational act, which is such an art. It’s a long show - almost two hours - but it feels as though Vic is just coming on and chatting. Even at the end it almost seems as though she’s just warming up, simply because she makes it all seem so effortless and relaxed.

There’s a bit of recycled material, such as talking about kids’ names and such. But it mostly feels fresh and right for where Vic was in 2001. It also has an updated reference to something she’d immortalised in An Audience With…

I used to do a think in my show: I used to say I knew… I was getting older when I went past a rack of Dr Scholl sandals and went “Oh, they look comfy.” Now I’m going past going “Oh, too modern. Too modern.”

It’s a really nice reference for recognising that the audience is going to be familiar with some of her work and tapping into that to give context to her changing outlook between then and now.

There are no less than two encores.

In the first, Stacey Leanne Payne makes a return to sing Shagadoo. It’s fun enough, but I do miss Vic singing as Vic while playing piano. It’s about the only thing that would have added to my enjoyment.

The second has a twist on the exercise routine, this time Vic plays the grungy Pat who is standing in for Marilyn.

This may not be the first concert that comes to mind when thinking of Vic’s live shows. But in many ways it really should be as it’s her most heartfelt and truthful. Which means it’s also one of her funniest.

 

[Barbara Fan]

Half way through her bio, now has 2 children and spends her time watching awful day time TV!!

One thing that comes across - she loathed Anne Diamond!!

have attached a few wee titbits from her book re Celia Imrie and her impressive cleavage and the jim Broadbent sketch which i always loved

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Half way through her bio, now has 2 children and spends her time watching awful day time TV!!

One thing that comes across - she loathed Anne Diamond!!

Ha ha. I love Vic's loathing for daytime telly and its hosts.

have attached a few wee titbits from her book re Celia Imrie and her impressive cleavage and the jim Broadbent sketch which i always loved

Oh, that's great. It's so good to learn a bit more about the making of the 1989 series. I'd wondered where they were hiking. Now I know it's Ilkley Moor.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Acorn Antiques: The Musical



(2005)

​

While I can’t swear to it, somewhere in the memory banks I feel quietly confident I’ve seen a version of this on-stage. Some images of Sara Crowe as Miss Babs I’ve found online have only made me more certain, as they seem very familiar indeed.

All the same, I can remember little about it. And, even though I watched the DVD of the show over the last two evenings (it’s rather long, so I split up the acts), much of the detail of that has already faded in my mind.

Watching the two acts separately may not be ideal, but it turns out that they’re so distinct it had next to no impact on my watching. Act One is the “behind the scenes” story, with Bo Beaumont and the other “actors” coming together to rehearse. While Act Two is the play within a play. Or the play that came out of the story in Act One. But there’s very little crossover, other than Bo’s haemorrhoids. If anything it may even play better keeping them separate, just as The Making Of Acorn Antiques was with the TV version.

I very much liked the meta angle that the play was a spin-off from the TV version. Apparently the original version was criticised for the “behind the scenes” stuff by those not familiar with the source material. Off the back of this, Victoria made huge changes for the touring version by taking out a lot of the meta stuff (this revised version is probably the way I saw it). It seems a shame, but at least the original is immortalised here.

The casting is pretty good. There’s no denying Sally Ann Triplett can sing, but it’s strange to see someone other than Vic playing Miss Berta. Josie Lawrence was great fun, chewing up the scenery and being arch and wicked. Neil Morrissey, too, was fine. It was a pleasant surprise that both could sing well. It would have been nice to have seen a stage version of the old couple who frequented the shop in the TV version. And Derek the handyman would have made a nice stage character as well. But given that Berta already felt off, it was better to have new characters rather than recasts.

The three original series actors were terrific with their material, both dialogue and singing. Have You Met Miss Babs? was a moment of pure vamp for Celia Imrie.

​

Duncan had perhaps the best line in the entire play when he became proactive in a volatile situation and told the women:

I’ll handle this. I have a scrotum.

Julie Walters was a gem as both Bo and Mrs Overall. Riotously funny, doing great bad acting and then breaking the audience’s heart during one of Mrs O’s more poignant songs. It’s impressive that she managed to stay within character(s) while singing, and her stage background shone through.

​

I still have the bonus features to watch. I'm sure that the sight of Vic playing Mrs O. will be a little surreal as well.

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Housewife, 49


(10th December 2006)​

​

​

Where to even begin with this one? I must confess I expected quite a lot from Vic’s first venture into writing a straight drama. And, as I hadn’t realised until it began, a biographical drama. And I’m happy to report that this met and surpassed expectations.

Nella Last is a name with which I wasn’t familiar until last night. I don’t recall ever even hearing or reading her name before. Which perhaps explains why Vic chose her as the subject of her film. In common with much of her other work, this is a celebration of the ordinary. It gives voice to that which on the surface might appear almost mundane, and shows exactly why it isn’t.

One of the most difficult things for writing to do is to speak the unspoken. To share a character’s internalised feelings with the audience. The very essence of Nella’s character is her sense of isolation. She is profoundly lonely while presenting an image that says otherwise. This is compounded by the very things that tell the world she is all right: the marriage and the family. Their presence only reinforces Nella’s isolation, and this comes across to the audience in a way that’s tangible.

It’s also a film that’s very of its time. We follow Nella through the entire Second World War. It’s clear that she’s had difficulties and is at times confused, and we learn she’s had a breakdown. But the responses of those around her are era-appropriate. Most don’t even recognise her vulnerability. Those who do mostly react to it in a way that’s unhealthy. Her sister-in-law mocks and belittles her, apparently bitter that Nella has had the “luxury” of opting out of life while she’s had to carry on. Nella’s husband Will creates more entrapment for her by reinforcing her weakness, telling her she won’t be able to cope with interactions with the townswomen or duties at the WVS.

Things are painted with greys, though, and it becomes evident that Will has his own demons. He’s had a breakdown himself and suffers from a kind of agoraphobia, and his fear has meant restrictions for Nella. Which is what triggered her own breakdown. He’s not a bad person and can no more help his cold, detached exterior than Nella can her brave front. They’re two vulnerable people trying to survive a harsh world. While at times in the film, it seems to the objective viewer that flight from the marriage would mean freedom and growth for Nella (there are parallels with Ria Parkinson from Butterflies in Nella’s interactions with her husband and sons) it turns out the stronger thing for her to do is to stay and still try to become as much the person she wants to be as is possible. There’s an unexpectedly sweet moment in their make-do bunker during an air raid where they’re on a mattress inside a cage, speaking and preparing to sleep and Will matter of factly tells Nella how much he loves her. That she’s his world. And that he didn’t want to die without saying it. Her face registers a sadness as she absorbs it. And nothing more is said.

The casting is eyebrow-raising in some way: there are none of the familiar main ensemble one has come to expect with Victoria Wood. No Julie Walters or Celia Imrie. Not even an Anne Reid, Pete Postlethwaite or Jim Broadbent. And yet it’s perfectly cast. The cast was largely unknown to me, and I get the sense that this is deliberate: to drive home the prosaic nature of the film. It's outside of what's become familiar and so feels uncomfortable and a little unsafe, encapsulating what sets this film apart from the films Vic did with her chums. She's on her own here, exposed and has to prove herself just as Nella does. Some of the character actors are recognisable without having strong associations with any particular role, vehicle or genre. They manage to impress - or irritate in some cases - without distracting, and without being comfortably familiar. The exception to this is Stephanie Cole who as Mrs Waite is unmistakable. And that’s another perfect choice. It needed a formidable presence to drive home how intimidated Nella was, and Stephanie also has the important underlying warmth to stop Mrs Waite from being a battleaxe. Once again, there are greys, but their connection feels mostly era-appropriate in that they are not gushy and there is an element of distance - almost mistrust - to their emerging friendship, which feels very genuine.

(continued)​

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Housewife, 49


(continued)​

Also era-appropriate is the handling of Nella’s gay son who brings home a “friend” to stay with the family, is pleased when he gets on well with Nella and is devastated when his friend is later killed. To a twenty-first century audience, the situation is easily read. Which means things can mostly be written and played with frugality. There is a coming out scene of sorts when Cliff tries to explain to his mother how important the loss of his friend is to him, and why. It could have gilded the lily, but it’s saved by Nella not quite getting it. Or perhaps she does and doesn’t have the language to say so. Either way, it is perfectly in harmony with the film’s theme of isolation and unshared burdens. Cliff is a generation younger than Nella and Will, but is little more free of his repression than his parents. And his tragedies and losses are as profound as theirs. Each unspoken truth widening the gaps between the frustrated characters.

The writing is as strong as you would expect from Victoria. The sharp lines are there, but are utilised to drive the drama forwards. While the lighter touches are there, the “punchlines” here - those memorable lines - are the ones that touch the heart rather than tickle the funny bone. Some do both at the same time. Towards the film’s end, Nella’s son tries to reconnect with her during a walk on the beach by drawing in the sand an image of Nella inside a heart and telling her she will always be in his heart. Nella gives a melancholy smile and says “Till the tide comes in”. It’s a beautiful moment, full of love and fragility.

Clifford moved to Australia and became a noted sculptor, though tantalisingly little can be found about the man himself from some quick searches online.

The film captures much of how I imagine the day-to-day business during the war to have been. It’s rather ordinary, with life events squeezed into the windows of time when people are allowed to be people. The stakes may be high, but the more pressing issues for Nella to deal with are the snobbery which almost prevents her from entering the cliquey upper middle class committee of the WVS, and the strained relationships once she does as more established members resent Nella’s proactive approach, fearing it will affect their own status.

In one such scene, Nella gets the WVS operating again after an air raid which has distracted Mrs Waite from being able to give it her attention. In the days before telephones were commonplace Nella, with Mrs Waite’s approval, rallies support by placing an announcement in the paper) Most of the women appreciate Nella’s action, but Mrs Lord (played brilliantly by Marcia Warren, whom I watched most recently as one of the best things in the tacky sitcom Vicious) questions Nella’s authority to place the announcement, suggests that Nella hadn’t spoken to Mrs Waite because the telephones were down after an air raid. Then, on realising that Nella had physically scrambled to Mrs Waite’s to see if she was all right, Mrs Lord simply takes over and thanks the ladies for turning up. It’s just one example of the battle for territory that goes on in these situations. There’s an irony to it taking place as a more bloody territorial battle is taking place in the greater world, and it perfectly encapsulates the pettiness and pointlessness of such soul-destroying battles which continue to pervade in some way in most people’s working or social lives, no matter how harmonious things may seem.

There’s a great deal of loss, with deaths, life-changing injuries, damaged properties and trauma. But it’s part of the fabric of life. The air raids are a nice example of this. There’s a moment where Nella and Will hear crashing in the house from their bunker, and Nella comments that it’s the plates she had on display in the hall, saying how silly it was of her to neglect to take them down and wrap them, with much the same air of someone realising they’d forgotten to take the bin out for collection.

If Victoria’s aim with the film was to bring Nella’s voice to light - and I have to assume that was at least a large part of this film’s purpose - she’s been entirely successful. I’ve already been looking on shopping sites at the books based on Nella’s diaries, and won’t feel I have the full picture until I’ve read some more.

The film’s BAFTA awards were thoroughly deserved. It’s taken me long enough, but I’m glad to say this film is finally part of my world.

 

[Ukdallasfan]

Genius film. David Threlfall was perfectly cast as her husband. A gifted, classically trained actor who can play all kinds of parts convincingly. Doesn’t surprise me that Vic needed someone like him for the role

 

[Mel O'Drama]

David Threlfall was perfectly cast as her husband. A gifted, classically trained actor who can play all kinds of parts convincingly. Doesn’t surprise me that Vic needed someone like him for the role

He was excellent. I didn't recognise him, and nothing on his IMDb page leaps out as familiar, so that was a big help to me in believing his performance. I have a feeling I wouldn't recognise him if I saw him in something else. He looks very different in this to most images of him online.

 

[Barbara Fan]

I had a friend in LOndon who went to see Acorn Antiques the musical and she wasnt a fan of it at all and one of the reasons why - was due to no Miss Wood as Miss Berta

 

[Ukdallasfan]

My sister and I saw it on tour and really enjoyed it. It was really clever and very funny

 

[Barbara Fan]

The exception to this is Stephanie Cole who as Mrs Waite is unmistakable.

She was just perfect - as only Dr Beatrice aka Steph Cple can be - and can just see her a bossy WVS member but with a heart. I loved all the back biting and vying for the main spot on the Committee.

I never realised that Nathan the groomer of Bethany in Corrie played her son, a very different role there.

I never ever watched Shameless so David Threlfall is always a baddie who sided with the IRA and tried to kill Harrison Ford in Patriot Games and a German Nazi in Conspiracy (if you have never seen that, its a great watch, cold, clinical and great acting as Nazis try to pitch the Final Solution re the Jews in Europe, its chilling)

I havent got to the filming of that in her book yet, so no titbits

in her book Geoffrey Durham has lost 7 stone and became a quaker, she was friends with Richenda Carey (the Duchess of where ever in dinnerladies) and one of her closest frinds since Uni was Jane Wymark of Poldark and later Midsommer Murders fame and she became friendly with Dawn French and Lenny Henry

 

[Mel O'Drama]

had a friend in LOndon who went to see Acorn Antiques the musical and she wasnt a fan of it at all and one of the reasons why - was due to no Miss Wood as Miss Berta

I can understand that. Last night I watched the bonus features on the DVD which show Vic playing Mrs Overall (on Julie Walters' bingo nights ). She does a nice enough job, but things feel even more off-kilter when the only originals playing the same characters are Celia and Duncan.

It would have been great if Vic could have played Berta in her two performances a week, but that could have got really confusing and I can understand she might like the challenge of giving Mrs O a go. Plus I wonder if Berta's songs were written with Sally Ann Triplett in mind, who has a huge West End voice.

Mind you, I was very impressed with Vic's belt at the end of Macaroons, which was even better than Julie's.

My sister and I saw it on tour and really enjoyed it. It was really clever and very funny

Oh great. Were any of the originals in, or were there different actors? I'm fairly sure I saw the version with Sara Crowe in the theatre.

I loved all the back biting and vying for the main spot on the Committee.

Oh goodness. It was so well done. Having served on a number of committees for different things it's just spot on. I never cease to be amazed by how threatened people can be by small changes or when someone else gets praise or credit for something.

David Threlfall is always a baddie who sided with the IRA and tried to kill Harrison Ford in Patriot Games

Oh - then I probably have seen him in this. But a long time ago.

Conspiracy (if you have never seen that, its a great watch, cold, clinical and great acting as Nazis try to pitch the Final Solution re the Jews in Europe, its chilling)

Thanks - I'll add it to my bucket list.

 

[Ukdallasfan]

Celia and Duncan were both in it on tour- just fab. No Julie, but the actress who was Mrs Overall, sorry I can’t remember her name, was absolutely brilliant

 

[Mel O'Drama]

in her book Geoffrey Durham has lost 7 stone and became a quaker,

Oh. I hadn't realised he'd lost weight as well. I remember him being very large and imposing as The Great Soprendo in the Eighties.

she became friendly with Dawn French and Lenny Henry

Speaking of them, this Aspel interview is worth a look. The first has Vic and Kate Bush chatting away. In the second, Vic and Lenny reminisce about their days on New Faces, while Kate is sandwiched in between them:

She also wrote this Comic Relief thing for Dawn, which features oodles of Vic's usual ensemble, and Victoria herself. See how many faces you can recognise:

Celia and Duncan were both in it on tour- just fab. No Julie, but the actress who was Mrs Overall, sorry I can’t remember her name, was absolutely brilliant

Oh - lucky you. I'd love to have seen that version live!!

 

[Mel O'Drama]

Victoria’s Empire







Episode One - India, Hong Kong and Borneo



(29th April 2007)

​

Now this documentary is a treat. A travel show with an interest in British colonisation during the reign of Queen Victoria. Or as Vic describes her:

This rather grumpy monarch who actually never went further than the Isle Of Wight.

It’s a line that sums up exactly why Victoria Wood is perfect for such a vehicle. It may seem an unusual choice on the surface, but then people might have said the same of Michael Palin at one time.

Vic talks about some ugly and controversial aspects of our history without romanticising, glossing over or apologising. Instead of earnest maudlin sentiment, Vic delivers the facts with her usual humorous edge, but also very much from her point of view. There’s no sense of a party line, so it’s a little like a bohemian schoolteacher who’s not afraid to include their opinion, which brings dry facts to life:

Coming from a twenty first century Britain, where everything is so politically correct and you can’t even have a skipping race unless everybody wins, it’s very hard to imagine that empire-building mindset where not only was it OK to reign over a completely different country with a completely separate culture and history, but it was perfectly fine to plonk great ugly British buildings all over it. I mean, talk about monumental arrogance.

Above all, it’s a human interest show. Vic is someone with an eye for small details that make people tick. Practically her entire body of work embodies this. Here we get to watch her interacting with people, establishing a genuine connection. It’s beautiful to watch because of how authentic Vic is. She doesn’t gush or patronise or lead people in certain directions. She’s interacting with people from very different cultures, and yet she doesn’t change how she speaks or carries herself. She simply is who she is which allows them to be exactly who they are. And the end result feels far more truthful and far less sanitised than it otherwise might.

I particularly loved her taking tea with the plantation worker in Darjeeling and his wife. They chat and laugh, but she mostly listens. Every time she asks a question, they both respond with great enthusiasm, talking over one another. At one point Vic throws in a voiceover:

No, we haven’t speeded the film up. That’s how married people talk.

There are some cracking Victoria Wood lines. With some of them you can almost hear the voices of assorted iconic Vic characters saying the lines. This could easily have come from As Seen On TV's daytime travel guru Joan:

They’re missing a trick her with their derelict churches. Have they not heard of the concept of the discount carpet warehouse?

While I can imagine Jean from dinnerladies saying:

Now, I didn’t come here to laugh at funny foreigners but I was brought up by parents who didn’t really like you to run the hot tap because it was wasteful. So a shop that sells huge gold ornaments isn’t really my sort of place… I’m from Lancashire. We don’t flaunt. We tut. It would take a lot of upkeep, a gold bathroom. Finger marks? If I was one of the Hong Kong elite, I would get a plain toilet and just write on the seat “I am really rich. Now wash your hands.” It’s not hygienic.

There’s a lot of ground covered. From the British deliberately breaking the ban on the profitable opium trade and taking Hong Kong as a result to the Chinese eating dogs. Foodstuffs, too, are given the Victoria Wood treatment. She’s given an in-depth account of how sago is made and can’t even pretend to get excited. And she screws her face up while eating hundreds of quids' worth of birds nest soup, unable to get past the fact that the key ingredient is bird saliva. It’s all hugely endearing.

 

[Barbara Fan]

Ive got that DVD as it came with a box set, but i dont know if i have ever watched it, I dont think i have!! however will need to dig it out although Mr Palin remains no 1 for me and if he said BF, pack your bags and I will show you the world Id be off in a shot!!

I seem to remember long ago watching a VW tribute to Dads Army and she was driving Mr Jones van, or did i imagine that??

 

[Mel O'Drama]

i dont know if i have ever watched it, I dont think i have!! however will need to dig it out

It's worth a look. I'm sure I must have watched it before, but can't remember it at all, which is great. I'm looking forward to parts two and three.

Mr Palin remains no 1 for me and if he said BF, pack your bags and I will show you the world Id be off in a shot!!

He's great. I once met him at a book signing and he was very friendly and had a lovely calm air.

I seem to remember long ago watching a VW tribute to Dads Army and she was driving Mr Jones van, or did i imagine that??

Ooh - I hadn't heard of that, but I've just found it.

I'll come back to this one.